Looking out of my picture window...its view extending from my floor to the ceiling... no sunlight piercing its pane...It's cloudy. Like a dark... dark night the tiny drops bombarded the glass... liken a meteor shower piercing the ebony light. A blue gray blanket lay over me as the sparks blurred my vision....the voice of the firmament shook my soul... the heavens were awakening. Looking into my tear dropped pane, grayed by the heavens.....I saw a reflection.... Eyes that sparkled like the sun...soft... warm. A face... toned... gentle... tilted to a smile... speaking without words....the firmament bellows....Hair to its shoulders... like dark silk.... cords of gold...its ears the size of an apricot... ripened ...sweet.... a temptation for the tongue. My mirage... my echo.. a shadow of Eve.. so perfect a first fruit... this seasons harvest. Nearing me...the reflection has breath...my pane... wet... tiny drops...trickling down... so wet. The voice of the firmament riddles the gray....the reflections breath upon my neck... so warm... so soft... I smell a scent... a scent of an iris, lavender, jasmine... the scent of a reflection... it's so wet.. on my pane... tiny drops trickling down... flooding beneath my feet.. the storm escalating..roaring, touched... a hand...caressing my back... down... Down... Down... the drops trickled.. soft , gentle fingertips seducing my soul...a shadow upon me.. harder... HARDER... the tiny drops fall. A rhythm... steady beating... against my pane. Up my back like a flag pole... it's so hard... to resist the drops... dripping.. running down my pane. Hands from behind...the tiny drops caressed my landscape.. an echo bellows... my body quakes.. hands touching my chest... rubbing my eyes.. focusing....... I turn around.........my reflection gone............ the heavens pour.
Author notes
"Sieara"
In a list
A contest entry
- Show me your heart - I want to feel what you feel by TheDemonEve.
600 points, ended May 31, 2007, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me Erotic by Swan song.
480 points, ended July 21, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sunshine on a Rainy Day by anaisnais.
300 points, ended September 11, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Love Poetry Ever Written!!!! Give Me All of Your Passion!!! by la dolce vita.
350 points, ended March 28, 29 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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beautifull write i loved it very erousing......
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yes subtle eroticism but with so much lust I like that. It has the insatiable feel, and I like that too. You are heat sir, that i can feel in my bones.
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A vision of Eve...slowly painted in a vision upon the rain. With every dropm of water...riddles of the reflection seen within. Lovely words. Best wishes in the contest ~Sie
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I thank you for this piece. Not so sure about the ... though. Perhaps you could use regular punctuation and have it read a bit easier.
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I am held spell bound
Sensual yes, but its deep, its passionate, alluring,
breath taking.
The flow of brilliance
So glad I found you as a writer of sensual love
Julie
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Yes this what I want. Passion yes!
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this is quite hot...a very arousing poem, or prose...not sure what this is ..but it's hot...lol
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awww this is so beautiful, wonderful job and congrats on all those trophies, and good luck in this one =)
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Lovely write...exellent thanks for your entry and good luck.
e
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A very good piece to read.
Final score: 9.2
Thanks for sharing.
VIRGOAN -
I thought this one was great too! It's very soft and sentimental. I think that it shows a person who is looking out on the world during rain or shine and seeking their mate. My favorite part was how you suddenly ended with it pours because it brings us back to the solemn picture of the rain outside your window and you looking quietly out. I wasn't that fond of the elipses but that's because they were distracting to me. And I had a question. How come you don't use paragraphs at all. Do you not like them or is there another reason?
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"The voice of the firmament riddles the gray" - interesting and beautiful line.
This is my first time to read this poem. I will be re-reading all the entries like I usually do.
Initial score = 9.0
Thanks for sharing and keep on writing my friend.
VIRGOAN -
Thank you for entering my competition and good luck!
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I would almost call this prose but it is very border line and i will read this again very good
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WoW! now this is a poem to wake you up~I really like the feelings of love it sends out...Softly sensual...Love the imagery Thank you so much for sharing and entering
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fingertips seducing my soul...
Interesting construction! I like your word choice and the imagery evoked. There's a subtle sensual feel to this work.
Well done!
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This is very deserving of a gold. I think you did a wonderful job. Keep writing such beautiful peices.
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WOW. This is a fine, fine piece. It fits the contest subject to a T.
Best of luck, and thanks for entering! -
"My mirage... my echo.. a shadow of Eve.. so perfect a first fruit... this seasons harvest."
The imagery in this prose is enchanting. The poem flows effortlessly. I wanted to investigate your origins at AP. You came here with magical pen. I do wish you'd write more. You have the "gift".
Your personification of this storm (which is my most favorite weather condition) envelopes the reader and takes us to the picture window along side your every notion. This is beautifully penned with such skill of craft. For some reason, the prose format lends itself well to these poetic words. Very tender!
EXQUISITE!
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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'twas not a problem
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WOW SO UNIQUE, DETAILED AND OUT THERE!!! Let me say, I loved the ending, it was awesome...Whoosh..and i liked it alot...
good luck!
--Inanonsensible Way-- -
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that a good poem
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The form you have chosen makes this almost a story, a sensuous one at that. Thank you for the entry. -N
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Beautiful!
I loved the imagery and the sensuality of it, very lovely piece and I'm glad the you decided to share it with me. Thank you; and thanks again for entering my contest.
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Beautiful
This is most likely one of the most beautiful pieces I've read in a while; soft, romantic, sensual...all the things that truly touch a woman's heart
Thank you for sharing; this is awesome -
wow! this is so brilliantly written - what I have really enjoyed is that you have very tastefully strung words to compose a fantastic imagery- this piece is so open to interpretation- I have really enjoyed it a whole bunch
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