hide and seek of pain and pleasure
spinning us in whirlpools beyond measure
when and where ,in life,we be in leisure
Author notes
oh this is life
Written October 31st, 2006
A contest entry
- 25 Words Or Less - Prewrites Allowed!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
450 points, ended January 2, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A very good description of life. Good rhyme scheme also. A lot said in three lines. Well done.
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I like the rhyme with this...and it is very true... I like crossing the two between each other, I don't feel so guilty of doing nothing then! hehe.
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interesting
the sortness of this is interesting and says alot...well done -
Nilav ~ I wanted to read your work after you posted such a nice comment on mine. I like this - short, simple, to the point. Yes, this is life...I will read more of you, and I hope you will read more of me.
Love, Lane -
we still play those childhood games, pleasure and pain travelling us, a good poem. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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A very good explaination of life but the second line
"spinning us in whirlpool beyond measure"
It needs to either be revised or you may want to add an "a" before whilrpool or make whirlpool plural for it to sound better when you read it.
Bradley
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