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Broken Romeo (Part I)

On those fair streets of Verona I pray,

a fight breaks out at the start of early day.

A fray between good Montagues,

And there rivals the Capulets as you knew.

Prince turned up just in time,

before the fray crossed a line.

He said, "You fight in these streets once more,

I'll show you want exile is for!"


As Capulet's and most Montague's depart,

Sir Montague opens up his heart.

"My son Romeo, my nephew, where is he?

I'm glad he missed this fray plenty.

But do you know of Romeo

and if he holds almighty woe?

So Benvolio Romeo's cousin says,

"I saw him walk this morn begin of day,

I tried to converse but he moved away.

Poor lad looked like he'd be broken hearted,

have not seen him since I departed."

"Oh here ho he comes now gracious Benvolio,

can you find what his heart doth know?"

So Montauge and wife depart,

while coz confronts the lonely heart.


"Why cos what is it that hurts you so?

Why hath thy eyes lost there glow?"

"Tis sad but true dear Rosaline,

she will never quite be mine.

She swears that she will remain chaste,

I do not see why she holds humble haste.

Do you not laugh at me cuz?

for I am stupid in all hope of love."

"I do not laugh but rather I weep,

for your heart is in to deep.

Why cos would I mock such love?"

"She is as beauteous as the Dove."

"Dear cos here comes a servant ho,

let's go forth to see what he doth know."

"Excuse me sirs can I procede,

can you help me for I can't read."

"Why good coz he's a servant of Capulet's ho,

a party! Alas, we must go!"

"Oh no coz, I cannot be seen."

"Wear a mask show what's unseen.

Rosaline your beauty goes,

it has no limits to who goes."


Mercutio Romeo's friend,

his heart in truth he does defend.

Accompanied by fair Benvolio,

whom brought along broken Romeo.

They place their misers over their face,

to hide there forsaken disgrace.

Enter into rich Capulet's dwelling,

but Prince of Cat's Tybalt's eyes were swelling.

Capulet's nephew fierce with ire,

Comfronts his uncle with glaze of fire.

"Uncle here lays a Montague, young Romeo,

I will slice him with my sword, ho!"

"I dare not make such hasty acts,

for on this night I have made a pact.

I would not wish to harm him so bad,

I heard he is a respectable lad."

"I will not allow it," Tybalt shouts,

"You will I tell you, now get out!"

Capulet pushes him to the side,

which wounds his vain cousins pride.

"I will get that Romeo who dares mock me so,

I will show him what pain he doth know."

Author notes

This is womantic... haha do tell me what you think... This is sort of another version of R and J just the way I wrote it... Changed some bits slightly but it's the basic story. This is part one... Do say what you think a.k.a. should I continue?? Thanks!
Written October 25th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • lovelovelove
    March 22
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    this is awesome


  • misshugglebugglez
    November 9, 2008

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    ooh, awesome! it gave me chills reading! i absolutely love the story of romeo and juliet...
    i thought you portrayed it very well =]
    awesome job! good luck in my contest! =)
    hugglez,
    adria/ confuzzled angel


  • CoundessaScarlotti
    April 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I adore this piece, there's such conviction in the rhyming and old English. Welcome to the finals, and please do continue!

  • whatami
    April 18, 2008
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    easier to understand then the original shakespeare . the last line is especially nice.


  • Timeless Wisdom silver member
    June 22, 2007

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    OMG!!! ROMEO AND JULIET!!! I LOVE THIS WRITE..and YES!! Continue...Romeo and Juliet is one of shakespears best..but alas, you come back with another wonderful version..Shakespear, eat your heart out!

    ~Raymond~


  • vampireblood
    October 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This was pretty good however....you didnt listen to the rules...you didnt put the option so I must DQ you...Sorry


  • freespirit51
    October 25, 2006
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    One of my favorite Shaksperean plays I must say. You did a good job so far. It will be interesting to see what you end up with at the end. ..great job so far, please continue.

1 - 7 of 7