u seem so sad with broken wings painted on all your windows
did you forget how to fly or
did you never trying
u seem so sad with your black walls i can see your soul it seems so angry with the rage of a 1000
people
all the happiness rest on our ceiling i can see it the white that has not yet decayed
like your heart
you seem so sad with broken wings painted on all your windows
ill teach you to fly you just have to be willing to learn
you seems so sad all alone but i guess i was wrong cause you just sit there
with your your broken wings
i wanted to take you with me
but i guess i just have to leave you here with your broken wings seeming so sad
maybe i was not good enough
to show you to fly
so you have to sit here with your broken wings and die
soon the ceiling will decay
and that will be your last day
you seems so sad alone in the dark with your broken wings
so I'll leave you with what you've gave me a broken heart.
Author notes
someone not willing to be loved you should never try to love
Written October 24th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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lovely
i liked this, although it was difficult to read... your english is a little rough around the edges and it didn't flow very well, however i liked what it was saying and i liked a lot of the lines. a little tip is to write a poem like this and get all that you want to say onto the page, then go back through it and neaten it up. read it through to see how it flows and whether there are any words missing or any that aren't needed.
overall a very nice piece x lost x -
Great
I love this poem, it's depressing, but amazing. I love the idea of the broken wings painted on the windows, and how you keep trying to help them fly. Someone not willing to be loved you should never try and love is so true, because in the end the broken heart is all you'll be left with. Either they're not willing to love you, or they look right past your love. Great write.
XoXo,
Sara. -
I think it is you and him... your the girl with the broken wings and he is trying to save you and your not letting him save you
i love you babe your the best
and one of my bestfriends
and you have not lost your talent your are a great writer -
I kinda, feel, in a small, huge way, that this is how he feels about me? Do you think so? Because lately I've just become so confused. I dont even know what to do anymore. Today was a good day though. Wonderful really. I love this write stasia. It was so sad. I seem to have lost my talent along the way.
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you seem so sad with broken wings painted on all your windows
ill teach you to fly you just have to be willing to learn
you seems so sad all alone but i guess i was wrong cause you just sit there
with your your broken wings
i wanted to take you with me
but i guess i just have to leave you here with your broken wings seeming so sad
maybe i was not good enough
to show you to fly
so you have to sit here with your broken wings and die
soon the ceiling will decay
and that will be your last day
you seems so sad alone in the dark with your broken wings
so I'll leave you with what you've gave me a broken heart.
I love these lines they are so powerful and full of so much emotion it really inspires me to write another piece because of this one. This was very well written you definely have talent here and done a great job of showing it. GREAT WRITE!!!!
--Trixie
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