Big boobs on wenches and chests full of treasures
Maidens in corsets and taking our pleasures
Having our mugs always filled up with grog
sneaking on ships surrounded by fog
Chorus:
When the wind bites
when the salt stings
when Im going mad
I simply remember me favorite things
then I dont feel so bad.
Pillaging villages, burning down houses
lifting up skirts and then tearing off blouses
stabbing the land lubbers straight through the heart
then hanging up corpses before we depart
Hornswaggling peasants and stealing their booty
spending the evening with me lovely beauty
feeding the fish with the traitor on board
slitting his throat with my new shiney sword
Chorus
Finding the fellow who run me mate through
killing the scallywag and his whole crew
Stealing the lot of their golden doubloons
digging their eyes out with old rusty spoons
Repeat Chorus x 3
Author notes
my hubby was in a pirate band (pirates r us) and I wrote this for them to the tune of "my favorite things" from the sound of music. 
If you get bored, check them out:
www.pirates-r-us.com/
Written October 25th, 2006
A contest entry
- Musicals--the good, the odd and the obscure by Sincerely.
300 points, ended November 11, 2006, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Arg, Matey!!! by Sokarjo.
600 points, ended February 26, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Parody Master by Death-Head.
700 points, ended August 4, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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This is a very funny parody. I can hear it going with the pirate voice and the flow is great. It could be a pirate metal version.
Great job!
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XD, great parody my fave line is "feeding the fish with the traitor on board, slitting his throat with my new shiny sword"
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Nicely done. Wasn't expecting to see parodys of show tunes, haha.
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Oh .. my god ..
That has got to be .. oh, wait ..
Arr, matey! That be quite the yarn! I danced a jig o'laughter until me poopdeck fell overboard! Arr! I be puttin' this fine beauty in me chest o'treasures!
(... my boyfriend always tells me I sound more like a leprechaun than a pirate .. but .. well .. *raspberries*)
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Nice write
That's a very good write. I like it very much,you did a good job with this poem. keep up the good work, and you have a nice day. -
my brother is fixated with pirates, vikings to be exact. i think they're gross, smelly and pervs. i want to be a pirate!
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This was a thoroughly enjoyable read. The rhythm and rhyme fit perfect with the message. The presentation is top drawer material. Congratulations on the HM.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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lol very good, i like your new version very much, and how it fits to the music. great ideas in here, btw i love your auther page!
congrats on your hm; you deserved it
lucy
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I could hear Julie Andrews singing this as I was reading Jen - so either Im completely potty or you did a good job!
Nice to read something of yours and something so light hearted too =)
Lisa x -
Great pirate song This is a really original song for your husbands band Congrats on the honourable mention.
Thanks for your comment
Pozo
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Haha! Now that's what I call music! tee-hee.
Fantastic write, jolly good fun. Thank'ee for your entry and good luck! 
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Lol.. this is wonderfully hilarious, Jen
I laughed and sang all the way through it. A superb, funny, well done piece.
Good luck in the contest, this one is surely a winner
Love and
Dee
PS, I love your new author page, all the pictures of your beautiful family... I still haven't redone mine except to get frustrated and take everything off of it. It kept screwing up when I tried to edit it one day.
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You are so HILARIOUS ...
at times and so is your song! Thanks for the laugh. I MUST say this: I think your most favorite "things" are your family members. You have captured them all in such adorable photos on your Author's page. PERFECT. I really loved those and the way you succeeded to reflect their own personalities. I also LOVED the inclusion of your mother: she is there. Be happy, Jen love!
Myra
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...I thought option 1 was to rewrite a song from a musical? this is from the Sound of Music.
And the Me in there is the way pirates talk. Me beauty, me grog, me favorite things...etc.
Please let me know what you meant in the rules. As far as I understood them, all I had to do was rewrite a song from a musical and make sure it was in tune with it.
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It's not for a musical...that depresses me. It was very good (watch the mes and mys. You switch them sometimes) This totally reminds me of when I was in gymnastics. It was our floor song
"when the bars bite
when the beam stings
when my vault is sad
I simply remember my favourite event
and then I don't feel so bad"
It was clever.
Anywhoot, if you can put it to a musical plot in the next couple of days let me know.
Much Love. -
I once knew a pirate named BOB
B-O-B Bob was a drunken old slob
B-O-B Bob, 'bout as dumb as a rock
but Bob
he made it to the top
singin'
"You swing from your tree and I'll swing from mine
You have your lemons and I'll have my limes
it's funny we all act like monkeys sometimes
So you swing from your tree and I'll swing from mine"
That's the only pirate song I know. I like yours better: the fact that you can use the term "hornswaggling" in a real sentence impresses the shit out of me. Thanks for making my morning a damn sight better. And I'll be checking out your boy's band...a pirate band, that's genius.
-Al -
Lol...I sang this all the way through ~ your 'new and improved' version of 'My Favourite Things' fitted perfectly with not a single glitch. Best of luck in the contest...
Very well done! Thanks for the giggle!
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Great song!!!
I really enjoyed it so much!>
Moves along well and I can just picture Captain Jack Sparrow and his crew swaying to the tune of this ditty while eyeing land in the distance.
Really took me into the whole pirate world.
Great imagery and a lot of fun to boot.
Thanks for the chuckles.
Kind regards
Previn -
ROFL!!!
I am kind of new to this site (today is my first day!!) and I have read spiritual poems, emo poems, sad poems, dark poems, gross poems, and this makes my first funny poem read.
I loved it. It was genius.
Wonderful.
May butterflies keep you.
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awesome
This is a wonderful poem! You should be very pleased with it Thank you for sharing and the best of luck to you in the contest.
Kari -
This is the first poem I've read in a long time that I've laughed outloud with. wow. I knew the tune from the start too. I'm going to have to show this to all of my friends. wow...lol. I liked the shiny new sword line too...and call me gross, but I likedthe line about digging out eyes with rusty old spoons too. you did a great job. lol...I'm still laughing.
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aiyyy!well done matey!
feeding the fish with the traitor on board
slitting his throat with my new shiny sword
how cool is that!very entertaining,thanks -
omgosh. This was so funny. It was absolutely hilarious. I even went ahead and sang the tune to it, but it was rellay bad singing because I was laughing throughout the whole thing. This was great. This is a great piratey song for a band. You're a great writer. You should definitely continue in your poetry, songwriting or not. I hope all goes well with your contest. Maybe you'll find some great new songs to play.
~Miranda~ -
I love that they're in apirate band. How unique is that? This song is a perfect pirate tune! I loved it. --->pixxie<---
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very, very clever
simply brilliant re-write of a classic song... I can almost see the muppets doing a version of this x-rated ditty... fantastic & well done... yo! ho! ho! an' a bottle of rum!
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