lampposts sway, moon ascends, darkness falls,
copper wires slung above sidewalks, the murmur
of words, two bike-cops ride inches above asphalt~
I pull the car over, there's no destination now;
no city map to guide us, what we're looking for
has been with us from the start; the rearview mirror
is empty tonight; no need for stars in the sky;
resolute of intent; problems left in the gutter;
I touch your face, softly, remember last night's love
Author notes
Written November 1st, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
-
Thank you, Decadent Torment, for the lovely comment and applaud. It's always nice to know when someone appreciates a poem. Thanks again. ~Mark
-
Beautiful
Beautiful imagery and excellent job. Good luck in the contest. -
Very nicely done
-
wonderful
I would remove the "is" before "empty tonight". I think the message is clear with the end in ..."rearview mirror" and the next stanza completing with "empty tonight". Hope that helps.
I so enjoy seeing where your mind travels.... this was a piece full of great imagery...Love the bike cops! ha! Your writing Mark is always a pleasure to read! Keep up the awesome work! I can't wait to stop back and see how this plays out , ~Tia
-
very beautiful
-
mj,
The images you chose are quite erotic but presented too early in the poem.
Set the stage so the reader connects the action with the description/metaphor etc.
I pull the car over, there's no destination now;
no city map to guide us. (What) we're looking for
has been with us from the start; the rearview mirror
is empty tonight; no need for stars in the sky;
resolute of intent; problems left in the gutter;
...Now have darkness fall on copper wires slung loosly above the murmur of words and the moon ascend the lamp post ....
df -
All American
"the rearview mirror
is empty tonight;"
Love the metaphor here. Soft, subtle, chill. Like most of your writing, which I imagine contributes to your applaudability factor. You write very cool, like a poetic James Dean or something. No flowery speech, just straight to tacks. Soft,Scissor Sharp Love Tacks.
peace
-
Thank you for reading my poem and leaving such a lovely comment. Thanks again. ~Mark
-
This whole piece of poetry is made up of short pictures of beautiful images, like pictures snapped one after the other, telling a story. I really like it.
-
Soft and light
This made such a delightful read and one that reading aloud gave it a warmth that you very probably intended. I enjoyed it very much. -
Superb/romantic/unique/fun
very nicely done. I like it quite a bit. -
Thank you for reading my poem and leaving such a wonderful comment. Most appreciated. Thanks again. ~Mark
-
Thank you for reading my poem and leaving such a wonderful comment. Yes, simplicity is best. Thanks again. ~Mark
-
There is something rather odd about this which i fell in lvoe with immediately... I think its the setting which you describe, gradually softening it throughout and bringing about a sense of timelessness. It kind of drifts from one line to the next.
~Faded
-
Thank you for reading my poem and leaving a most appreciated comment. Thanks again. ~Mark
-
Nice and short, great mood setting, very soft as the title implied. The best poems make us think deeply about "simple" things in life and you've done that well. The poem feels like movie in slow motion or something.
-
Thank you for reading my poem and leaving such a lovely comment. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again. ~Mark
-
What I like about this is all the memories it brings up of pulling over; being pulled over (being pulled over) The fuzzy warm place of early love. Keep meeting each other's emotional needs, and there is no need for the fires to dim...
-
Sure enjoyed reading this out loud - always do, as it gives the poem a differenet flavour and makes it come much closer than just reading it to myself. Flow is fast in the first verse, then mellows in the second and third.
-
Such a beautiful piece of poetry written by a much talented poet...enjoyed reading this piece and you...smiles, Terry
-
I love your style in this and the soft fuzziness and the images you use. Like blurry edges of a sepia world in love. Well done.
-
Great... amazing, also the last verse was breathtaking, it happens to me all the time lol, well had to read it over and over until i got over it
-
i like the flow of this piece.
lampposts sway, moon ascends, darkness falls,
copper wires slung above sidewalks, the murmur
of words, two bike-cops ride inches above asphalt~
i love the imagery there.
it really enhances the piece.
well done. -
Awesome read!
How fast were you going?
Been there, but its been usually on my way to work! This was lovely! TY for this awesome read! -
Great
Great imagery you have used in this write. Feeling flows through out this.. Thank you for sharing this poem
Tracey -
I love how you said lamppost sway in the very beginning a perfect way to get this started because ive never seen a lampost sway so it was pretty cool to pitcure so of course i had to read on and on aweseom beautiful write...WRITE ON ROCK ON READ ON!!!!
-
7
Very good and romantic, really liked this one. Good Job. -
Descriptive Imagery, I'm gonna have to check out some more of your writes, keep on living, keep on writing.
-
This is sweet and a very romantic read.
-
Awwww... This was just sweet. How darling.
-
coolio
Totally cool. I really really liked it, keep it up. Can't wait to read more.
your friend,
Ace ♠ -
Sweet Love
Very Romantic Indeed.................... -
This is really beautiful. Thank you for letting me peek in at this rendesvous, I feel a bit like a voyeur, but this touched me and brought me back to mornings just like this; when nothing else mattered.
Adding your comment:
1 - 33 of 33
16 old applause
