The sky outside is wet and dark,
Rain hits a dog as it begins to bark.
The trees shake with falling leaves,
As the child at the window sits and grieves.
Dad is inside, working at the table,
Mom is telling us her best fable.
Sitting in front of a blazing fire,
Wrapped up in winter's warmest attire.
The clouds move and the rain breaks,
As snow falls, in white little flakes.
The kids stare in wonder at the disappearing ground,
As the winter season comes right around.
Author notes
I got bored and the weather was inspiring.
Written October 21st, 2006
A contest entry
- My first year on AP by forever dreaming.
450 points, ended June 17, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Interesting imagery but I found it slightly hard to read with the black against blue background. Many thanks for entering .
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cute, good poem! I love winter. GOOD JOB!!! Thanx so much for your entry.
~Kizzy Kat -
This is a very cute poem! Grammar needs a few things, but I think that the way the poem is read, as if told from a kid, it just kinda fits. Good job
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a few grammer foux pas (sp?). "Mom is telling us..." doesn't need a comma. "Wrapped in winters:" winter is possessive, should have and apostrophy. "The kids stare..." the first comma deffinately isn't needed, the second is questionable. Aside from those, pretty good. Iambics could use some work, but doesn't need it.
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