Autumn wind
blows through the trees
little by little
green becomes orange
on the sidewalk
Author notes
Written October 30th, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
-
Nothing to say, you describe what I do not want to think about for a few months. I'm into now...right, umm, now.
-
simple elegance here, and the mood is unstated, the reader...imagines; so very nice.
-
it's forever autumn here where i live - or it seems that way, lots of rain and windy days better that though than a desert
-
Ms MariGoes you paint with words. - Quite beautiful. ---- Thank you.
-
you're a true poet Mari.. capturing it in few words in entirety.. like I'm transported to where you vaguely take us and suddenly am back home in my chair! Beautiful.. colours are so powerful!
-
well written pretty poem.
-
I love the color leaves turn before they fall, in PA where I am now living with my girlfriend they turn tan, gold, brown, copper and even purple and red, driving through the valley's it is absolutely beautiful, unfortunately they have fallen now but it is still very pretty here as we now have snow,
-
We're beyond that stage, we have a few inches of snow on the sidewalk. Autumn is depressing, yet I like it when the breeze is warm and it's sunny. I think it would be fun to sit in a park on such days and watch dogs running around chasing frisbees.
-
good job
Did I way how much I liked your tanka. Another point, the way you spaced the lines, couldn’t be better.
Smiling
-
YES!!!
Very cool & very nice, colorful and visual, great autumn Tanka.
Unc
-
Beautiful, Mari, it is a sigh, a wonder of nature seen, felt...
love the 'little by little'...the Autumn feeling, the colors of the changing season, so simply put, with such a grace of style, yes, you are amazing at these Tankas and this was such a peacefullly wonderful observation of Nature's changing season...
I so recall how much those changing leaves were such a wonder to me as I grew up in New England, thank you for the memory brought back
xxoo
Love,
mi mi
miss you also, and you always seem to bring some touch of beauty and love, somehow...
Ima wants to find hidden layers, oh, wish he could do that in person or at least share this new time or at least soon, with you, together for real!
oh my!
-
Wonderful tanka my sweet Mari! This has the beauty of Mother nature and your precious heart folded together and rolled into five delicate lines of everlasting beauty as pretty as Autumn. I love the season you mention here and the transition has been brought out ever so delicately. I love the lay out, the flow, the background and the words you penned here. It is so refreshing to sink into this delicate poem
I too feel this one must get published All the best!
Love,
Charishma
-
Please applaud Leo2 so all commenters except me will have had your applause.
Babe, with you there is usually a hidden layer...you can tell that to the yokels but not to me.
And then orange becomes brown, and brown regenerates and fertilizes the earth for the re-birth of Spring...yes my hope springs eternal...
Don't applaud this, I want everyone to say, "Poor Mayne, he understands her so well and yet she doesn't applaud his understanding."
-
I recently spent some time in the northeast and the changing of the seasons is a beautiful thing to behold indeed. Well done my friend.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
Bravo!!! Encore!!!
Wonderful, absolutely wonderful! Now this is what I’m talking about, a very good tanka. Good leap in line 3 to line 4. Works very well. The underlining thought in line 5 make the whole tanka come alive in color.
You should join the “Tanka Society of America”. I have had the honor of having my tanka published in every quarterly journal since I have joined, and they will be doing a review on my new book that’s out now, some time in spring. I think your tanka is a worthy one that should be published.
All the best to you.
SirPort
Please see my page on: Books and Accomplishments.
-
I miss the autumn colours of Canada - here all is yellow and brown. Orange and red maples brighten a darkening season. But before we know it, the days will be getting longer.
The third line seems to link better with the last two lines; I like the two images, and I see that the wind does its work over time. This is true to life.
-
We didn't talk that long, there was no time to tell you
Those lines came up while I was looking through the window and saw the leaves 'flying' away from the trees and falling on the sidewalk. Just about nature, no hidden meaning.
-
A companion piece to your other poem on CB, and with the same tone and I fear the same underlayer. You never tell me when you post things anymore.
-
I meant tree, typo is fixed now. Thanks dad
-
Yah...those dang kids and their crayons, always painting
the sidewalks... Expansion gives way to contraction
as growth spurts fall away
Natural cycles near end, head to hibernation
as we await the coming of
a fresh Spring day
Hugs...Eddy
Edited on Oct 30, 4:05 p.m. because 'forgot how to speal their...lol'. -
I quite like this one with the shared middle line.
Good to see you up and about.
John -
Ole! Mi querida hija,
~~~
Dear Mari, will you tell me please:
did you mean "tress" or is it "trees"?
For either one makes good sense where
the autumn wind disturbs your hair
or, as November month advances,
the leaves will leave tha baring branches.
~~~
I personally love Autumn and the sight of golden leaves chasing each other in the wind along the streets and footpaths and across my lawns. Best of all though, I love Spring which heralds the renewal of life and tells us that warm Summer, rather than cold Winter, will be next.
A descriptive and attractive tanka which I applaud and bookmark.
Love and hugs, XXX El Padre. -
I personally love autumn - but then again i would I hate the dark aswell... freaks me out! Beautiful write
Hugs,
xx Katy
-
Very pretty indeed- I have liked the perfect picture you have constructed of autumn- 'green becomes orange'- we have a very warm orange almost a red
-
I don't need light in the morning - not good for my temper
(I should be in bed before 10 AM but work tells me otherwise 
) lol 
I have a nice, big and warm wintercoat
-
At least we have more light in the morning. Too cold to be walking around after 6 anyway
-
I sooo furiously hate autumn
and the hour change of last weekend Well... we got to sleep one hour longer (I took that as one hour longer partying ) but the days are so freakingly short now and it's dark too soon
and it won't get any better with winter coming
Ah well, this is very beautiful sweet mommer Tanka... even though quite familiar to haiku, I always failed to write a proper one
Wonderfully done!
Adding your comment:
1 - 27 of 27
