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Old Lady Wonky




Down in the valley

at the top of a hill

Lived old lady Wonky

dying from the chill


Coal in her deep-freeze

ice thawed for heat

Sock covered fingers

and mittens on her feet


Carpet on her clothes line

laundry on the floor

She'd clamber through a window

to curtain her front door


Tripping up her downstairs

she tottered down for up

Made porridge in her teapot

drank dinner from a cup


Welcomed a good morning

at the dark of night

Wore her flannel night gown

out in broad daylight


Dressed up in her finest

to step out...she'd stay in

Ate a dozen doughnuts

to help her to stay thin


Forgot about her calendar

remembered every minute

Unhappy with her sagging skin

but grateful to be in it


Down in the valley

at the top of a hill

Lived old lady Wonky

dying from the chill


~


Author notes

galfalfa
Written October 22nd, 2006

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 75 of 75

  • Lowell Poe
    November 13, 2008

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    First, you are astute and imaginative,
    the character you have created is wonderful.
    Such serious people here lass...
    I love your happy soul.
    The spacing makes it a joy to read.
    Just loved it little gypsy.

    Lowell Poe


  • xanfus
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    jeez! this is so good! i cannot describe how awesome this is. i want to see this as a children's book!


    • galfalfa gold member
      September 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much, comments like this will surely ignite my muse , i appreciate it

      galfalfa


  • LionSwanLover
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This really ought to be published- it is as good or better than anything in the children's poetry books that are sitting (admittedly unread) on my bookshelves. When my wee ones were wee (they grow so damned fast!) they would have loved this! They'd probably still love it (when no one was looking and they weren't obsessing on being "cool")
    This is clever and whimsical and wonderful


    • galfalfa gold member
      September 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much, really had fun writing this one

      galfalfa


  • ea silver member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hehe cute - has that Old Suzanna kind of nonsense to it with that business of wearing her nightgown out for day and bidding the night good day.

    • galfalfa gold member
      August 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you ea - i cant even remember what it feels like to write anymore, i've lost my muse for the longest time now and mainly concentrate on my photography,

      Loved your comment and appreciate the applause,

      galfalfa


  • storiesuntold gold member
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Too cute

    You have penned this very well


  • Ellis gold member
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I want to tell you how good this is
    While I have another gin fizz
    It is so happy it made me sad
    To have the worst read I've ever had

    • galfalfa gold member
      December 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      LOL..sorry , didnt mean to give you the worst read
      thank you, sure hope it doesnt ruin your whole evening

      gal


  • Princess Perdue gold member
    September 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great entry for the contest..very amusing and gave me a giggle. Very cleverly written with good flow and rhyme. Well done and good luck.

    Shaz xx


  • Sgt B
    September 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very unique outlook

    This to me had an old fairy tale feel to it. Like some of the Brother's Grimm ETC. It brought a feeling of nostalgia to me I thank you for. Very well written, Good luck! Thank you for entering this piece.


    • galfalfa gold member
      September 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hey there,

      thanks! Glad you enjoyed it,


      galfalfa


  • Jillosophy
    April 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I laughed. Outloud. 'Tis funny in a slightly sad way. 'specialy for Old Lady Wonky. Elegant doggerel and masterfully done my dear. I always get the best of the unexpected from you. I'm wondering when you'll be at it again. You need to schedule these flights of fancy so that I may peruse them at my leisure. Well done, galf, well done.

    jill

    • galfalfa gold member
      April 9, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      LOL, thanks Jill, i too i'm left wondering when i will be at it again. My muse tickles me rarely these days,

      Loved your comment and appreciate the applause,

      galf


  • leo2
    April 3, 2007

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    Thanks for the smiles this morning. Just dropped by to say I always appreciate your visits to my pages. Old Lady Wonky was a study in contrast wasn't she?

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long

    • galfalfa gold member
      April 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Glad i could give you smiles this morning Leo..and visiting your pages is not ever left without a great read,

      Loved your comment and appreciate the applause,

      galf


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    February 1, 2007

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    I feel really stupid, this aint' funny, its beautiful , not funny

    well, now that you've had a billion comments onthis little masterpiece that serve as apreface to anything but a comedy, i have to say that this is not funny, it is clothed in humor only by it classic doggerel rythm, but that is what makes this a great counterpoint, like a clown, it appears funny but why would i laugh at any of it, the whole thing i s put together to insure that there is a tragedy that might appear funny to someone who doesn't really quite see through the costume. ,,,galfafan

    • galfalfa gold member
      February 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      a comedy of tragedies

      Oh, so you see through my costume...tragedy disguised as humour eh I'll have to get up earlier in the morning to fool someone like you
      Thanks for the comment and the applasue, glad you liked it,

      galfalfa


  • Dragon Tamer
    January 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Too Funny!

    I'm glad I stopped by I gotta read a few more of these and just maybe my humorous muse will return I loved the story and the rhyming.Thanks for making me laugh.Keep up the great work!
    Don


    • galfalfa gold member
      January 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hey there,

      Thanks for stopping by, loved your comment and so glad you liked this!

      galfalfa


  • Legend silver member
    January 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Galfalfa I can well see why you would be pleased with this one, an excellent bit of backward nonsense The type of poetry that make me realize how wonderful humour is in poetry.A real pleasure to have read Thank you for pointing me in its direction


  • LittleAnn
    January 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for sharing this amazing write, I love how you used all these oxymorons... I love them
    I have written an oxymoron poem as well some time ago... but not as qgood as yours!
    Keep up the fantastic work!
    Annie

    • galfalfa gold member
      January 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much Annie for such a wonderful comment and the applause - glad you liked it!
      Hey i'm going to rate your comment a five, sure hope it goes through...thanks again,

      galfalfa


  • Endeavor gold member
    January 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    You gave me a good laugh

    untill the end

    Wonderfull play on words

    All very clever to deliver

    Rick


    • galfalfa gold member
      January 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Very Good

      Hiya,

      thanks for the comment and the applause - so glad you enjoyed my playing around with words,

      galfalfa

  • June-bug
    January 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding

    Wonderful job, very creative. Gave me many smiles as the images of your words formed the pictures as I read. Very enjoyable.


    • galfalfa gold member
      January 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hi June-bug,

      Thank you for checking out my poem ...loved your comment and appreciate the applause,

      galfalfa


  • Sherry gold member
    January 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was cute but had some sadness to it also but I know you how you mean for things to be on the lighter side she sounds like one backwards lady . Of course we all are right a bit backwards? Like my sleep lol Well if this was reality it be more sad sometimes old people do go down hill... ♥


  • FisherCat
    January 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Fantastically Funny!!!

    The humor is great, but yet it is so true and sad, as this happens all to often when people get old. You have done an outstanding job on this one!!!!!! Best of luck in the contest! and keep that pen flowing!!!!!!


  • Lady Ireland gold member
    January 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a funny poem must have been a bit confusing to write...keeping track... it's the first poem on here tonight that has made me smile so you deserve a good applause.
    Slán dolores.


  • DarkenedAuras
    December 22, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I have read this one before (perhaps I didn't have time to comment on it but I thought it was very comical and it reminded me somewhat of Dr. Suess

  • berekah
    December 14, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    This is so funny and quirky. I love it. I wish I could write humorous poetry as well as you do. There's so much nonsense and confusion in it that it really works well. Reminds me of Mr Men books.


  • HeliumJones
    November 25, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    How Sweet. Yet Sad.

    I enjoyed this poem quite a bit. It's haS a very rhythm. It was interesting and held my attention. The last stanza hit me much harder than the first, and I loved that you could refrain with an impact. It was sweet and sad. Wonderful Job!


  • paperparadox silver member
    November 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is SO much the sort of poetry I love! I think, no matter how sorry or sad someone's life has been, humour is one of life's gifts that we should take and run with for all it's worth. Laughter really IS the best medicine ~ and you, dear galfalfa, have the special ability to bring that about with your lovely light-hearted and funny poetry. Don't ever lose it!

    I'm giving you well-deserved applause for this piece, with big hugs...Lou x


  • Blut Rot
    November 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    Fantastic! I hope I am able to come up with ideas like this. Very humorous. keep up the great work.


  • Sarah957
    October 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    awwww,

    Poor confused old Lady wonky.
    How the people must have stated.
    But this to say of Wonky,
    at least she lived with flare!



    Sarah


  • faderman1959
    October 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    gal this was a great read! You never disappoint me! Always terrific! I must say though the comments and replies you have given and recieved have been great also!

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks Jane - like i was telling you...this is what i thought you were like before i got to know you and by the sounds of it..you are that way
    Funny you should mention woodpeckers - you do know why us dutch people wear wooden shoes dont you? Why, its to keep the woodpeckers off our heads
    thanks for checking this out


    gal

  • oneluckygirl
    October 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I've got to meet this woman for something tells me I've found my soulmate! Would that I could live inside your mind for just a day. I imagine Jonah scampering along the power wheel while you dangle a peanut from a fishing pole. Then there's that other image of a twisted Snow White... being groomed by woodpeckers rather than bluebirds.

    You give me hope, gal, in how you lift us all to your smile.

    hugs and porridge sipping grins,
    Jane

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hiya ..your life is not shit PJ's -..give it some time I think our crap days make us appreciate the good ones more
    Im me if you need to vent or talk - thanks for dropping in and for the applause.
    I've missed you too

    gal

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Ok..let me get this straight - 1. autobiographical 2. insight into your little world. 3. gross incontinence

    and this is what saved your ass ... 23's hardly over the hill!. But i have to be honest here, that's not really my age..i just had a birthday - i'm 24 now. You being my friend - i thought you kept track.

    BTW wasn't it you who said my incontinence was not a problem..that you loved that funny little expression on my face - how it turned all red whilst i strained and grunted, all bent over with my eyes bugging out..you stood there, right along side me..coaching me ..encouraging me by going through the motions.
    You even told me i had Bette Davis eyes....that was all a sham - i probably dont even look good in diapers.

    Hey you could write a poem too if you'd put down your spatula, take off your apron..spend more time on your computer instead of wasting it on unimportant stuff, like the real world.

    Thanks for the applause - you had me laughing with your comment

    galfalfa


    Edited on Oct 24, 1:51 p.m. because 'gross incontinence'.


  • Silky Origami
    October 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I need a smile. I need someone anyone to just smile, give me something to see other than anger, and sadness, and frustration. I need laughter

    My life is shit!
    yeah, it is
    *sighs* ok
    Miss ya sunshine.
    Pj's:0


  • powerslave
    October 24, 2006
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    Wow, I LOVE this autobiographical work - it really is a stunning insight into your little world. I think calling yourself old is a little much though, 23's hardly over the hill! At least though, at least you didn't mention your gross incontinence, I think that would have been too much for even the strongest of stomachs and most certainly too much for the weakest ones. But yeah, you wrote a poem and GOD I'm jealous.

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely loved your comment...eccentric was one of the words that triggered this piece.
    With five brothers ...six sisters - lard sandwhiches brown paper bagged for lunch..socks on our hands too, we'd walk to school. I was teased many times and called poor..i didnt feel that way. My dad was a farm hand at the time and only made 30.00 dollars a week - we never went hungry and we eventually graduated to tuna sandwhiches I dont know if that was such a good thing though - i was so embarrassed when the juices would leak out and make a stain on my lunch bag

    thanks for checking this out and for your applause,

    galfalfa

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    October 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Gal,this is well written and has the intrinsic ability to make the reader smile yet feel saddened at the same time but there again many a true word is spoken in jest is it not?I like the way you revealed Lady Wonkey's foibles in an unjudgemental voice,rather more in a voice of revelation.I know of a character very similar to this and we tend to call her eccentric.The reference to socks for mittens evoked memories from childhood,we were very poor and socks made many diffuculties for me with my peers.Mom used to make us wear socks for mittens,the closest thing to puppets we had were socks with a button sewn on for an eye and it was first up best dressed to find a matching pair of socks,if possible.I f I could only find one knee high sock and one ankle sock in my size my mom just told me to wear them and to roll the knee high sock down,bless her optimistic mother of necessity invention,it made me look and feel ridiculous to have one normal ankle sock and one with a huge,thick cuff! However,I didn't feel sorry for myself just sorry the kids teased me and I felt sorry for another school child who rarely had shoes,when it rained she came to school with plastic bags on her feet and the other kids were so cruel to her,which I never understood as I cried for her,and felt lucky that though my shoes were scuffed I had shoes,sorry for rambling,this provoked a lot of thoughts,well done indeed,a worthy happy clappy chappy for you,love and light,Yvette

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hiya Mr. Puddle Player Hey , you wanna get a tiny sail boat and pretend it's the high seas? I'll make the waves
    Thanks for checking this out..should have thanked you right away but clicked on your name to return the favour. Loved that you loved it thank you,

    galfalfa


  • WelshDragon
    October 23, 2006
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    Haha
    Witty Wacky Wonky stuff.... Great....... Love it....

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 23, 2006
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    Sweet and sour duck with fuckin gravy...hmmmmm - fuckin gravy- what flavour is that? Introducing our new Fuckin gravy - low in fat and so easy to prepare you'll exclaim " No fuckin way!" Yep, it's fowl folks
    Seriously though, I've never eaten duck - i guess the sweet and sour wasnt giving off enough flavour - whenever my spices or sauces don't work - its pass the ketchup
    Thanks Jamie - loved your comment! ♥♥♥


    gal


  • JamieG
    October 23, 2006
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    Outstanding

    LOL you make I laugh, reminds me of my batty mother, she's the crazy sort that makes sweet and sour duck, yes duck! and if that wasnt bad enough serves it on a bed of rice, and wait for it! with fuckin gravey!, is it just me? or is that not a winning combination! LOved this poem more than chocolate! love you too xxxx

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL...i think she's going mad from too much time alone - like me I love odd people..who choose to do things out of the norm in their own way. One fine example would be my mom - when i used to live in an apartment...i'd take my laundry to one of those coin laundry mats - she came with me to keep me company ..plus it wasnt a safe neighborhood.
    So i said to my mom - Here, you open this box of detergent while i start sorting my clothes. I never thought anything of it until i went to grab for the box - i broke out laughing. She opened the box like a maniac...there it was, sitting on the table like a peeled banana..all four corners of the box peeled midway down. We dont need no stinkin perforated peel back or push in tabs
    Loved that you enjoyed this Michelle - thank you


    gal


  • heartnsoul
    October 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!!!

    Well now this is more than a delightful step out of the norm. Done with humor and such eloquence and grace. I loved it! You've told a wonderful story with the feel of an old nursery rhyme. Your graphic just sinches that feeling! For me I think this leaves the reader guessing, is she really lonely and confused? Or does she do silly things to add interest to her day simply because she can. From the antic's that take place she is not on her deathbed. Having given my children backwards birthday parties so I do relate to the element of fun there is in doing this. It keeps people on their toes. And many elderly get a certain tickle out of doing just that. Yes it is very sad when it is happening for real.
    Bravisimo!!!! Encore!!! I stand in hearty applause, cheering loudly!!
    ~Michelle~
    Edited on Oct 23, 10:41 because ''.

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You're right - i felt it too when writing this - its been my mood of late...I was going to twist up the last stanza instead of repeating the first -
    Down in the valley
    at the top of the hill
    Died old Lady Wonky... But i didnt want to put that much of a downer on us all
    Thanks for checking this out and for your applause,

    gal


  • Unca Goat gold member
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    gal, this is indeed humorous, but also has a sadness about it. So many older folks do go through terrible times when their memory starts to fail. This write has me stuck between laughing and crying due to the truthful undertones you have penned.

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Ian - no i havent met your mum - wish i knew a few old ladies like this
    Loved your comment and thanks for the applause,

    galfalfa


  • galfalfa gold member
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hey Thanks for checking this out - glad you enjoyed it


    galfalfa

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, you are indeed lucky to still have your parents Thanks for checking this out and for the applause ..appreciate it!


    galfalfa


  • galfalfa gold member
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Tammy - so glad you appreciate madness Glad you liked it

    galfalfa

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 22, 2006
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    Hiya cutie pie The confusing part was done on purpose..if i made it clearer it'd probably be a tad boring
    thanks for checking this out


    galfalfa


  • Twinstar
    October 22, 2006
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    Cute write!!! I thought it was quite humerous, alot of older people do develope a sence of humer anyway, thats what keeps them going, I know because I'm lucky enough to still have my parents who are 88 and 86 yrs old... I liked this alot

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I love nonsense and confusion ..hope it didnt give you a headache but glad you liked it Started it about a year ago and never got around to finishing it. Thanks for your comment..loved it!

    galfalfa

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL Vonnie...don't look so shocked - it tried to turn naughty on me but i kept it clean and NO farting
    thanks for checking this out - loved that you liked it


    gal


  • rufina caraid gold member
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a different path you've taken with this Gal and I like it very much (not a fart or innuendo to be seen or heard) . "Forgot about her calendar" stanza is just lovely - relishing old age, knowing she doesn't have long but happy for her life. I like that - it's funny with a positive message.
    Vonnie



  • danceswithdaisys
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    like it.

    It's pretty. but a bit sad. I don't know. Aging for seems like not such a negative thing as most elder people make it out. I mean yeah, by societies standards you may have lost your beauty and things are a lot harder to do. But to me it sort of represents having lived a long and wonderful life. I think that it is lucky to get to see old age becuase many people aren't luck enough to live that long. This is very pretty and i quite like it!

  • Mysticalwarrior
    October 22, 2006
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    This is a very unique poem. I love the beat and the rhyme in the first stanza. Despite, the fact you didn't use much words in each line the message and action comes out quite effective. A little confusing on some parts, perhaps change some of the words to make it a bit clearer?

  • acytra
    October 22, 2006
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    Cool write!! I love the image that you chose for this write. Especially like the way you kind of did the opposite affect here and there. I like that. Confusing a bit, but read deeply and you'll get it....great write!!


  • LadyUnique silver member
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this was a fun read
    it was a challenge for me because i have cognitive issues due to MS so i had to really think as i read this. everything is backwards or opposite of the way it should be. i would have had a heck of a time writing this i'd be confused for days
    good writing


  • Tam
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Delightful

    Oh my goodness! This is a delightful read!
    What a wonderful romp through madness you have penned here.
    Very charming from start to finish. I'm glad this was featured so that I may have the chance to witness your talent.
    Thanks for the smile this evening! LOL
    Blessings! Tammy


  • chasingtheday gold member
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i see you have met my mum then she's such a dear, but i think i will ask her for my mittens back for my feet are getting cold spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...

  • agatha7
    October 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    KOOLIO!

    GREAT WRITE! I may be heading towards being old lady wonky 2 LOL

  • oliviola
    October 22, 2006
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    I bloody love this. That's my kind of woman.

    Nice background. Gave me a giggle.

  • galfalfa gold member
    October 22, 2006
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    Thanks for checking this out Leo and for your applause - I'm odd yes but i'm not that far gone yet..give me 30 years

    galfalfa

  • leo2
    October 22, 2006
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    What a pleasant read for me this morning. A study in contrast the Lady Wonky is. I wonder is the author is much the same?

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long

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