A New Poem
lives inside the poet,
a hollow sycamore.
It
hides beneath more
brown leaves than it should
& sleeps. It has no feet
that move against wood--
mistaken for the quickened heartbeat
of a frightened squirrel by a reader's ear
placed against the tooth scarred entrance,
but it is not a heartbeat. Hear
me it is not a dance.
It is the same old romance
for words, not meaningless sex,
that some call his poet pride
he protects,
unseen, inside.
Author notes
Written October 25th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Well, I suppose the trip to Mexico is out, but that is okay since you finally got the words out...
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zara, you have read beyond the free-verse look of this & found the form I built with rhyme... Good for you!!!
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wonderfully and slyly crafted. wonderful form and rhyme.
a new poem lived inside me yesterday and finally came out - with great effort. but I was very pleased with it. it's a start. perhaps my romance for words is returning.
yours is certainly present and bearing fruit.
good poem, rudy.
~travis
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wonderful ... from the comments received you are obviously not asking too much of the readers ...A>>> GINa
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I turn to your work to learn about structure. Not that there isn't much to enjoy - there is - but you are so sly about structure, devising your own to the extent that the reader barely notices, on first reading. (Well, this reader, at least - I read what I think is pure free verse, then I suddenly see/hear the rhyme scheme.) It is more obvious in this one than some, but there seems to be some of it, always, in your work. Me, I turn somewhat wooden, I think, when I work the words too carefully, or so I've been told lately. I have much to learn.
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You are correct--no such thing... Thanks for applauding...
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hilarious rhyme of "it" and "poet" .
Is there such a thing as meaningless sex? I respect myself much more after every self manipulation. -
I like the analogy of poems to trees.
I like trees
I even have been known to hug them
This poem is a sycamore poem
others are cottonwoods, cherry, ponderosa pine poems.
Roots...foliage, even squirrels.
I can see this so well
nice work
D -
Darn squirrels
very very funny creatures.
I still think I hear a heartbeat ......
Just back as the squirrels are attempting to jump from the weigela to the feeder this morning. -
Since this was suggested by & written too quickly for a reader we know,I appreciate the fact that the misspelled word and the rugged exterior was so well received. It was meant to be sneaky, a peek into the process of incubation of words before they get written & a play on words with the poet being a hollow tree.
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Pehaps I should have wrapped the new poem in some of that moss you wrote about instead of leaves, Jaden...
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The meter is a cheater in this, but the line breaks follow a definite pattern of rhymes. I'm not sure if I will keep the line with the internal/end-rhyme (wood/would) as it is. Perhaps that was asking too much of a reader...
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I'll try to figure it out, Lute, & thanks for pointing out the oopser(squirrell)--I'll correct the word & finish the thing this morning... I could not decide yesterday which word to use to rhyme with entrance...
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This carries its own set of quirks most effectively. Even more so with repeated readings. Deceptively simple ... and addictive.
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This
is a New Poem!
And it is beautiful. ( squirrel ) some poems have feet so they say, I have a difficult time understanding that part of all of this. I just know what I like
and I like
This New Poem!
It has rhymes and rhythm and good stuff. Like sycamore and more and would and wood. It is a very sneaky little thing isn't it?
I think I hear a heartbeat though....
Glad you stopped in. With a New Poem.
Lisa
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Beautiful.
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Wicked. It's got a funky meter to it. I like it. The meter is distracting but somehow it works to make the piece more unique. Nicely done. Thoroughly enjoyed it, as usual. Miss you
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What a Poem? You figger it out?
Mostly I think its not somphin else.
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