Picture: 'Fallen Angel' by Oskaline
For years I suffered through you
Always beating me black and blue
I finally found the beast in me
No longer wish to turn and flee
(chorus) Do it baby, raise that hand
Do it baby, get up and stand
Grab the belt and make me bleed
Force me down to eat your seed
With that blow I splintered your bones
Hammering 'till I killed the groans
I left you bleeding on the floor
Never looked back walking out the door
(chorus) Do it baby, raise that hand
Do it baby, get up and stand
Grab the belt and make me bleed
Force me down to eat your seed
I stopped you dead in your track
With one strike I broke your back
Skin and bones will be found one day
A stinking festering heap of decay
(chorus) Come on baby, raise your hand
Come on baby, get up and stand
Belt me again until I bleed
Come on baby, raise your hand
Come on baby, get up and stand
Belt me again until I bleed
From your grip I'm finally freed
©dutch2lips
Author notes
http://allpoetry.com/images/ext/Item/2292/993.jpg
Picture: 'Fallen Angel' by Oskaline
Written October 21st, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Write me a world, write me a rhyme, write me a tale of yours and mine. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
400 points, ended December 19, 2006, 34 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I've Exposed Your Lies... Dark Contest.. by Nymphetemine.
400 points, ended March 10, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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This was an amazing write. Thank you...
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thank you for the contest and bronze
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I think this is a brilliant write!! Full of meaning, anger and frustration... Also, justice! I love the rhyming of the chorus it's really good. Actually sounds like something i'd write, but there we go
It's really meaningful thanks for submitting and good luck in the contest.
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thank you !!!
I take that as the highest compliment ever seeing I had never written lyrics before and for you to compare my writes to your own is mindblowing
thank you!!
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I don't mind swearing, as long as it's not over the top swearing if you know what I mean... Anyway thanks for sharing... love allways like I always do... I will read properly later... Thanks.
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Thank you for taking the time to read and reply
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Thank you for taking time to post a comment ICUlookn!
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Thank you Manda for taking time to read and comment!
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Thank you for taking time to read and especially to comment!
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The imagery show a sense of deep sadness and the ultmiamte feed up mood of not aboutto continue taken the abuse anymore! Bless onyour penning...
Great title equally well picked background .. Thank you for allowing the reading..
ICUlookn -
dutch2lips~
Hey! This is a really good piece, a lot of anger I see. Really good for first attempt at lyrics. Keep on Keeping on.
~!~Manda~!~ -
the anger and glory of ultimate revenge runs through this entire poem. that's a good thing. it's like these lyrics shout out loud what every abused woman wants or has thought about doing. the words are brutal but then so is abuse
my opinion is this is good. i wouldn't change a thing 
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Thank you so much sister!!
My love to you
Anne -
the picture shows deep sadness and pain
(thou a bit scary, image that will haunt you)
the chorus i love...
powerful stanza
overall brilliant piece
def. a success
love you -
Thank you for taking time to read and comment, very much appreciated by me!
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Thank you Lisa, it means a lot to me you find this song worthy of an applaud and comment!
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Thank you for taking time to read and comment Lady Altheia!
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Thank you Deiago!!, I am so pleased you liked it!
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you and me both girlfriend
thank you so much Linda
my love to you sweety -
Thank you SadPoet, sweet comments and even sweeter applaud
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Thank you so much for your kind comment daeste!
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Thank you so much sis, I was very hesitant because I had never written lyrics before, still dont know what it takes really, Thanks for your never ending support my dear!
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Tell It Like It Is
Very raw and smacks you right between the eyes. Very good lyrics and the chorus is up front and honest. Makes me shudder. Strong and brutal. -
Love that picture so much give great depth to the write. Those blue eyes of sad and pain (Lisa)
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Amazing Grace My God Always give us strenght
Wow so powerful and sad. People think they have the right to hurt others. And that one will never fight back and get tired of being hurt. Such a heartfelt poem its a outstanding piece really I applaud you sincerely (Lisa)
"Do it baby, raise that hand
Do it baby, get up and stand
Grab the belt and make me bleed
Force me down to eat your seed"
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Hmmm, the content is disturbing but it needs to be said or sung in this case. I am no lyricist either. I could imagine this song as a heavy metal. Good luck to you in the contest.
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My god!!!!! The amount of emotion you put into this piece was out standing. Talk about making a point in a song. Really well done girl loved it
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Excuse me you folk out there who may read this comment (block your ears OK)
Holy Shit Girlfriend this is one hellova a great write from the guts of your being Spit on it and smear it into the ground
A friend will stand by you through thick and thin...
A good friend will help you bury the body
Excuse me folks I just hate that!!!!
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Wow, I could hear this on a CD. I'd buy it. I loved it, the storyline in it, a bit dark, brutal, but hey...that's Metal....Hell Yeah !!!!!
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Well Done
Powerful is right! Chilling in some ways, terrifing and at the same time empowering. -
Well, I am not a lyricist by any means, but I found this powerful. This is something like what my daughter's band would write, so I believe there is a market out there for this type of lyric, I think you did fabulous for a first attempt, but I am not surprised, you're a great writer sis
Adding your comment:
1 - 31 of 31
5 old applause
