An irregular heartbeat,
mine broken against hers,
Nights that screech and howl,
that reach into our souls
and solemnize our fears.
there is that.
that hollow spark she hallows,
hides from the rain
blowing sideways
in the nor’easter’s flow.
Wreathed words
as tidy as the clothesline
the backyard Cadillac,
now that Summer’s past
lilacs in the field,
Cast, one petal after another
towards a sweet lass,
for a kiss.
------------------------------
2.
Crooked and bent as I am
by the wheel, she would have me,
it would seem
In her seascape.
It was I who had washed up on the beach
my skin blackened by the sun,
she looks out from under leaves
her fingers touching her dry lips
hesitant
less she should lose the protection
of the wild birds
shrieking in the trees.
on All Saint’s day
there are too many bandits about,
too many thieves who would touch
the queen of cups
tarnished honor,
lies on the beach
and the leaves tremble
in indecision.
-----------------------
In this play there are lovers
grieving with decay
they play with ashtrays
run their fingers over counter tops,
amuse themselves with strangers
and drift away
till the touching fingers part;
insistent the eyes stray
imprisoning the past
in a grey room without exits.
the stage is empty after three acts.
There is no intermission.
Author notes
Written October 23rd, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
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to catch a glimpse of Lisa in autumn,
is so endearing and most sad.. the imagery
in which you cast her is so profound
what a magnificent write!!
thank you for sharing your talent
with us,.
Blessings & Love
Rend
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Superb Plus
'tis a very fine write, indeed, with excellent imagery and you have expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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There are some beautiful phrases here that really paint a picture:
"grieving with decay
they play with ashtrays
run their fingers over counter tops"
and:
"Wreathed words
as tidy as the clothesline"
are especially nice.
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This should be featured. A very melancholic, almost nostalgic feel to this, and yes, leaves me feeling adrift and slightly sad. That ending was perfect. I had to read this over and over. Beautifully done.
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Some of your poems ...
are engraved in timelessness, yet the beauty of real-time at play ...
Love
Myra
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Awesome
This was a really awesome poem, and the story it told was full of twists and turns. Loved it! -
POETRY....beautiful....outstanding.
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loved it. fabulous imagery. nice use of simile with "tidy as the clothesline". i felt as though i could get my mind around this one a little easier than some of your others (my dull mind balks at the overly abstract and those things heavily laden with symbolism and allusions).
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WOw
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on All Saint’s day
there are too many bandits about,
too many thieves who would touch
the queen of cups
Let me give it a minute to resound inside my head..
There. Above stanza really captured my imagination.
I love your Lisa, she's alluring, obscure, yet, she's unaware of the effect she has on the reader. I remember a few months ago, reading about her at a train station, I think. Remarkable only in the fact, that I have a difficult time remembering my own phone number.
Lisa breaks my heart. This work breaks my heart, even if I see the ending is inevitable. You cannot help but hope for better for her.
Captivating as usual, and a pleasure to read..
Take care,
Jin
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Liked the ending - feels as if the play is over and there is nothing that comes afterwards, and nothing in between. Life is more than a drama acted out on a stage - one does not have to follow a script, but can make up their own lines and live the way they want to - choices to prepare what comes ahead. Interesting write.
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Wow
your eally did a great write here. i did so enjoy this read. I am going to enjoy reading more of your poems. I do hope that you will have a great night
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she holds you in a prison in your mind.I suspect you like it there or you would open the gate and leave that place. To each his and her own I guess it makes me sad.
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three in one
that hollow spark she hallows ... 'that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know'
John Keats, Endymion -
the stage is empty after three acts.
There is no intermission.
By afr my favorite lines from this poem. You couldn't quite get my attention at first, but I focused a little more, and got drawn in by the 10th line. I like how the last lines parallel the human lifespan. Ingenious, and i truly think this poem and otehrs like it are why I continue to come back to AP. -
Wow, really different. The poem kept me in and interested in seeing where it would go. I like the story that it told as well.
Great work! -
Can't quite describe...
Very good words, interesting, it has a weird feeling of detachment.. I think I liked it. The last 4 stanzas are great.
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This indeed is brilliant.It sounds so real, I wasn't @ all prepared for the last line.I liked the background too. Your poem has a kind of suspense that I liked.Its a classic for all I know.
Tessa -
I love the way this is structured. Each section is similar in feeling, but so different in its theme and setting.
There are so many lines I loved, I can't quote them all, but what struck me the most was the last two: "the stage is empty after three acts./ There is not intermission." It is almost Shakespearian in its beauty. And I believe it sums up life for many.
There is a real feeling of sadness in this poem, but also of hope at times I thought. Congratulations on a beautiful poem!
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well...if i say something, then the chances are that it has already been said...but yeah, this was beautiful! and the ending - WOW! "the stage is empty after three acts. there is no intermission"...it made me WANT to hear more, but felt so final. great write.
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good poems. good, I dunno waht else to say. who are they from? did you write any of these? No stupid question. feel free to leave a comment. thanx for sharing
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I can't keep up with the reading, but I try.
Lately you've been posting poems that tug at my guts in the most uncomfortable way, as great poetry does. This is one. Ouch ouch - not for the content alone, but for the poetry of it.
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i always come to read here, and get hung up reading the suggestions on your author page. Silly me, those are good this is too. merci
== -
Ah what a good word, floaty. Yes, this does suit me.
Just back ... reading.
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I really enjoyed this and I loved the feelings it stirred inside. I feel all floaty now.
thank you
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This poem is strange, but that isn't a bad thing. I like the first part especially because of the language you use to describe the sound. I love the way this all relates to nature. The imagery is amazing too. What is this poem about???
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I don't like the many bazling comments just to steel points but that's what happens all the time. But I lost Lisa after the first strophe, after that one kiss. Maybe some where under the leafs a last fainting moment. Further I was impressed with the autumn feelings that came along with the poem slightly, tenderly. Well done it had a bit sixties in it.
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You have written great work. It made me imagine many different things all at once. very impressive.
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this is brilliant you have excelled yourself and you didnt even mention penguins buses or poo once which means it lacks a certain something but never mind plop.
but you do write beautifully ...gwyn is a good name to put in a title dont you think so...unusual too -
It'll do Lute
Hell, it's even pretty damned good...and it does have lisa in the title.
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irregular heartbeat *_*
A neat cycle in three plays without intermission: an Act.
Of Love.
Myra
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I think I like this part best:
An irregular heartbeat,
mine broken against hers,
Nights that screech and howl,
that reach into our souls
and solemnize our fears.
there is that.
that hollow spark she hallows,
hides from the rain
blowing sideways
in the nor�easter�s flow.
Wreathed words
as tidy as the clothesline
the backyard Cadillac,
now that Summer�s past
lilacs in the field,
Cast, one petal after another
towards a sweet lass,
for a kiss.
------------------------------
2.
Crooked and bent as I am
by the wheel, she would have me,
it would seem
as she sent sex to my dreams,
In her seascape,
It was I who had washed up on the beach
my skin blackened by the sun,
she looks out from under leaves
her fingers touching her dry lips
hesitant
less she should lose the protection
of the wild birds
shrieking in the trees.
on All Saint�s day
there are too many bandits about,
too many thieves who would touch
the queen of cups
tarnished honor,
lies on the beach
and the leaves tremble
in indecision.
-----------------------
In this play there are lovers
grieving with decay
they play with ashtrays
run their fingers over counter tops,
amuse themselves with strangers
and drift away
till the touching fingers part;
insistent the eyes stray
imprisoning the past
in a grey room without exits.
the stage is empty after three acts.
There is no intermission.
yup.
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Interesting poem, I found it a little dark in places. Keep writing, I liked the characterisation here. Good use of description
All the best
Pozo
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I really liked the title. It drew me in and made me want to read this. And I'm glad I did. It's so abstract and modern in a way that's just amazing. The descriptions, just the way everything was put together. I like this alot.
And the ending was reallyreally good. -
i liked this because it has lisa in the title, and that is my name ^.^ besides that, i love the form and the imagery. this is really unique in terms of style and the wording. great write
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Not bad. Some solid imagery and it flows pretty well - worth the read :-)
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This is really great. I was intrigued by the title, it just sounded so majestic and the poem lived up to that concept. It's simply breathtaking. I really liked this.
Have a dreamy day
~*PointLessOne*~ -
AND
It has LISA in the Title.
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Not only is it a gift to be able to see the vision through the urbane, to show it to others in this way is amazing. This encompasses everything, nature, industrialism, the world of the arcane. Amazing.
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