Darkness all around
I lay motionless within.
I do not know, I do not care,
for my mind is not quite here.
Sleep.
Suddenly, I see the lights.
They are so bright!
Shining all around!
The blue sky, spread all around me.
I stand alone, at ease.
And it is in this "field of dreams" that I realize why they use that phrase.
Falling back, laying out in the green, green grass, I stare to the endless blue.
That's all there is here.
Blue, blue sky and green, green grass.
But then the wind comes.
It whispers in my ears.
"You don't deserve the green grass, for all that you have done."
The sky shudders, and the grass wilts, melts, and finally ignites.
Field of flames and pain surround me, closing in slowly as I stand upright, staring to the sky at a single point of light.
The wind whispers louder now, whipping at my ears.
"You do not deserve the blue sky, for the things you cannot speak."
My legs shake, as the earth quakes.
Dark clouds boil outward from nothingness, filling the blue with darkness.
Surrounded, flames licking at my heels, while dark clouds blow overhead, crowding downward upon me.
I squint, staring still to a very faint point in the sky.
The wind shoves at me, pushing, pulling, struggling, as it speaks to me now.
"Don't you stand! You don't deserve to stand here, for everything you've fallen from."
The ground quakes harder, as the earth shatters.
Dark cracks spread along the burning plain, reaching to me.
I find myself unable to move, to run, but I hold it together.
Even as my hands shake, and my breath trembles, I stare still at the sky.
I cannot feel the ground any longer, as it breaks beneath me.
Fallen, I only have my head aloft now.
Burning flames dancing at my face.
Dark boiling clouds pushing down at my skull.
And the ground I once stood upon, swallowing me up.
That light... I have to keep looking to it... I have to... have...
I blink.
The wind is screaming now, and it laughs, stinging my eyes.
"HAH! You do not deserve to see! Not for all that you have seen already! You don't deserve it! I will not forgive!"
And then it is gone. I see nothing, I feel nothing. Nothing.
Unforgiven.
And like a bad dream, I wake from it.
A sudden shake, twist, and turn.
I sit up in bed, and gasp, staring about.
BUT
I can't see.
It's still dark.
So very dark.
I can't see.
I can't see!
Why can't I see!
...wait.
It's night-time.
It's still dark.
It's dark because the sun is not out.
So I lay back down, and stare into the darkness.
"The sun will be coming soon. It has to."
...but what if it doesn't...?
Author notes
Another piece focusing on my eyes, and my own personal guilts. Not a real dream, to let you know. But a thought nonetheless... I'm finding a real theme coming along, and may just tie in another one... there's a deeper meaning running through here.
Written October 22nd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Interesting sitting in a dream and watching all around you a fateful place we all pass through that point were we are scared where we don't know if we really deserve to go toward that light. The feeling you express is that your not sure if you are deserving to go to were you want or should be. So those doubts take on a form of life and that life is the wind ever moving and changing so it doesn't have a form because it is you. the self destruction that encompasses all that you can not escape from.
~Dragonia~
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Very Nice!!!
Wow!!! I can totally relate!!! You wrote something here that I'm sure many a soul can relate to. It is so hard to forgive ourselves when we screw up. We can carry that guilt around for years!!! Believe me, I know!!! But when we finally do let go of that unforgiveness whether it be for ourselves or someone who has wronged us, then those blue skies will come thorugh and the light will shine through breaking up the darkness in which we have allowed to overtake us for so long. A burden is lifted off our shoulder and we can once again begin to live and walk in the light. You did a great job taking us through this journey!!!I hope if this is written on a personal note for you that the light comes through andbrings forgiveness all around in your situation. If not then you have just written a brilliant pom here!! Keep on writing and sharing..............................Toni -
deep
This is a unique write..it leaves you with a mixed emotions. I enjoyed reading this piece. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Kari -
It's night-time.
It's still dark.
It's dark because the sun is not out.
So I lay back down, and stare into the darkness.
"The sun will be coming soon. It has to."
...but what if it doesn't...?
It is very thought provoking work here bringng the world of the soul of the poet here time and time here bringing the new dimentions of the muse in front of the readers as well..This is not only a very deep work but as well as it is very sharp edged delievries with too and this is the strenth of the expressions of this work..
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well done
A burden or a nightmare? Or both? -
Good
This write tells me that someone is carrying a heavy burden and paying a heavy toll...no need to be punished they are more than likely...punishing themselves more than anyone else ever could. Shamefully, they carry their guilt with them, not all know, some will never know of their deeds. They walk through life right now shouldering the "undeserving" banner, unable to let go and ask for forgiveness...of themselves. More than likely, they will not find the light until they have reached a place of remorse, as only then can they forgive themselves for whatever they have done. You have to own it, learn from it and grow from it. Well, this provoked some rambling from me. I find reads like this intriguing. I don't have to know what the specifics are that provoked the write, the write speaks volumes on it's own... the sign of a good writer...Ohhhh, that's you! Well thank you for sharing this write with us tonight and certainly for allowing me to ramble on...and on! Keep up the good work, you are a talent...
~Tia
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