when you close your eyes
when you close your eyes
do you see the light?
is there anyone there,
to tuck you in at night
can you remember a story
from a long time ago
or a song you can sing
to make the time disappear
do you dream about your past
or drift into your future
do you dream of pleasent things?
or do you drift into fear
do you cry when you are alone
or just sit back and stare
do you let life pass you by,
or do you grab it and run
are you afraid to stay here
do you run far away
do you often got lost,
or do you want to stay
are you happy here,
or do you find hope in the dark
do you sing when your scared
a song that you like
or do you cry the tears,
the tears you never cried
do you hold your tears
and pledge to never let them go
or do you watch them fall
as you wipe your eyes
when you close your eyes,
do you see the light?
is there anyone there,
when you say good night?
Author notes
option 1
A contest entry
- What is light? by Jay Elle.
300 points, ended October 31, 2006, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sad Dark Depressing...... by Ntagatf.
400 points, ended February 23, 2007, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Will you be the one to catch her? by over the rainbow--x.
525 points, ended February 20, 2008, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Move me! Anything goes. by Temprance.
450 points, ended June 10, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Score 7
at the begining I didnt think this would amount to much but when I got to the end I tasted something...sorrow perhaps, lonliness with a tinge of hopelesness... Very nice ending
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i loved it very emotinal great job!
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Some questions that i want to ask my ex-
this was lovely, filled with lots of emotion [=
thanks for entering, good luck in my contest [=
♥
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I honestly loved this! I fully understand it!!! great job thank you for entering my contest and good luck!! Keep up the good work!
~tearstaindangel~
PS You need to place you option# in the authors notes or you'll be disqualified and i dont wanna do that so please go and fix it before my contest ends!!! -
I love it
This is very nice. I understand it perfectly. Cool.
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I like the overall poem but a few typos
do you cry when your alone - you are or you're NOT your
do you often got lost - should be get
do you sing when your scared - as previously
These mistakes interrupt the flow of a piece - your/you're have different meanings so when reading the wrong version your intention within the poem is ruined.
I particularly liked the last verse, a very good ending
Thanks for entering,
Jay
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