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If I Were Famous

I wish I were famous.  Hey, it would be great.

Every single model I’d try to impregnate.  

I’d get married for maybe a week and go.

And of course at some point I would date J Lo.

I’d crash a new Porsche every month or two.

And say, “I’m not drunk.  I only had a few.”

You know I’d always get away with any crime.

My team of lawyers would get me out of time.

I’d seethe and rant about politics and war.

Of course being rich makes me know more.

I’d punch a guy out for taking a picture of me.

I’d love to sign autographs, but never for free.

I know it’d be a tough life, but I could handle it.

Of course if it gets to hard, I’ll just throw a fit.

Author notes

Written October 19th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 85 of 85

  • jimek
    February 27
    Edit | Reply

    Funny

    Of course being rich makes me know more.They think so huh.


  • Loveberry
    January 29

    Edit | Reply
    Lmao such sarcasm and humor throughout! love your message- you may think you're better, and some bits of society may even agree, however we know better... maybe someday they'll learn. great work!


  • carebear123
    January 29

    Edit | Reply
    i never heard a poem like that befrore. its cool. i like that it reflected on the way the famous get away with things just because they have money. its true and eveyone has been denying it. i love that you incorperated that in. Good write!


  • stellargirl
    January 27
    Edit | Reply

    hilarity

    good job. That was very entertaining.


  • Heroesrox
    January 20
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    I love J Lo. She's so awesome! This was a great and funny write. Thanks so much for th!e share


  • Umi Juvariel
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was so funny. I loved it. Hey, maybe if you get those models pregnant, they will look healthier than they really are! Great write, I loved this.


  • xDemonicxAngelx
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Haha, this was great to read I loved the last two lines, I think that this was very well written You did an excellent job with this! Keep up the good work!

    Take care


  • Riya19
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love it. Seems like, that's the life so many of them lead... And it makes you think, 'Hey.. That's not all that bad'... Or, at least in joke it makes you think that.


  • unavailable
    September 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Every single model I’d try to impregnate.
    I’d get married for maybe a week and go.
    And of course at some point I would date J Lo.

    oh my goodness...

    So nice reading this.


  • crivanea silver member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol..cute..that is nice..kinda reminds me of the t.v shows i watch.,.,.politics..yep..it is nice to watch..hard to be..and funny to see..hahah..


  • JustFallingApart
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very good. I'm sure there are many possitive sides to being famous, i realy liked this, the ryming was great i love these kinds of poems I realy enjoyed reading this, well done. Hope all is well


  • Foodahalic
    August 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I chuckled a little when you said..."I'd get married for maybe a week and go"

    It was a excellent poem.


  • xXxIceQueenxXx
    August 12, 2008

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    haha! Great poem.

    "I’d seethe and rant about politics and war.
    Of course being rich makes me know more."

    and

    "I know it’d be a tough life, but I could handle it.
    Of course if it gets to hard, I’ll just throw a fit."

    are def. my favorite lines. Thanks for giving me a good laugh today!


  • pulsating
    July 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i find this interesting. nice suit by the way


  • SignifyingNothing
    July 11, 2008

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    Aww that's great. So true, I can recall all the real people who did the things you wrote about. Yes, so much celebrity drama. My roommate used to watch those gossip shows all the time. Of course, you are a guy so you didn't write about prancing around with no underwear like Lohan. :-) I especially liked the lines:

    I’d seethe and rant about politics and war.
    Of course being rich makes me know more.

    This whole thing was really funny.


  • A Citys Ember
    July 11, 2008
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    hahaha, this was funnnay . i love the second and last . made me laugh !


  • crazymomma
    June 25, 2008

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    LOL! This was great! I loved the story told here. Unfortunately your words ring so true too often. This was fun to read. Thanks for the laughs


  • ShaddowsDarkened
    June 24, 2008

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    lol...it made me smile. i like the immage it creates, but not sure i'd want to meet you if you were famous! the poem was really good, easy to read but created such a strong immage.

    keep writing,
    holly x


  • Christina-is-crazy
    June 23, 2008

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    Very good poem.

    Love the imagery,

    But you seem like you'd be kinda a jack ass

    If you were famous lol,

    But its still a very good writ.

    keep up the good work.

    ♥ Christina


  • Wolfdog silver member
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    A very fine write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. I sensed a touch of irony in this one. Thanks for sharing it with us.

  • Topnotchsy
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Funny write, Looking at the comments it's obviously a pretty popular piece.

    With that said, I do kind of feel that some of the lines felt a little forced. The second line kind of feels like you twisted it so that it would rhyme. Didn't love the word "go" in line 3 which again felt like it was just there to set up the next rhyme. Just my opinion.

    Despite the critiques (and I hesitated to say that about a poem that everyone else seems thrilled with but I felt from the rest of the poem that you could probably if you so chose edit it and make it even better) there are some parts of this poem that I loved:

    I’d seethe and rant about politics and war.
    Of course being rich makes me know more.

    I loved this line as it spells out something that drives me crazy about celebrities and those who allow celebrities to influence their views on politics.

    The last 2 lines were also quite funny.

    Really a solid piece that in my humble opinion could be even better with a few small edits.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    June 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah..this is very interesting piece you brought..the flow and the tone..is just very light ...well done..and thanks for sharing such a wonderful write...


  • DeGraw
    June 21, 2008

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    Hee hee hee!!!

    Terrific! I can't see how you didn't win . What kind of competition you must have been up against! I love it! Look forward to more. And with your looks, baby, you could be famous!!! I'm old enough to be you're mother...just an observation
    Regards, Degraw

  • blondiekj
    June 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    haha! I 100% love it! its really true and you have a good point. Its very well written too, and has a good flow. I love how you used satire to write a poem. Its a good topic, and many would agree on it. the ending has to be the best part, its speaks the truth all the way through! Awesome write! Good job and keep writing!! Love it, it made me laugh!! =)


  • Meroza
    June 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Haha, this is a really funny one and the flows quite good too.

    - Meroza

  • paul england
    June 18, 2008
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    the subject and meaning is class but the ryhme is abit forced and does not flow to well abit stop start


  • l33t-n1nj4
    June 18, 2008

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    hahaha

    that was good i loved it. SO true and so sad that it must be so. Anyways it was cute...I giggled. Wish I could like pin it to my page or something of that nature so everyone can read it. I really liked it. Great job keep up the good work your fab.


  • xXFreedom-of-LoveXx
    June 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    I wish I were famous. Hey, it would be great.
    Every single model I’d try to impregnate.

    I’d get married for maybe a week and go.

    And of course at some point I would date J Lo.

    I’d crash a new Porsche every month or two.

    And say, “I’m not drunk. I only had a few.”

    You know I’d always get away with any crime.

    My team of lawyers would get me out of time.

    I’d seethe and rant about politics and war.

    Of course being rich makes me know more.

    I’d punch a guy out for taking a picture of me.

    I’d love to sign autographs, but never for free.

    I know it’d be a tough life, but I could handle it.

    Of course if it gets to hard, I’ll just throw a fit.


    i will keep it in my heart


  • rawr41507
    June 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hahahahahahahahahaha; niceeee; i reallyy like it; pretty funny. and true. it's soooooo completely beyond amazing. . you're very talented. Woo hoo!! =


  • Poetdontknowit
    June 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    HEEHEE

    So true my fellow poetic friend! I have one on here similar to this about Roseanne Barr, and Paris Hilton being in jail together. I think your piece is downright heeelarious!
    POETDONTKNOWIT
    WRITING IT HER WAY


  • FightOffYourDemons
    June 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good flow. But the humor is all been there done that. You know it just seems really unoriginal. It just seems way too easy know a days to make fun of celebrity's . I mean the jokes just not funny anymore, it's lost it's power. But you do have potential i say pick another topis and try to come up with some more original lines. Nice try


  • xPink-Lotusx
    June 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great flow, great rhyme, great humor.
    Me personally, I think 'celebrity' is a just a joke anyways. Why do we put these people on pedestals? They are bound to fall off during one of their temper tantrums!


  • TwilightAngel026
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    hmmm

    Well, I didn't quite know what to think of this poem. It made me laugh quite a bit, but sadly... I kept picturing Jason Alexander from the "Celebrity" video dumping coffee on someone lol! It's a great song, and you've captured the idea really well. I think this was really honest and entertaining.

    My favorite line was " I’d seethe and rant about politics and war. Of course being rich makes me know more."

    I forget how many times I've heard about the Dixie Chicks comment, the infamous Toby Keith battle that erupted, or that magazine cover they all did. Natilie couldn't seem to understand why everyone got so upset over all that. She mouthed off in front of the cameras, then seemed to pout and throw a fit when people got mad. Finally she just cried and said "I'm sorry". Sometimes I don't understand celebrities. Did they take an age reversing pill? They act like little kids!

  • StarPrincess
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    uhmmmmmmm

    Well I would not like to be famous. There is no privacy, there is no personality, there is no time to have fun, and there is no time to enjoy life. Most people who are famous have to keep working at it, or their adoring fans forget them, and remember someone else.

    I did really laugh at this though, it was nice and easy to read. Thank you for the humor.

  • Topnotchsy
    May 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Love this line:

    I’d seethe and rant about politics and war.
    Of course being rich makes me know more.

    Never really got that one. Nice write.


  • libithina
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Haahaa this was brilliant!! great rhythym and rhyme
    I met Katie Price (aka Jordan) would that do or maybe not J Lo
    Bravo dear friend and poet s s Lib x x


  • SweetZsKuLLy
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is funny!
    the life of every famous person!
    no complications.. there's alwayz a way out

    i love it


  • Weltt
    May 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I read this once before. not sure if i commented then and Im too lazy to scroll down. so if I did my apologies, otherwise I thought this was brilliantly penned and had a snappy wit about it. well done!


  • hks
    May 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    nice poem, models are hot as hell damn that part is no joke.

    and yeah celebrities are little babies anything bad happens they just cry.

    much love,
    violent.


  • Blood Bloom
    May 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    LoL how funny!


  • freedomrider
    May 18, 2008
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    Awesome Poem!

  • abyssal
    May 18, 2008
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    I'm not sure if many models these days are fertile, but good luck.

    Clever poem, enjoyable.


  • scottstappswife
    May 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    very amusing to say the least. I found it had a great flow and I would love to read more humorous poems from you. good job


  • darlintlc silver member
    May 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very funny!! Maybe you should send this to a few famous people...a little look in the mirror wouldn't hurt them! ha!

    "I'd seethe and rant about politics and war
    Of course being rich makes me know more"

    Great!!
    darlintlc

  • judithsmith
    May 14, 2008
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    hahahaha this made me laugh. Reminds me especially of young Holloywood.


  • individuality gold member
    May 14, 2008

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    j lo, she's okay for a quickie but she gets grumpy in the mornings, still she's rich and gorgeous so that is okay i suppose. a good poem.


  • true.romance
    May 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hahahaha, amazing satire. This is phenomenal. It is so true. It is written so simply and yet says so much.

    "I’d seethe and rant about politics and war.
    Of course being rich makes me know more."

    I love this part, because that is exactly how rich and famous people act. Their opinion becomes law, it is ridiculous.

    Very witty. Great write, thanks for sharing.


  • Blood and Whiskey
    May 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Witty.

    Pretty funny, a little rough at times but the theme is great.

    Very comical, and it is more likely than an accurate portrayal of the celebrity mindset.


  • I-hope-im-not-alone
    May 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    so tru so tru. wouldent we all want to be famous.


  • Girl In The War
    May 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ha! I think you created a humorous - and accurate - portrait of celebrity in our day and age. Or, at least, how some celebrities seem to act on a consistant basis. I particularly liked:

    I’d seethe and rant about politics and war.
    Of course being rich makes me know more.


  • only1love4ever
    May 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Comical

    Omgosh haha.. that is very cute and its defiently original. hopefully you didnt mean all those things you said.
    These lines are very strong and too the point, but at the same time, very risky.

    Every single model I’d try to impregnate.
    I’d get married for maybe a week and go.

    I know most celebs have a phase like this. Especially the younger day and age. they go through marriage like it was a tub of ice cream, when it's gone, it gone.. Time for a new flavor and a new tub.


    I’d crash a new Porsche every month or two.

    And say, “I’m not drunk. I only had a few.”

    You know I’d always get away with any crime.

    My team of lawyers would get me out of time.

    I’d seethe and rant about politics and war.

    Of course being rich makes me know more.

    Oh and you know that they always are right. Especially when they're hammered and can't think right. They say what they say, but never get taken away, as where us regular ol' folks take all of the blame. They make us pay up because our rear light went out, then when some celebrity has a rear-ender, it's okay they're just a big spender!

    Well, this is a great poem, it really shows the depth of how things are these days.
    It was very funny.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Have a great day friend.
    ~Only1love4ever


  • neutron mass
    May 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You certainly know how to live it up if you were famous. It seems this is how many of them behave, thinking they can get away with anything and are above the law. Money talks and so does fame in this day and age. You have hit many nails on the head in this poem.


  • peridotPixi
    May 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is funny, and it seems so true that's what happens to famous people with the whole getting away with murder stuff, look at OJ so anyways i like the flow this poem has the rhyme doesn't seem tooo forced, keep up the great writing, i would like to be famous some day too -amy


  • movedon
    April 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    haha! Such a wonderful write!!! The smooth rhyme and flow made it easy and oh so fun to read. Very nice job of making it funny, buy not cheesy. Quite hard to do. Congrats on a great poem!

    Spreading some love from me to you,
    Miley


  • PoeticAlien gold member
    April 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ha,
    so perfectly true!


    love it!


  • Night FireWolf
    April 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    funny because it's true. Perfect!


  • Punkette
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Good job. I like this alot. It's so true of today's stars. They're just like little kids thinking they can do whatever they want. The one big difference being that usually they get away with it, while most parents exert some type of control over their kids. Keep up the good work.
    Anaiya Illyria


  • phantomwriter
    April 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Lawl

    Hehe. I like it. A witty criticism of today's celebrities. Though, certain party girls seem to come to mind... Anyway. I like this piece. It flows well, and has a steady rhythm that works well. Great job


  • Mr Violet
    March 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I think it's funnnny.


  • still.she.waits
    March 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    not so funny, or unique. but true nonetheless


  • eleno
    March 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hmm, so true.. a little sad actually.. -eleno


  • daviscth silver member
    February 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks so much for posting in my contest.
    Cathy


  • NeuroticMIKE
    February 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    truthful, but not so funny.
    i think it has the potential to be turned into a great serious poem,
    but not really a funny one.


  • daviscth silver member
    February 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You must have take a bit from each Hollywood "star" to compose this funny truthful poem. I enjoyed every word.


  • Talking Toni gold member
    February 18, 2008

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    Spot On!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Isn't that the truth about Holloywood celebrities!!!! This was a humorous way of dissing the rich and elite!!! I loved it!!! Kelle will too I am sure!!! Thanks for your entry and the best of luck in the contest!!!~~Toni~~


  • Charley-
    February 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Nice Work

    Hello there and thanks for entering my contest. I like your flow in your piece and your creative side too well thanks again for entering and best of luck!


  • Mykeee
    February 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Illustrated the way our children sees the twisted views that is pumped into their brain on a daily basis. Just so superficial that reality is gone. Very well done with humor as well.


  • natchstucco
    February 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Seems to be the way of the celebrity. there is no bad press these days. No matter waht they do seems to roll off them. but eventually they destroy it all as money is not the source for happiness. so your songs says.


  • Kathryn Bowden
    January 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    a really cute take on today's celebrity


  • Xsafety glassX
    January 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    u wont be that famous anymore if ur fans all see u pitching a fit on tv...

    im rlly hoping this is a DUDE that wrote this cuz i have no idea how a chick could impregnate j lo...

    anywho, KUDOS!!! thanx for entering


  • Desire gold member
    January 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thank You!!

    Thank You for Your entry: If I Were Famous
    This piece tugged at my Spirit along with the message~~
    The only hiccup was that this piece was not in any of my previous contests so it does not meet the qualifications for this contest...I'm sorry
    but Wonderful piece penned

    Thank You again for sharing Your Talent also Voice!
    Best wishes to You in the other contests Sweet Soul
    **Judging will be done shortly...
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


    • atticus snow
      May 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      "This piece tugged at my Spirit along with the message~~"
      Generic much?


  • ellipsist
    January 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    kind of cute... kind of amusing... definitely playful... i especially like the thought with which you conclude...


  • Tamerlane
    January 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hahahahaha i love it. sarcastic and truthful. my favorite combination


  • Dak
    January 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Haha, this made me laugh out loud, which poems seldomly do. I love the bitter sarcasm and mockery, it works here. You hit basically every single point of the pampering and special treatment that celebrities get. Thank you for entering this piece.


  • lindaburns gold member
    January 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Comment by Judge

    It’s hard work but someone has to do it. Points well taken.
    Thank you for entering my contest.


  • loveisthemoment
    January 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hahaha nice! thanks for entering!


  • Mr Majenta gold member
    January 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a well traveled poem, war being part of my life i really liked the:
    I’d seethe and rant about politics and war.
    Of course being rich makes me know more.
    good luck


  • Anguas-Confusion gold member
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A good write, makes you think. the dreams you have, the way you would play it out. One of those things that will probably never happen but you look at it and think, yea I'll do that, I can do that too... You base it on your understanding of celebrites... being famous isn't all it's cracked up to be apparently but you've got that in there too. Very well written, thank you for entering it in my contest. xXx


  • Amera gold member
    January 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful "smile" poem. Set up as a sonnet with the 14 lines the aabb rhyme scheme and meter really makes this read fun. Just one thing; I'll never let you drive my Porsche.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Demmy-Defect
    January 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    as much as i serisouly love this (ur word choice/rythm/flow etc.... (it's AWSOME, given those qualities) --this doesn't much follow the rules for my contest. i'm really sorry; i still love it


  • Annastacia
    October 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Ha!!! Very cute!!!

  • Quank
    October 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is good. i enjoy sarcasm.

  • nikki4
    October 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    hehe i really enjoyed that thanks made me smile me loads a bit of a suprise read since i thought i was reading love not humor but glad i read this woot!

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