This October night wanes eerie
ink stained clouds caress the moon
as a watercolor murky
sponged by hand o're palette spoon.
Thunder rages in the distance
as two beasts about to charge,
but our stranger seems in balance
with clinging eeriness at large...
With lantern tucked away from sight
yet, his silhouette is etched in spite
of careful measures to ensure
his stealth from those who dwell on shore.
But Billy's ears aren't scared of thunder.
Restless now with eyes of wonder,
peeking out to dismal bay,
spots the silhouette, and whispers, 'nay...'
'It cannot be. He's just a myth!'
But Billy's eyes now clearly see
him coming and it seemed forthwith
from out the bowels of stormy sea.
The phantom stands on landing tall
extinguishing his lantern's wick,
and Billy rushes down the hall
cries, 'Daddy, mommy, come here quick!'
The lights flip on around the house
when hearing voice of one a mouse
shout out for once as if he's harmed,
all are awake and much alarmed.
Their hurried feet run 'cross the floor
trip over Bill crouched by the door,
his face an ashen shade of pale
from true felt fright he can't curtail.
'What is it Bill?' his father cried
as mommy picked him up to hold.
He clings to her and tries to hide
his face within her bathrobes fold.
'He's out there dad!' then pointed out
the window by the front door's mouth.
'Down by the landing!' Bill did shout
'Come up the trail from Bayside south!'
Perplexed, dad asked, 'Bill, who is he?'
While, Billy rocked on mother's knee.
Then peering out the window's glass
dad thought he saw a shadow pass--
Across the yard and up the drive,
he's getting close; will soon arrive--
Dad flipped the switch then all went black
and Billy whispered, 'Phantom's back'
Drumming heartbeats skipped and froze
when hearing doorknob turn and click,
most horrid stench had now arose
to cause their stomachs feeling sick--
Reflexes null, then none could breathe
as door swung open quietly,
except for one who slipped from knee
whom hid from sight so stealthily
and clamped his hands as tight could get
to block out screams of family's threat.
But heard them none the less he did
as each had fallen, life was rid...
In silence; tears had flown and flown
until he knew not sun had shone,
they found him laying in the space
behind the sofa's saffron lace.
The years have numbered one to ten,
not much has changed to now from then--
When ink blot shadows claim the sky,
October's eve comes flashing by
to one within asylum's glow
upon the hill from rippling shore...
You'll see him rocking to and fro
whispering, 'Phantom's back for more....'
Author notes
Already then, here is my haunting write for Halloween, I hope you enjoy!
as per rules "Hikaru"
In a list
A contest entry
- Show AND Tell! Image contest with a twist!! End date extended by request!! by DK akaLunaticSerene.
650 points, ended November 14, 2006, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #132 Celebrating 50 Gold's by daviscth.
450 points, ended September 9, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hallows EVE Anniversary! by Kappa Pyua.
2100 points, ended October 31, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
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It's true that I like rhyme. I did like this story, except that it was hard to follow in the beginning. It didn't flow very well. The reversing of end rhyming ever other line to every line, I think that maybe what it was. I've never seen it done before. It's interesting, is it a form?
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hi kappa,
the form is a simple octave which I alternated on purpose for the tone of each stanza. probably shouldn't have, but the muse was being creative
I appreciate your thoughts.
blessings, Sandi
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Well, this sure gave me the creeps and I'm really glad it isn't dark here. Yet.....
Thanks so much for your entry.
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Chillin'!!!!
Excellent tale of fright! Loved the rhythm and flow of this piece! Well done! Thanks for entering and good luck!
xxoo
dk
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Thank you!
I haven't written a spooky tale in a long time, this was really a fun one to write Thank you once again for your great thoughts, I truly appreciate it 
Blessings Sandi
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Well Sandi,you sure laid on a feast with that one, I'm glad I had all the lights on while I was reading. Although I thought it was a bit cliched in parts it took nothing away from the final effect. Gripping, well done and good luck in the contest. Val
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Yup my pixie heart has a wee dark side as well!
Thank you for your great thoughts hon, I appreciate the read!
smooches back at ya!
blessings feather
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Nice One Feather Goblinweb. This is the kind of poetry that I want to read on Hallows Eve, with the lights out curled under a blanket feeling my body shivering, not from cold but feom fear that I shall be the phantom's next victim.
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! IT'S HIM!!!!!!
(whew, just the curtain flapping in the wind...or is it?)
smoosh, before he gets me.
Edited on Oct 21, 10:07 p.m. because ''. -
Awww
thank you ever so much for your kind thoughts lightwing, I truly appreciate it 
And a very warm welcome to AP! I promise to pop by to do some reading from your shelves in the next day or so..for the moment it's 3:30am and I must go snuggle with my pillow..I never know when the next story is going to pop in my head 
Many blessings! Sandi
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You're a true storyteller. You had me captivated and intruiged as to what would happen next. An eerie story that seemed to combine both mystical and modern themes told with a lovely flowing poetic feel.
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Thank you Titia! Hermi kept the coffee coming the the fingers kept clicking the keys
Many blessings my friend Sandi
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Hi Amie, it's nice to meet you Thank you so much for stopping by to read my work today and for leaving your wonderful thoughts behind, I truly appreciate it!
And I sure will keep penning, it keeps me sane
many blessings Sandi
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Thank you Kari! I appreciate the read and your great thoughts left behind Blessings Sandi
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Hi Stingray, the poem was written using the picture shown on top for the inspiration. I'm pleased your enjoyed this, thank you so much for your great thoughts!
many blessings Sandi
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Thank you Yvette, I truly appreciate your kind thoughts and encouragement on this piece
many blessings Sandi
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Hi Rambler, I'm pleased you enjoyed my little tale, thank you so much for your time spent reading my work and for your great thoughts left behind, I truly appreciate it
blessings Sandi
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Hi punkr..geeze, I guess you should send me the bill since I was the cause of that delemna Thank you so much for stopping by to read my work and for leaving your gracious thoughts behind, I truly appreciate it
And a very warm welcome to AP! I'll be over in just a little while to peek at your reading shelf, have a great weekend!
blessings Sandi
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Ah, well then I am much obliged to Laura I'm pleased you enjoyed the write, thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and for leaving your great thoughts behind, I truly appreciate it
blessings Sandi
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I'm impressed Sandi, wonderful story you wrote here.
~Titia~
Edited on Oct 21, 1:37 p.m. because 'typo'. -
This poem is a concentration of all the things I fantasize about. You describe a world that would be perfect for me to live in, that I would enjoy to no end. The content is key, the flow and rhyme scheme are pleasing beyond measure, and the overall effect the poem has on the reader is what every poet should strive for. Excellent job.
Keep quilling,
-Amie -
excellent
Gave me the chills, made me think of the Grim Reaper. -
deep
This is incredible! Beyond incredible! You've done a wonderful job hun. The very best of luck to you in the contest.
BB,
Kari -
This was quite a tale. I loved the rhythm in the reading. It keeps you going at a quick pace. It is somewhat suspenceful. I absolutely loved the picture. Germany is a great country indeed. Famous for the Brothers Grimm tales born in the Black Forrest. I wonder if you found a picture to fit your story, or invented the story from the picture? Anyway, it was amazing.
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A very well written piece,this spun a yarn with atmosphere,imagery and emotion.Well done indeed,wishing you good luck in this contest,love and light,Yvette
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Laura, you've made mine as well in a VERY BIG WAY, Thank you!! I truly appreciate the time you've spent reading and leaving your gracious thoughts behind!
many blessings Sandi
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This was just superb in every way. Heck, I felt like a kid reading it. The dark picture already set the stage for expectation and you never disappointed at any point. It was not just a poem but a story. Very nice.
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I agree this was very spooky and very well written. good luck in the contest
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Bravo!Bravo! Encore!
*shudders* whoa! that was the creepies thing I have ever read, and believe me, I read some pretty creepy stuff! my nails are going to have to be sergically removed from my thigh now... Bravo!!!
Edited on Oct 21, 10:59 because ''. -
There I was, just about to log off when... Laura (Sweetpearl, with the comment up above mine) tells me to read this because it's brilliant. So here I am, and this I like.
Hehe, I love stories like this. I can picture this like a scene from a movie with little Billy there looking possesed as he whispers to his parents. Creepy. And I loved the ending of this
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This is the beginning of a great epic - I am sure you could keep writing and writing, adding to and changing the story as needed. Wonderful picture, and a great interpretation of this with the words you have written. Very visual, images flowing throughout the write.
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This is so brilliant and I doubt the way I feel about this writing could be put into words ... at least words to justify it. It sounds like something I would have read in a Halloween book. This should be published, my friend, and fast. The flow was incredible and you used such insanely good rhymes. AH this is damn good poetry.
"Then peering out the window’s glass
dad thought he saw a shadow pass--
He flipped the switch then all went black
and Billy whispered, “Phantom’s back…”"
--tickled down my back ... spooky.
Congratulations, you officially made my day. -
i'm not much of a fan of rhyme and the center format, but quite a nice lil' tale you did tell .... this was fun, thank you, much enjoyed this read .... 'cheers'
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oh jeebus oh jeebus BRAVO BRAVO
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thank you sharon, I love you too sweetie!
mama
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Lady A your thoughts are so appreciated hun they make the effort so worth while! Thank you!!
love and blessings Sandi
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Thank you Legend! I'm so please you enjoyed this, it was a pleasure to write for this contest, the pictures are FANTASTIC!
blessings Sandi
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SPOOKY :s get the relings when i was reading it .
i now just that you going to win a trophy becaus this is one af your very menny best poeme
love you sharon. -
Phew Sandi the nails dig into the palms reading this one a wonderful flowing piece that did so well accompany the image posted.No wonder poor Billy is see rocking back and forth how would not be so effected by such images Well done Good luck in the contest
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wow!
Wow! indeed I did enjoy it! the suspense it so well created. The pathetic fallacies are perfect and you are truly a genius at writing! Your style is perfect and your rhymes flow like ripples of the water... Excellent piece, fantastic! And very Halloween moodish!
Great go, good luck!
Lady anairO
Artiste.
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