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Agony

Missing image
Soldiers, bright-eyed and mud-covered



Trudge through visions of their blood brothers



Minds weary of war



Names inscribed in marble stone



Author notes

To my brothers and sisters
Written October 27th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    April 1, 2008

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    I can see how this won gold it is a great piece of poetry. I think spacing it a bit closer would be a good thing, but it does make a high impact. Great job.


  • Luminescence
    March 14, 2008

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    aww.... I really liked this... it so sad...

    Thank you so much for entering and participating in my contest and good luck,
    ~luminescence


  • storiesuntold gold member
    March 7, 2007

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    Very nice work here

    Should the whispers of their fallen commrads be heard the world would fall silent. To be near and see the head stones the words can be felt within the soul .
    Lord let there be peace on earth for no child should ever be face to face with the devil.


  • Cannonsfire
    December 29, 2006

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    Just about sums up the picture very neatly. I hope they have a good and quiet New Year, I am sure they don't want to hear any firworks at all! Intense and vivid write Gar. Well thought out.


    • MotorcycleFreak silver member
      December 29, 2006
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      Thanks Love

      This one was hard to write, for it is about my blood brothers and sisters. ~PeacE~Gar


  • Night Phoenix
    November 23, 2006

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    Total Score: 8/10

    Spelling and Grammar
    Perfect.
    SCORE: 2

    Word Choice
    Well done considering the length of the piece.
    SCORE: 1

    Topic/Passion
    The picture adds a lot to the power of this piece. I very much like the last line.
    SCORE: 2

    Form
    The lines are spaced out like crazy... did you do that or is it AP messing things up again? One way or the other, it's really distracting!
    SCORE: 1

    Reading the Rules
    There be the !
    SCORE: 2

1 - 7 of 7