I can't wait to see your eyes
when I wake you in the morning.
You won't know what to say,
I've not given any warning.
Fueled by rage I sit here,
sewing together our bedsheets.
Betrayal won't be forgiven
as long as your heart still beats.
Sitting in the dark
I await the coming dawn.
Seething with anger
I watch you wake with a yawn.
To no avail you try to move
becoming more confused.
You never should have cheated
I can't stand to be used!
Grabbing my bat,
standing over your immobilized form,
poised to take a swing
I sweetly ask you if you're warm.
Sputtering and begging,
you're trying to break free.
The bat connects with your balls...
you shouldn't have cheated on me.
Author notes
I guess this is a lesson to all those who cheat...
Option number 17: Humor.
Written October 18th, 2006
A contest entry
- ♥♥♥ Lots of Options, Lots of Types of Poetry, Lots of Stuff For You!♥♥♥ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
400 points, ended March 3, 2007, 63 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hopelessly Hopeful by BAMFNx3.
850 points, ended August 28, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 50 of 50
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LOL I'm glad to see that you won a cup with this Nicole. I really enjoyed reading it. Cathy
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Haha! That's grand! I loved the ending. Great write and thanks for entering.
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Ouch!! But well done babe, woman power! Hey, when a woman cheats it's one of the worst sins ever... When a guy cheats, it just seems to make the marriage/relationship a little unstable for a while and his mates can't see what the problem is (you didn't do anything wrong paul, it's her). Gah... Funny as though.
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WOW
I'm glad it wasn't me.. hehe
Very good..
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Haha..stupid buggar. I love this poem. He deserves to get his balls bashed in.. This was really awesome. Thanks for entering and good luck!
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Wow! This is really.. harsh! -I liked it!
I love the subject you chose, revenge.
Thank you for entering my contest.
Best of luck! -
um ouch, that hurts, I hope no one ever cheats on you for two reasons! 1) people should never cheat on anyone and 2) it would be a painful mistake!
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HAHAHA! It's great! I love it! hahahaha, wow, that was awesome.
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This being capital punishment for cheating I think I may avoid any relationship at all to make sure it doesn't possibly happen to me. But aside from a general fear of the inner workings of a woman's mind, This was truely a lifter-upper for my day. It brought a smile and a chuckle as the bad guy got what he desearved in the end, like every good story. Keep up the wonderful work!
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WOW
Well the Cardinels won the World Series, but it seems you took home one of their winning bats! LOL This is so like lip biting crazy! I was nervous for the dude! LOL...Anyhow if this really happened..then I know you are tough, and if we ever became friends I would not ever cross you! Anyhow, cheaters never can truly get away with what they have done even when they think they have. This was a great write, entertaining as well...crucial for him! LOL
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this makes a powerful statement. the last line is the final nail in the coffin. good work
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Oh boy let that be a lesson alright, this is sensational, I got a giggle but also the serious side as well, he obviously didn't value his balls that much eh!! Great write
Karen -
lol this is a v funny poem, well deserving the gold trophy. did this really hapeen? if so i woodnt have wanted to be the guy. owch!
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Justice Was Served
Nicole...
I am so glad I read this that I promise you...Oh vengence can be so sweet...I loved the idea...I can imagine his face...Priceless...
Thanks for the laugh...Made my day
Capture my heart with your words
Tessa
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I'm glad you got a laugh out of it... you are so right, there are times when justice served cold can be a succulent dish! Love and luck in all you endeavor... thanks for the kind comment.
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ROFL!!!!!!!!!
never been cheated on before i dont think but wow..the wink at the end just brightens my face up. !!! this is cute and adorable in a weird im gonna show you whos boss type of way. infact all the detail in this leads you to think of the worst thing possible and then the end..ha ha PLAY BALL!!!!!!!!! and then home run with lots of cheers and getting splashed with orange juice and beers......
cheers kill those who cheat
mensch!
PS can i have your autograph u pro ball player u?
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Yes! yes...yes...and yes...! Awesome write, thanks for entering
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And this is supposed to make me laugh? I dont think so.
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Tremendous writing
Brilliant. I loved this. Tremendous rhyme here as well. It really flows brilliantly well. More please. -
This poem flows with a flawless rhythm and rhyme. A very creative poem that is very effective. I realize this poem is probably (I hope) just fantsy, but reads as if it is reality. Well done dear poet.
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Oh,my nuts.
I hope you didn't really do that.
Hit him in the head or stab him but not the balls.
That said thats a great poem but I'm kinda scared of you now.
All jokes aside,You did a wonderful job of expressing your self.
I like that you got graphic with out being tasteless.
Alot of poets can't do that so props on being one who can. -
Hilarious
you're soooo right, i loved it, sooo great, i wish i could write like this, and thanks sooo much for commenting and reading my poem, i really appreciate it and the support, so thanks!!!!
♥ -
outstanding
hello poet...this is very well written...great imagery...there is a nice flow to the excellent word choice...I say to the cheat....beware...lol...great write...larry -
This was a surprize package within poetry,no heartbraking lament but a lesson to be learned,well written and imagery good and loved the build up to the end.
I had a few "ouch " comments from guys when I posted a write with ten ideas for um er shall we say similar lessons but the ladies ,ah bless them,they all related to it!
Loved the revelation of your prank on the teacher/car with the seran wrap,a perfect jape as neither the car nor the guy was harmed but the point was made,that is exactly the kind of thing I have imagined doing.Well done indeed!
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**passes acytra my bat with pleasure** with this advice, "Wield it with power and grace." Thanks for your confidence in this piece!
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HONEY OF THE WORLD!!!! This is totally outstanding! Brilliant expression of the hurt feelings from being cheated on and the excilleration of revenge. I am feeling all excited inside. Can I borrow your bat? Please? FANTASTIC FANTASTIC WRITE!! The best of luck in the contest. I see this as the number one, gold, of this contest!!
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Thanks for commenting instead of "clicking and running" (phrase courtesy of soulfultia). I do appreciate the applause as well.
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i will return
i hit this by accident,i thought it was a new poem you posted.then i realized i'd bin here before and now am feeling a little bit stupid about it........i see you commented on a couple of my poems.thanks alot for your kind comments.i will be reading more of your stuff.i will leave an applaud and try leave as silently as possible,rudolf -
wow, this was funny. great job.
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If you want to do something to his car I recommend vaseline and tons of saran wrap. You vaseline the entire car and then saran wrap the car shut. Go over and under and around. Smear more vaseline on the outside of the saran wrap and he'll have a hell of a time getting it off. Doesn't hurt the car (to abide by your love of cars) but truly frustrates the hell out of him. (Did this to my biology teachers '69 vette back in high school). Really pisses them off!
Edited on Oct 19, 10:05 p.m. because ''. -
LMAO funny
LMAO totally great!! Yea I had an ex use me and I had thoughts of what to do to his car...froozen paintballs, bricks, maybe a bat ya know anything to hit it with. His car was his baby. He's just lucky I love cars and I'm such a gear head or it would've happened. O wait it did I just wasn't guilty and he can't prove anything :-P. Really well done ;-) -
Ouch
Well I see you mixed a bit of venum in with this write.... it was spewed all over the page! I am not a man yet "ouch" was too a word I uttered! Can't say I haven't had a thought or two along these lines! Good grip on the mind of a scorned woman! Excellent and for the record... the visual was as vivid as one could get! Pen on poet... you are a talent to follow ~Tia
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BALL BUSTER"S
I clicked on to this yesterday,but didn't have time to comment,i don't know what to say,.....but i have a fairly good idea of what the recieving end felt like,....i'm hoping that it ended there.exceptional ryhme and flow the poem also sends a very clear and direct message(DON'T MESS WITH ME!!!!!)there will be consquences,...rudolf -
Well I guess he'll be thinking twice about cheating on eanyone for the most part! Laughter is all I can say abouttheis poem. Well done, great read Nicole!! ~Sie
Edited on Oct 19, 9:17 because ''. -
This poem is very touching and beautiful, it made me picture the situation and feel the emotions..but somehow WE always over come. since We have learned how to deal with it...
But why do men cheat? but all men know, at some level, that cheating is wrong, well you poem is a good example..a good lesson for every cheaters..(wink)
GRACE
Edited on Oct 19, 4:29 because ''. -
OK. LMAO
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No Problem... it was meant to be dementedly funny
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Gulp. Not what I was expecting here, I'll say that much. I hope I'm allowed to take it lightly and just giggle.
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Hehe OUCH! Good one although that would be quite a sewing accomplishment. I would say I felt baf for the fellow but I've really not very much respect at all for cheaters. Good cry of vengeance in this poem.
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ouch! now that would be a very unpleasant thing to wake up to in the fresh face of morning. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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Love it!!!!!
Love it!!!!! There's so much truth in this poem, I know when my partner cheated on me, I would of easily have grabbed a bat...
Well done and good luck in the contest....
Tracey -
Thanks for the new nickname... LMFAO Revenge is so sweet sometimes!
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Ouch!!! Damn that hurt! Vicious girl, just vicious. Well I agree that revenge can be cathartic. People like to blather on about how revenge is a waste of time and you shouldnt stoop to that level and whatever but fuck it, sometimwes its good to get down and dirty, and just give as good as you've gotten.
Well Babe Ruth keep penning.
Regards
Previn -
I wanted to do this really, really badly to my ex-husband but he too is a law enforcement officer and sadly I am allergic to jail. Oh well, at least I got to write about it.
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This is hysterical, Nicole! Remind me not to piss you off, huh? Yow!!! I hope this isn't based in reality? 'Course, if it is, we can always use another Franki Valli . . . "Big Girls Don't Cry!!!" - oce
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Thanks so much for your comment... heading to check out your work as well to return the favor.
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excellent
Nicole, Nicole, Nicole!!! Very very well said. You can almost hear the crack of the bat!! This is a perfect write for an ugly situation and you have made a wonderful poem of it with all the warnings of we all sould be honest and loyal to our spouses. Our lives may depend on it!!!! Very nice rhyme and perfect content. I'll be looking at your writtings now to see what happens next! -
Painfully good
Very well-written, but remind me never to cross swords with you!
I enjoyed this in a kind of masochistic way.
Cheers,
Bill -
Quite an amusing one. It seems revenge really can be sweet!
I like how you kept this short and to the point. The rhyme worked great, and was a nice thing to include on this piece. I always enjoy rhyme, and for a shorter piece like this I feel it really gives a lot of power to the fewer words used.
All in all, though, I think I would have been satisfied with stapling the sheets.
That is too funny. But then, I'm a guy, of course I'd probably prefer to skip the second part!
I'm all out of applause for the night, so I'll be back tomorrow to make my contribution to the thunder.
Best wishes,
-Tim -
whoa~ nasty~~
ahh i can feel the pain that you felt and why you did this
but really that is nasty~
i liked your rhyme it's super good.
the only one part is at the second last line "the batS connectS with your balls"
it's either the bat connects with your balls
or the bats connect with your balls
good write
a lesson to be learned if you don't want to go impotant: you shouldn't have cheated on her. or on any girl for that matter.
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