My life is often a volume of grief
Your help is needed to turn a new leaf
Stiff is my spine and my body is pale
But I'm always ready to tell my tale...
Here I languish in a dankness of soul
Long since confined to this sunless hole
Awaiting my judgment with resigned fate
A moment I take to contemplate
What bitter stroke of fortunes game
Has deigned so cruelly this life to tame
Innocence proclaimed from unyielding eyes
Implacable fury for those I despise
Shackled and cuffed to a prison of mind
Clanks and rattles serve my life to unwind
There is something which is nothing though it has a name
Joins our walks and talks, plays in every game
My shadow protests against impending justice
Unwilling to die is my dark accomplice
Executioners mask is a grimace of joy
Enemies wary of any final ploy
So I am faced with my lynch mob judge
My last chance at freedom doth he begrudge
"Here's your choice though you deserve it not
Pick one swiftly lest in hell you rot:
If you tell a lie we will hang you.
If you tell the truth we will shoot you"
What a tempting selection I cynically thought
And with my answer my life was bought
In the eye I stared him squarely
For then I replied, "you will hang me"
Author notes
This poem is pertaining to the riddle I chose.
My own take on how the riddle can be interpreted.
Hope you like.
Previn
Written October 23rd, 2006
A contest entry
- what's your best? by Silent.enigma.
750 points, ended May 21, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Best!!! by Tomorrows Window.
300 points, ended June 2, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything At All by Heavenly Angel.
26000 points, ended June 9, 2007, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - best everything by sociaL IntollErance.
300 points, ended November 5, 2007, 34 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITES! ROUNDS CONTEST!!! by Luminescence.
525 points, ended March 23, 2008, 176 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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i absolutely love this poem. the rhythm, rhyme. perfect. just all around great. and i love the ending choice. would've been mine
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Unique and finely crafted...
Thank you so much for sharing and for being a part of the contest -
Previn, this is amazing. Not even joking. Your writes are so deep and....I don't have a word for it. I love it a lot! GOod luck in the contest!
<3 Jenerali -
deep
you show amazing talent. and i enjoyed your poem. i wish you good luck in this contest. -
Great 'Ancient Mariner'-style drama and flow, and I love the twist; to get out of being executed like that, very audacious. A fine peom.
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Very nice write.
i like rhythm of the poem too. -
Oh geeze Pevin, what a choice you had! I think I would have got back on the boat and sailed away
A brilliant look at the two evils faced. Delightful rhyme and great flow!
Best wishes in this contest
blessings Sandi
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The flow of this is great. A couple small stanzas of choppy water, but overall I was amazed at what consistency you had in your rhythm. And the ending is amazing. I had never heard that before, but I will certainly have to remember it!
Best wishes,
-Tim -
Good rhythm and rhyme in these lines - Great answer - got what he wanted in the end - the lesser of two evils - but truth.
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Hi
thanks for the feedback, truly appreciated.
Sorry for giving up the riddle though.
Kind regards
Previn -
Hi
thank you for the gracious comments, I am honoured by them.
Its great to meet fellow South Africans.
Thanks for explaining your screen name.
Take care
Previn -
i did enjoy! i love the interpritation and the depth, exactly what i was looking for, (however now i cant give anybody else your riddle, but thats ok) fabulous entree
B&P -
Superb write
Hi Previn and fellow Poet and South African. I have to say that I am in total awe of this poem and being a South African like yourself, my interpretation is probably a lot different than most of what this poem is all about. Your choice of wording is superb, the flow outstanding and wow, what an excellent poem. I totally applaud this poem and hope you win this contest. Baie dankie, also for your kind words on my poem "Sensual Seas" I am a nature lover of note, hence this poem was born. I have a feeling that you think that I am a guy, but I am actually a female!!! lol Sabindi, my screen name means "vigorious" in zulu. Love, hugs and sunny South African smiles. Marilyn
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