Dear Beauty, what is left here?
I laid my head down and kicked,
That broken doll from her seat by my ankles
Everything just seemed a little tired, faded,
Older than I noticed before.
I contemplated loss
Did it hurt? Could I feel?
Was it just...
Another fateful fantasy,
A nightmare that was too real to believe in.
The pen slipped again
Nothing was worth writing about.
These are the anorexia chronicles
5 years of how THIN are YOU?
Vogue and Tinkerbell
Misconceptions and
Hundreds upon hundreds
Of tired lies
I didn’t even bother
To make convincing
Although I swear, it isn’t the fault
Of those glossy, airbrushed pages
I couldn’t be that shallow
Could I?
But I still remember
‘It’s your duty to be beautiful’
All those old songs that twirl
Mockingly
Around my tired skull
They’re not a comfort anymore
Just another
Reason to give in
To take another day crouched
Fitfully on the tiles
Didn’t it used to be just about control?
I don’t recall how I ended up here
Still believing
That it was all his fault
Then realising, in a shock that cracked the porcelain
That it makes me just his puppet
Still
And so it goes on.
Dear Beauty, what is left here?
Author notes
An old one I've had in the pipeline for a year or two and only just managed to finish.
So glad I finally managed to get it out.
And by the way
I'm in remission - but that doesn't mean it's easy.
I just means I'm sick of lying
and of proving him right.
Written October 18th, 2006
A contest entry
- & I was losing everything to be thin. by Page Deleted..
500 points, ended March 1, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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"Didn’t it used to be just about control?"
That's very much how I feel about my ED.
Thankyou for entering and best of luck.
Keira Ashley
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Good luck in the contest.
This is awesome... (great vocab right?)
Really deep and painful
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Beautiful
Although I asked for fresh writes for this topic you did as I asked in conveying the emtotions rather than describing the actual ED, so I'm going to allow it. Also having a mild one myself, I can understand what you're saying here and relate.
It really is a stunning write. 5 years of how THIN are YOU? Really made me think, well put across here. Well done for conveying your feelings so well, it's impossible to ignore them here. All the best to you.
Thanks for entering =]
Frankie xXx
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wow.
this is stunning.
i love it.
this is...real dp. congradulations. seriously.
Didn’t it used to be just about control?
I don’t recall how I ended up here
Still believing
That it was all his fault
Then realising, in a shock that cracked the porcelain
That it makes me just his puppet
Still
And so it goes on.
Dear Beauty, what is left here?
i love the ending. great stanza. good luck and thank you so much for entering the contest. -
wow amazing... im not suyre what to say?? just so moving and takes hold you your heart so well.
-
"These are the anorexia chronicles
5 years of how THIN are YOU?
Vogue and Tinkerbell
Misconceptions and
Hundreds upon hundreds
Of tired lies
I didn’t even bother
To make convincing
Although I swear, it isn’t the fault
Of those glossy, airbrushed pages
I couldn’t be that shallow
Could I?"
loved that stanza!
wonderful write... very effective descriptions
-
As well as this...
-
and that equal sign in my last comment was supposed to be a smily face.
-
you described it perfectly. this poem wowed me entirely.
good luck in the contest. but you wont need it. = -
this is a beautiful poem and im glad you could finally get it out. eating disorders are so hard to fight but the first step to overcoming the problem is admitting you have one. i love your last line, for some reason it had so much truth in to. great poem. good luck in the contest and keep writing
Thankyou For Entering -
‘It’s your duty to be beautiful’
that line says it all. -
wow, this gave me cold chills.
-<3 skooter-
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It's always wonderful to summit to those Poet/Poetess contest, who themselves write good! And after reading your this poem. I know, how talented you're. Keep the writing fire burning in your heart........ALWAYS!
PS. AM not saying all this lovely words, so you can chose me as
the winner. If my work is good enough, it will make me the winner! -
i've never had an eating disorder but came close once. i liken it to obsession of which i have a few of those. so i can kinda understand.
these lines grabbed me...
'Then realising, in a shock that cracked the porcelain
That it makes me just his puppet'
kudos for 'getting' that one! so many can't make that conncection, the one as to what drives them to do what they do.
it's a day to day, hour to hour fight and good for you
-
Thank you
I've had writers block for a year nearly, and it's finally gone. So I expect a years worth of poems will all come out in quick succession.
x
Don't give up on being my spell checker yet, I'm cetain this is just a fluke! -
you are on a roll! we wait for ages for a poem then lots come at once! it seems my work is done here, again no errors, it was nice working for you!
a difficult subject and no doubt a horrible and difficult condition to beat.
brilliant as always and from the heart as the best stuff is. -
Thanks doll
-
Mwah
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wow! i can relate to this...
i've been going thru a situation...
quite similar for over 5 yrs...
not many ppl have the courage to put
it out on paper though. or on the internet for that matter...
i have a few poems that are posted on here
that are on this topic.
it's always easier to believe the
negative rather than look thru to the
positive. this is a great write
and i am very happy to read that you
in remission... not many ppl have the determination
to try and change their ways.
this is a hard "addiction" to try and
break the habit of, and only the
strong survive in a way lol.
good luck with this..
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... Ouch. Very stark Nim!
I can't empathise because I've not been there, but this is the closest I've come to understanding at least.
Well written. I love the full circle at the end, where everything and nothing has all changed at once. Talent talent talent, m'dear! -
Thank you
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i think eating disorders are one of the hardest 'addictions' to cut out completely. it's always a option in the back of your head...always a way to improve it make it healthier, safer, etc. im glad to see that in remission. keep up the good work. good job with writing this.
blu
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