Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Splash (Revision)

Sun rising, wind changing
As waves crash into the boat
The birds sore above
Diving down, catching prey

I begin to slide up off the seat
Looking out through the salty covered window

Taking my book I start to head out of the doorway
Feeling the wind blow past my body
Causing my eyes to close, smelling the sea as I inhale

I walk up to the bow
My body swaying as the boat moves
Kneeling down
The cold metal feels like ice

Listening to the wind
I open my book, the sheets rippling about
Like a traveling wave across the sea

I begin to write
As clear white, becomes black with ink
Voices begin to carry through the air
The sounds echo through, flowing about
As they diminish and  become part of the wind

Finishing the work
I tilt my head back for a moment
Thinking about what has been written

Looking down, breathing deeply
I read over the newly created work

Hearing the words dance in my mind
My eyes lightening up, a smile being formed

Placing the pen into the binder
I Get up, wobbling about
Closing the book quickly

Walking down from the bow
The sky lightens all around
The wind begins to settle
As the sea calms

I head back into the windless galley
Sliding back into a hard seat

I place the book into my bag
Sitting there, awaiting for the boat to cease
Patiently waiting for the fishing trip to begin

Author notes

this is a revision of *Splash*. Let me know what you think because i added more detail to it.
Written October 25th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)