A beautiful girl, holding an axe
A two-faced girl stabbed me in the back
The beautiful girl tried again
I grabbed it off her and cut off her hands
A good friend sharpening his knife
He tried to kill me, so I took his life
Some random person
Cleaning his gun
About to finish what I had begun
So I shot him, right in the arm
I shot him again to finish him off
I made sure it was his head that I shot
So there I was getting even with those people
They thought they could beat me
They were wrong
Coz my anger was just too strong
Too strong for them to handle
I went back home, with blood on my candle
Blood on my hands and on my face
On the streets there was blood all over the place
After that I couldn’t help but smile
That should make people think twice
Before they mess with me
Author notes
Written October 26th, 2006
A contest entry
- SHORT POEMS PART 2 by Blooming Poet.
700 points, ended March 23, 2008, 129 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm in the mood for anything, SO GO FOR IT! by Chocoholic156.
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What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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"On the streets there was blood all over the place
After that I couldn’t help but smile
That should make people think twice
Before they mess with me" .....
Well Yeah I am pretty damned sure they will think twice....DEFINATELY pulling the crazy thing off.
This was some serious vengence from start to finish.
Couldnt ask for much more revenge than all that.
AWESOME.
Thanks for the entry.
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This is kind of violent for me, I don't think that this is my absolute favorite poem, it definatly had passion and drive, which i found interesting. Thanks for submitting your poem.
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just like yourr other one I read, so much anger, so much passion and I love it. Violence is well penned here. Note to self don't mess with this person. *writing* jK>
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A bit violent.
But awesome style. I haven't seen anything like this in quite a while.
I liked the blood on the candle for some reason. It stuck with me.
<3Merber<3
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Not sure whether to laugh or not...
You're much too wise and in tune with things to believe that going Postal on your enemies is the best way to win, hun! So, I'll just swallow this one with a grain of salt and say...well done, nice expression of thought and flowed wonderfully, even if the subject matter was a bit much from what I know of you so far!
WW
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COLD...
this was really good. Feeling a bit Columbine? -
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is that u in the pic?
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yea...pretty much it is...I'm one of the two. Hard to believe isn't it?
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very hot
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the beginning I found kind of humorous but from there it got a little perverted, it's your style though, I won't bash it. I did like the beginning and the rhyme so good job
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hey shazz yeah bloody awsome poem my fav lines wer also
A beautiful girl, holding an axe
A two-faced girl stabbed me in the back
they're pretty kool and flow well and i love these lines 2
A good friend sharpening his knife
He tried to kill me, so I took his life
keep it up mate
luv Amirah
Edited on Nov 10, 7:32 p.m. because ''. -
Ha... revenge so sweet.
These were my favorite lines:
A beautiful girl, holding an axe
A two-faced girl stabbed me in the back
Good write although I would suggest going back and revising some of the lines to make it flow better. Other than that its a kick ass poem
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