This
trips along your spine
white hot
to set your skin on fire
and steal your breath away
It
cuts through you
and stops your heart for a second
only to crash you back again
wordless
eyes wide in wonder at
A lightning bolt
electric along every nerve
with your back arched
sobbing in ecstasy
as the fires burn
Then
it stops
breathless
and little strands are left
twirling
flickering across your skin
When all you can do is lay
eyes closed
and attempt to regain composure
in the darkness
after you've been torn away
Author notes
Interpret as you will. I had a specific emotion in mind when writing this, but ended up rewriting it to leave it more open to the individuals interpretation. So please, by all means, let me know what you felt
Written October 19th, 2006
A contest entry
- Round 3 of 5 (Invite Only) by Kei-Aira.
300 points, ended November 2, 2006, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Level One: Difficulty: Painless by IndividualEleven.
600 points, ended January 29, 2007, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want to Feel The Fiery Passion by EternalFyre.
450 points, ended February 20, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
Sent tingles down my back, nice write. Good luck in the contest!
-
Yea..it was a hard color to imagine...kind of a white/silver. Think of heating silver until it's white hot and that's about it. Not really a color found when you look around on a normal day.
-
Wow!!! The imagery here is spectacular. I do feel that you may be describing the actual lightning itself rather than the colour, but then again, the colour is quite hard to pin down ... is it white? silver? yellow? gold?? You are making my head hurt now!!!!
-
Beautiful. I felt as if I were the sky itself that is being torn apart mercilessly by a sudden whip of lightning. Very much well done. You have some very original imagery here - I would've never thought to express certain things you write about in this way. The better for you!
Good luck to you in the contest!
Regards,
Jan
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