Shall we at close of day put chores aside,
Or endlessly be lost in useless task ?
In silent presence we shall now abide,
Within our inner being we shall bask …
Our eyes shall close now to the outer world,
Which with distractions only does deceive,
In inner space true being gets unfurled,
Dissolving endless worries, pain and grief …
For what’s a life without that inner glance
Into our inner realms of joy and peace ?
So search for freedom from this worldly trance,
And from the mind’s illusions find release …
Surrender to the present moment’s grace,
And find the treasure of your inner space …
Author notes
watch the video : http://s247.photobucket.com/albums/gg123/poetmaa/?action=view¤t=23thetreasureofyourinnerspace.flv
my constantly updated video-poetry :
http://allpoetry.com/poem/show/3791503
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Written October 17th, 2006
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1 - 19 of 19
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You're very welcome marion. It is a delightful write.
Shelley
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thank you, shelley ...
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Hi marion. Congratulations on your Honorable Mention. Well done. Shelley
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thank you so much, hoodoo, for your wonderful comment and generous applause on my little sonnet ...
much love,
maa
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This is splendid, such a beautiful job, and great advice as well, lovely indeed!
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thank you so much for the interesting information, dear glenda !
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I almost always try to write the pentameter first, then go back and correct the iambic. Any great sonnet also allows for substitutions, or so my profs say, so every single line does not have to be iambic, just the majority and esp the first line. Glenda
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thank you so much, mlee, for your kind and encouraging words.
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yes, remember our first assignment in ayizan's class ? to write an english sonnet ... now I can tell you : at that time I didn't even know how to rhyme and what abab cdcd meant ... and when I heard "iambic pentameter", I had to do a lot of research to understand what they were talking about ... so much frustration ... so I followed ma belle's advice and just focused on writing my "sonnet" with 10 syllables per line, forgetting about the meter for the moment. this is what I did. but the result was not a real sonnet ...
thanks goodness, ayizan was more than tolerant with me in this class ...
so, now, I just tried again, and this time, it looks more like a real sonnet, I hope ...
thank you so much for your feedback, glenda.
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thank you so much, joss, for your warm welcoming ...
I am happy to participate in your contest.
maa -
Very nice flow to this, with pleasant sound and rhyme.
deLightful to read, Daniel -
This is really very well done. I too find it hard to believe it is your first. Great job. Glenda
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Hi Marion,
I am happy you have entered my contest with this thought provoking poem. I am surprised to know its your first sonnet.
you must be very gifted.Thanks a lot for taking part.
What a lovely background.
joss -
dearest annabelle,
you are truly wonderful ... thank you so much for your encouragement ... yet a dear friend of mine just informed me that this was a contest reserved for some special poetry-groups I don't belong to ... so I am not sure that I may actually participate. but that's okay. I am happy to have written this sonnet, and the rest doesn't really matter ...
much love,
maa -
Yes, this is your first REAL sonnet and done like a pro, my sister! It's beautiful, maa. The iambic pentameter is PURRfit. The presentation is classy. It is aesthetically pleasing. Just gorgeous--gold through and through. You deserve the GOLD trophy. Luv you, ♥ annabelle
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you are too kind to me, shelley ...
well, maybe I have been a poet in a former life, since in this life, it has only been for five months that I write poetry ... I have written some stories and some short texts in french before, but no poetry. I never have learned about poetry in school ... and I seem to have an absolute blockage to write poems in my mothertongue german ... just can't do it ...
so being here on ap revealed a new (or old 
) talent within me, for which I am deeply grateful.
and thanks to wonderful poets like you, I am learning quickly, getting inspired by their work and listening to their wise advice ...
thank you so much
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Hi marion. You're very welcome. You have done an outstanding job. It seems as though you have been writing them for a long time. The iambic pentameter is excellent. Shelley
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hehehe, this was my first sonnet. I had learned it in class, but hadn't been able to do the iambic pentameter yet ... so this here is my first "real" sonnet ... I am happy it worked out, and found it actually much easier to do than I had feared ... thank you for having guided me to this contest, which has permitted me to take a leap of faith and write a sonnet ...
thank you !!!
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Hi marion. Beautiful, simply beautiful. Lovely flow, rhyme, tone and presentation. Masterful word choice. Deep expression of emotion. Very nice alliteration. Thought provoking. Well crafted and a most enjoyable read. Shelley
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