When you started to improve your life,
I was always there for you.
I encouraged, and pushed, and helped you think.
There was nothing you couldn't do.
I knew a day would come,
After all your triumps and success.
You forgot that I stuck with you,
And left my world a mess.
I'm not asking you for anything,
The career you seeked has came.
My love for you was very true,
Try to remember my name.
When I see you today,
You speak and run away.
Maybe you'll find it in your heart,
To say thanks my life's not gray.
I would gladly do the same again,
And again remove your doubt.
The hurt I have within my heart,
Will leave once I figure it out.
As you started to improve your life,
You know I was there for you.
I tried real hard not to fall in love,
and then low and behold came you.
Author notes
Heartbreak
In a list
A contest entry
- The Pain That Love Brings by Sesheta.
600 points, ended September 10, 2007, 64 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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What I love about this piece is the honesty of it. It has a real, unforced feeling that you can't help but to feel it and know the sadness. Great job!
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i love a poem that gets straight to the point, yet has a soft spot. good luck in my contest.
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excellent
great write, your imagery superb. this person sounds like a fixer-up. someone who has nothing, spiritually emotionally or even financially. you come along encourage them, push them, love them and when they reach their pinnacle they don't even remember your name. very ungrateful. it would be lovely to receive a thank you for being there for me, believing in me, pushing me. hell just a plain thank you. instead of acting as though this miraculous change was solely their undertaking. as i said this write speaks volumes of truth. its a shame how quickly people forget where they came from, and who helped them get to where they're at now. this was excellent- kudos -
Good write
This was alright. The grammar and the rhyme scheme are a bit off, but I appreciated the overall message that you tried to present. -
well Done. It seems to often those who stand by one are often left behind.
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Wow... this is well written... but so sad as well... You voice yourself well Doughjoe... and the ending is a real heart wrencher to be sure...
Excellent job in the writing of this...
~Melissa -
A very modest poem indeed showing a gripe that most will be equally aware of. Much in this has shown that the patience was most obvious, much and the rewards very little. Nice work!!!
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