I write your name.
the way a child
writes Santa
hopefully- furiously-
Begging.
Your name.
like a priest
writes scripture
reverently- delicately-
Praising.
Name.
like it's
mine-
like we are not;
separate
two entities held apart
by time and space and
the billions of
everything
in between.
I write your name.
like a picture
like a poem-
like one word is all I need
like your name
the name-
alone
is the answer to the question
I've never been asked.
Author notes
Written October 24th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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i know. but the fact that they'd get something back AS WELL as read your poem is just a good concept.. i guess in my opinion.
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your motivation to comment on a piece should come from the fact that you have something to say- not from the fact that you're fishing for people to say things about you.
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i'm likng the way you express things a lot~
one tip that might help is that if in the comments you promise to return a few of the comments that are given to your piece. it might atract more people. me included.
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i love the way you express this feeling- i do the same but i've never been able to articulate it. i especially like the stanza about priests, that really struck me as well as brought the poem to a more profound and spiritual level.
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Very interesting structures, as well as a very discriptive and well thought out peice. I deffinatly agree with HisMajesty in that it emphasizes the feeling of desire and bring forth your lonliness. I see very good work from you in the future, and would be glad to critique anything you would like me too
once again.. Excellent write
Keep penning and keep up the great work,
John
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Read-Worthy
a very personal sounding emotional poem. i like the last stanza the best. the wording and line structure emphazise the feeling of desire and at the same time denote your lonliness. -
I think this is a very well written piece. Very dispriptive and well written. The format is different and this piece is original. You have a good talent. I enjoyed reading this and will defntly be reading more of your work soon.
Keep writting and stay strong.
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If you think this peice is the best then it is, because its writen from your heart. I like the structure you have used its very interesting. The poem to me had a really peaceful and comforting feeling to it i thought. Very good X
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