In the deep, dank hollows
where the legs have finally stopped running
and the mind has accepted that no hope remains,
the head lies unblinking in the cold, damp dirt,
cheek turned from hideous reality
that is close now, ever closer now,
ears tuned in resignation
to the slither and thump of encroaching innuendos.
Loss, grief, rage, dishonor, pain.
They circle cyclone fashioned
about a house too long neglected.
Splintered foundation, abandoned decoration, askew leanings;
a non-surviving derelict of the drop to someplace colorful.
Battles lost, friends lost,
cruel decimations innocent of a ruling remorse.
Miasmic swarms of hollow eyed specters
wail in the firsthand knowledge of un-resurrected death,
super-human effort rejected as not enough to save the day.
And yet we feed on those we love,
biting and worrying at wounds of our creating,
as un-exorcised ghosts are allowed to decay.
Familiarity and comfort tossed aside to lie in crumpled heaps
atop of love, loyalty, and truth.
Faith remains, Dear God may it ever remain,
its loss the last unspeakable.
Within it now exists the arms out flung, head bowed certainty
that Faith does not prevent sorrow,
Faith does not prevent pain,
Faith does not exclude despair, deception, devastation.
Faith is rather to have known
the sun, the spring, a lover’s kiss, a happy day.
Author notes
Written October 25th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
"Slendid!'
-
Nice job on this one.
-
Very good job. Good use of words, very deep imagery. I wish I had crafted something this good!
-
Hey, awesome poem you have here. It is very well written and flowed nicely. I like how it was dark, and yet talked of faith at the end. This poem is very deep and very good. Awesome job with it, I enjoyed reading it!
-
OMG awesome word usage here. I completely loved it! You did an abesolute brilliant job. I hope you keep writing from within!
See you around the deep end
moment liver
ADHL -
there is so much depth in the piece.
the imagery enhances your writing.
Battles lost, friends lost,
cruel decimations innocent of a ruling remorse.
i love that part. -
Hi John, thanks for your comments and also your concern! Yes, everything is okay, life is very, very blessed these days. This poem was just an odd piece that came out of wanting to have a "dark" poem for Halloween to take to my writer's group. I've had so many projects going on (getting married in June!) that I haven't been doing much writing or fiddle playing! But winter approaches...
-
Thank you for your comment, Dave. You asked what my inspiration was for this piece. I was trying to come up with something Halloween themed for my writer's group one night and remembered one of the deep hollows across the road from our property. One fall day I'd been hiking and mistimed the sunset in that hollow as I made my way home. I literally had to set my feet to "up" and feel my way out. A little spooky. I'm not sure if the poem is about the last thoughts of a kidnapped and brutalized girl, a soldier dying in some lone place, the end of a relationship... This poem sort of wrote itself. Not my usual stuff!
-
Thanks so much for your comments, Katie. As usual, your views are poetry in themselves! It was good to speak to you for a few minutes, even if the connection was horrible. I was thinking of you as I drove into work tonight on a crisp, clear night with a full moon over my left shoulder and moonshadow patterns all around. I always value not only your comments on my work but also your viewpoints.
Thank you again, my friend!
Eydie -
like this
God changes even the most hideous of circumstance. Not by miracle, but only his presence.
I have a friend who is wont to say quite often that, "..you can give up all hope for a better past!"
He is still one of my closest friends. But I found that when I believe that God was with me in those bad times so long ago, I re-experience those same things, but with a twist. I originally felt so alone then, but not now. So I find that God can travel even to that which is no more. Hey! It's his/hers!
Nice to see you writing! The last verse was dadblamed envigorationg!
Regards,
John -
a very very very fine piece
This is an interesting piece of poetry that forces the reader to ponder and plunge into a depthful profound reflection of the values of life. I like the choice of words and the way this poem is written reflects the weight to which the speaks bears on it mind.
A fine piece of artistry!!
What was your inspiration this masterful piece of literature?
-Keep the ink flowing!!
-Dave -
Three dimensional.
Well September Butterfly... you asked ol' Brother John what he thought of this poem. And I responded by doing my own spoken reading of it combined with what I felt to be appropriate background music and sounds. Glad you liked it! This one immediately struck me at some creative level. Like so many of your poems, you captured a three dimensional image with sights and sounds and feelings. I felt that so strongly that I had to be a part of its creation. Nice job! And it does go so very well with the time of year! Bravo! -
Superb piece of writing.
The first stanza brings to mind; a soul that has had to come face to face with a wall... a wall covered in writings that have been meant to destroy the soul... down to your lowest state of mind and of endurance. Seemingly the hunted has stopped running and is facing his/her demons... a resigned state of mind that no matter what he/she does, tis best to accept the inevitable rathern than to keep running.
How right you are to say that faith does not prevent pain, sorrow or despair, those emotions will always be around us, yet still we can smile when we remember all the good that has touched our lives and still does so.
This is truly a deep write, yet you have executed it with your usual style, well done
~Katie~
-
Creative excellence again with a command for words weaving interpretations of your intent.
Honesty,revelation,truths,abound here. Impressive you again being my super hero! I Love You! -
Excellent
Very deep my friend, very deep. Loved it. -
i loved this... it was really a deep thought. i especially liked the last 8 or so lines, the ones about faith, i kinda understand what you are saying. keep it up!
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
