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A Kingdoms Folly


 

Ah! my friend, you look weary from your travel,

please sit a while and let your worries slowly now unravel.

What's that you ask, do I know what happened to this place?

Tis a Story sad but true, that transcends both time and space.

 

The ruins where we sit, where once a fortress stood, 

where nobles trod upon this stone devoted to doing good.

For thousands of years the guardian of us all,

until a clever enemy plotted it's eventual fall.

 

King Sirus, had lead the house, for nearly all his life,

now old and frail he's missing the queen his loving wife.

There love for each other was known throughout the land,

but sadly, she had slipped away, while the king held her hand.

 

The court was in turmoil, young prince now with muscle to flex,

while the king drifted between this world to the next.

The court was full of advisers, all keen to help the prince,

but some had selfish plans, their treachery, would make you wince.

 

One such lowlife, whose name I shall never forget,

a Dralon scum by the name of Gob, was an unknown threat.

Convinced him that a union with a princess from the west,

would create an alliance to suit the kingdom best.

 

I'm sure the king would like to see his son in married bliss,

His kingdom sound and stable before he enters life's abyss.

His evil tongue twisted, the princess heart towards this plan,

Created by the Dralon king to over throw this land.

 

And so a meeting was arranged and soon a wedding planed,

The king so week he could not see the evil now at hand.

The Princess was coached by the king her evil dad,

to plunder this kingdom for all the wealth it had.

 

The wedding was a grand event, with nobles from around the globe,

no expense had been spared to create the royal robe.

The feast went on for hours but in the chamber of the king,

King Sirus drew his last breath as to life he could no longer cling.

 

The Prince was at the table, when they whispered into his ear,

And Sadness drew across his face but he did not shed a tear.

At Gobs suggestion while the guests were still in place,

the Prince his kingdom he should now embrace.

 

 

So after the burial while all were gathered still

the prince was crowned as king, two birds did they kill.

The New King still saddened by these events of life,

listened foolishly to Gob and his new queen and wife.  

 

 

Send your armies to the south, our borders there are week,

The King of Kalags is a drunkard bore and a cheat.  

If that is what you advise, so be it said the king,

and the armies that protected him left for Kalags springs.

 

King Nor of Kalags took offence and considered it an attack.

and sending all his forces ordered them to fight back.

And these armies faced in battle while no reason was in place.

The bloodshed and the carnage, was catastrophe and disgrace.

 

Meanwhile to the west the Dralon king led his army across this land,

the queen commanded the gates be opened all part of what they planed.

There was no mass resistance, no army's left to defend,

they plundered, raped and pillaged under the guise of a friend.

 

The palace now in ruins, filled with the stench of death,

a smell I fear still lingers worse than dragons breath.

The Queen and Gob returned with the Dralon King,

I can still hear their laughter, as they recounted their sting.

 

What's that you ask what happened to fated King,

who put his faith in evil and lost every single thing.

Well he is destined to walk these ruins, reliving every day,

and recounting these events, to all that pass this way.

 

 

Author notes

Cat/2 Midnight Jam Session
Written October 19th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • spideracer gold member
    June 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow! That's really good

    Every stanza is so powerful and inspirational, like the way you join every line in rhyme. That's sheer magic and gives me a few ideas about what I can do with my own poetry. Presentation is what I'm talking about here. For me personally that's very inspiring. Well done and will read more from you when I can.


  • Amera gold member
    June 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely think this is wonderful. Your story telling gift is captivating. Your voice and accent is enchanting, I could listen to you all day.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Sandi Alford gold member
    November 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I came back for seconds, and I'm glad I did, your audio was a fabulous touch! I truly enjoyed having this read aloud
    Best wishes once again! Blessings Sandi


    • Cyber Artist Moderators member
      November 28, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Goodness Sandi you are a glutten for punishment but I am glad you enjoyed the tale Thank you for comming back
      Paul


  • DK akaLunaticSerene gold member
    November 17, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Now That's Entertainment!

    You get huge kudos for the incredible addition of the audio production! That was fantastic! There are a few spelling issues like "there" where it should be "their" and "are" where it should be "our". I'm still in the process of scoring and will be touching in on all entries again if you want to proof read and make those little corrections, I have to in good conscious take those things into consideration, and I'm delighted with this piece! Thanks for entering and good luck!
    xxoo
    dk

    • Cyber Artist Moderators member
      November 17, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      lol went to fix the edits you suggested and lost the poem its not supposed to happen to MODs stamps feet and rolls around having a hissy fit!!!


  • Legend silver member
    October 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    An interesting story I like the way you used the young king as the narrator to this piece A very imaginative write A couple of comments have pointed out a number of errors in the spelling ,So unless you miss them and need the pointing out I won't post here Good luck in the contest


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    October 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks liquid I even found others I'd missed I specialized in gibberish English is a second language


  • liquidmindforever
    October 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting and captivating piece.
    Please check your spelling on:
    "through" throw
    "planed:
    planned
    Blessings,
    Liquid

  • Sandi Alford gold member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    That's what happens when 'we practice to deceive' poor bugger, he didn't have a chance with an evil dad and scheming wife!
    Great job!

    Best wishes in this contest Blessings Sandi


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Bob 42
    Thank you for your comment


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Heartart
    Thank you for commenting


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wee Beastie
    Thank you for your comments


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    pixxiepoetess
    Thank you for your comments


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    TJ Casser
    Thank you for commenting

  • Bob 42 silver member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful, and I know you have 'planned' to check your spelling.


  • Heartart
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely wonderful and the pic just as wonderful thanks for sharing this with us a great treat to read this....


  • Wee Beastie
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    two paws up

    this is a very very good stroy
    tis it is alsome
    good luck in the contest

    ~~Chef W.B.


  • pixxiepoetess
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You have a great story here, but you may want to check your spelling in a lot of places. You used 'week' instead of 'weak' and 'army's' instead of 'armies', and so on. Proofreading is always an asset But it's a great story. Best of luck in the contest! --->pixxie<---


  • TJCasser
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. It's nice to see folks working on the pseudo-epic form again... (or, insomuch as it's not just me...)

  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Di thank you for that I’m sure would love to read your take on the picture if you write one IM me please You are soooo good at these and write soooo eloquently

  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Von
    Thank you for the comment I did write a cross piece from the angle of the Dralon king but I didn’t want to make it too long and frighten people....

    Edited on Oct 20, 6:36 because ''.


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you lightwing for the typo pick up I spent to much time looking at this to see them and for the comment


  • masterblaster gold member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, very nice narrative, I have this pic but have not used it yet,lol, and another two by same artist I believe, I ewnjoyed this write very much, all the best Di


  • rufina caraid gold member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I've always enjoyed your audio work Paul as you know and this is no exception. A wonderful story, Fantasy is certainly the correct category. I think to this could be continued into a sequel too,
    Gob is my favourite character as I'm told I have a big one
    Well done Paul
    Von

  • lightwing
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Another typo I noticed: 'lead his army' - is led his army
    A great poem. I've always liked this style and I think you've done it really well-good story line, flowing rhythm and you have brought the characters to life very easily.


  • orionrising
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I am enthralled by this piece. Enchanting. It took me off to a faraway place. Loved the story behind the poem. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest.

    J

  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Im sure theres some great advise here if I could only understand your sentences but thanks for commenting.
    Edited on Oct 20, 4:27 because ''.


  • Previn
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Great stuff. I think Anarchy has a point but for me that still didnt detract from a most fascinating story. I really felt like I was at the movies, so you have fulfilled the requirements of the brief quite well.
    Adding the audio clip to it was a great idea, it really enhanced the work and also provided greater insight to the poetic vision. I could really 'see' the story while listening to the captivating words.
    Very imaginative, bravo!
    Keep up the good work poet.
    Kind regards
    Previn


  • Master Anarchy
    October 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Perchance entranced.

    I would I could have listened to it. In reading it I believe the number of syllables thereof wavered, which made sustaining any entrancement settling in my mind difficult. And it held such for me; for all the image may have helped set the scene.
    (Addendum: I was unable to use audio feature on my puta. Reading it silently to myself I noticed that, because the syllable count wavered, the rhytm that may otherwise have become established in my brain (sic) was disrupted.
    When I first began writing poetry I used to, and still do sometimes, count out the number of syllables using my fingers. The point is to get used to such an important factor, not be bound to using it: meter depends on it, as well as rhyme (where meter may change. eg. The range of meter tends to peter out when you do not shout out about what it is your bizz is: range against the machinations of poetic peregrinations lest flock of doves belies).
    Edited on Oct 20, 8:13 p.m. because 'Lack of comprehension by the author'.


  • Granny Goose silver member
    October 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this was great, and I listened to it as I read it, a super job all the way around. You've woven a most fascinating tale into wonderfully poetic words, Paul.

    Great job, I wish I could applaud more than once I should read more of your poetry, your so good at writing it

    And the picture is awesome.

    Good luck in the contest


    Dee
    Edited on Oct 19, 8:43 p.m. because ''.

1 - 31 of 31