Shall we at close of day put chores aside,
Or languish at a lack of prospects new;
If only would attention spans abide,
Then futures would, with twisted hands askew,
Perhaps fall into place around the bend,
Or else go drifting off for all of time,
So circling, would never reach an end.
(I'd never have to form that final rhyme.)
And with this smooth continuation we,
With all of our smart playthings in our hands,
Would soon produce, as often all agree,
The greatest things seen ever in the land!
Alas! for all that hoping comes undone,
When minds drift off on tangents like this one!
Author notes
Written October 19th, 2006
A contest entry
- BATTLE OF THE SONNETS---ROUND 1 by mamad.
400 points, ended June 3, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Wow, you have been busy submiting sonnets I see. Lots of unique themes going on. ha! And thank you for visiting my lil sonnet. All my best,
Belle
-
Oh! No tangent at all. I followed this with every breath. A beautiful sonnet Poet. Your words ring like a song and I actually relate to every one. I have such a task with iambic pentameter but YOU, you seem to be able to feel the beats. This is very well executed. Excellent! I wish you the very best in the challenge. I would enter but as I said, I have a mute ear for the rhythm and meter. LOL Good luck!
Much Love ♥
Renee
-
buggirl,
Thanks a lot for this lovely entry.I appreciate it a lot.
joss -
Daniel is right, this has subtle humour which stands the sonnet form on its end. Nicely written, not bad meter.
-
I certainly like the whimiscal nature of this one, and it flows quite well in most places, though the sentences get a bit long and complex. Yet the smile shines through!
While drifting off on tangents, let us read
your meaning clearly... and will all due speed.
Lightly, Daniel
Edited on Oct 20, 11:02 because 'typo'.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
2 old applause
