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Adradai's Home

Caught between the death above,
And life within this darkness,
She can't help by cry for help
From family lost forever.
Above her head the wooden beams--
They smoke with charred regrets;
The walls are lined in cupboards full,
But no one else is there.
No hope will come from either side,
Though how she cries for aid.
So locked within her shatter house
Is where she'll so remain.
Food and water for many days,
But not more than simply that--
A child lost upon the wings
Of fate and destiny...and death.

Author notes

Adradai, 6. House, O: Locked in a room with someone or something

Locked her in the cellar of her burnt house with plenty of food and water, but nothing to get her out.  I hope that fits for the contest.
-Meri-
Written October 22nd, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • dragondancer
    October 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    My goodness, Meri. I would call this a bit darker than what I would have expected from you. Even more entertaining as that I just finished reading an entry for the exact same character!

    Notes--

    ♥ MatchMaking Specifics:
    Name: Adradai
    Personality: Questionable :|
    Background Usage: Full

    ♥ Scene Specifics:
    Stationary: Closet (aka pantry as a type of closet)
    Description(s): Minimal :|
    Befitting Events: Very

    ♥ Cause Specifics:
    * PoA: Yes
    Expansion on Cause: Some
    Conclusion: Yes

    ♥ Rule Specifics:
    Grammar & Spelling: Good
    Vulgarity: PG 16
    Comment Box: Used
    Prewrite: No
    Contest of 3: Yes

    ♥ Promotion Specifics:
    Required Amount(s): 100 %
    Involvement: All

    ♥: Overall/Personal Specifics:
    Personal Liking: Some
    Personal Disliking: Little
    Personal Confusion: Little
    Personal Boredom: None
    Redundancies: Few
    Overall Basis: Some Alterations
    Overall Appeal: For Fantasy/Poetry Readers Only

    Overall Totalling:
    Hard to make anything like this in a poem. You doing so in so small a space is admirable! Moreover, you managed to make the story easy for me to follow (A very good thing when I'm on hour 22 without sleep )

    *PoA stands for "Point of Action." This is to note whether you have this "cause" in the work.