I let the words work their way past my walls,
linger on lines hoping not to languish, deserted,
meaning empty. I roll sounds across my lips,
seeking luscious sensations to tease and tantalize
my lust for word magic. Provoke a sense of promise,
provide this reader with an opportunity for insight,
divination. I dive into the language, allow myself
to be massaged by metaphor, spoken to by symbols,
then go below the obvious message to whatever deeper
statements about the truths of life that lie below the surface.
Each word, a conscious choice, creates a tension between
connotation and denotation, explicates itself by relationships
with the arcane elements of expression found in the piece.
The cohesion of the whole found in the fabric of the words
came together to create this particular insightful moment.
Do not patronize me or force me lockstep to a predetermined destination.
Do not serve me language so familiar it lays dead upon the tongue.
I choose not to be told what I am supposed to feel, instead
seduce me with descriptions, tease me with metaphor, enchant me
with images and provoke me with juxtapositions of symbols.
Create for me such a palate of wonder that intoxicated and be spelled
I slip from my world into yours to listen to how each word breathes.
Wonder is not commanded, nor speechless awe produced
when expression is coarse, brutal or empty of devices to arouse the senses.
Poetry is for the hedonist who seeks more than salacious gratification.
Art speaks of creation and fills us with a deeper understanding
which makes us thankful for the poem that allows us to express it.
5:41 PM
Oct. 16, 2006
Alexandria, VA
Author notes
There is lots on critiquing. But wonder of wonders little on what it takes to read and be involved in a poem. This is how I read and what I want when I read.
Written October 16th, 2006
In a list
- Me and poetry • next in list
- If I had done as I was told, look at what I would have missed • next in list
A contest entry
- American Idol...Poet Style Season 2 by poet2angels.
475 points, ended February 17, 2007, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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this is such sound reasoning. very motivated and grounded in the reality of how things work, a practical kind of art, where beauty and form and truth function together in unison, without being too fussy about it. this is quite pleasing.
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Every one writes about writing. I felt a need to speak for the readers. Glad you enjoyed.
Peace,
Tom B.
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Poetry
Like the taste of a good Scotch or the joy of a fine women must be enjoyed with memories that forever stay. Seekers of special words always smile.
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Thanks for the compliment
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Great concept, well executed, a very sensory approch to poetry really brings it to life i can visualise all of the things you write about because you articulate them well!
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Thanks for the compliment
It was written in response to all the poems about writing poetry, of which I am a sinner as well. I thought, as artist, we should look at what it means for the reader to view our works. What do they expect? Since I am a voracious reader, I used my desires as a resource. If it sparks a little inspiration on the part of a writer or provides a bit of understanding, I am well served. Thanks for enjoying the piece. I would always hope that all my works live up to this standard, but of course that is not always true.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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This should be on your front page ....
I too feel as though
I should be entering something when a piece speaks to me,
I want it to surround me....
intrude on my everyday thoughts...
bring me somewhere else...
I look at writer as being in the transportation business..
I want to feel like I step out of something at the end,
as if I traveled to see through unknown eyes....
As you can see this piece did just that.
The perivial angle it comes in on...
writing about expected sensation when reading,
Fantastic.
Peace,
Liam
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I know many writers who rebel at the idea of having a responsibility to the reader. I think they are acting narcissistically when they behave that way. I have read so many poems to the art of writing. I believe it is an art to write a good critique ( One I am still learning) and it is an art to be a good reader. In many ways this last is the same as being a good listener. Part is the art of suspending ones belief without losing one footing in reality. This is the kind of thinking that led to me writing what I look for when I read. Of course,I accused of being a deep thinker. I simply find myself sharing experiences and outlooks, opening doorways that allow my readers to go far deeper than I may have ever ventured. When they share in return with me, I am the one who is truly gifted.
Peace,
Tom B.
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Oh my, Tom. This is a stunning jewel of a piece. The romantic language makes your poem buzz and sing. It brings to mind a seduction, the prelude to intimacy between two lovers. And why not? This is what you ask for here, a deep relationship with a poem, a moment in which you can be deeply involved, swept up and away. I love this piece.
Most sincerely,
Camille
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I feel very complimented
Should not art touch us deeply, capture some truth and breath it back into our soul? Do we not turn to art to be moved, touched revealed? I think so. I reach out to poetry that touches me, moves me, keeps me alive.
Yes, great art is seductive and will work upon you until you succumb. I am complimented that you can feel it in this simple piece.
Love,
Tom B.
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wow, the way you describe things is so sophisticated and smart. I bet you could write a book filled with great imagery. I enjoyed it.
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When you yearn to be heard clearly, when you value a well turned phrase for how well it speaks your thoughts, you realize you are a lover of language. As you read you may find yourself falling in love with how a writer describes a scene or quickly draws an image of people in words that you know you have met. This is the joy of language and of reading. Take it on, learn vocabulary not as a chore for a score on a test but as a way to allow yourself to paint better word pictures. Listen to the music that language creates as words share assonance, consonance and slither across the tongue to light magic in the hearts of listeners. Go to open mics and listen if you do not read yourself.
Thanks for the compliments. I appreciate you taking the time to think about how my words have touched you and for sharing it with me.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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i am speechless. brilliant. i just joined the site and am starting to understand that there are so many different types of poetry and styles. so many people on here put me in awe. you are one of them
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Thanks for enjoying my foray into poetry on poetry. Like self-portraits they can be expressions of folly but the can also reveal a great deal about the artist and what they are seeking from their art. You are fortunate to be able to appreciated the efforts and skills of those around you. The thing that is important is two: 1. As an artist, take everything and use it to refine, define and illuminate your voice and style so you can shine your brightest. 2. As someone who values and loves art, take this opportunity to learn all that you can from the mechanics and techniques to the extent that people allow their beliefs to blind them to their own art. In every case, learn, learn, learn and use it to enlarge your own house and illuminate your vision so that you can see with greater understanding, feel with a larger sense of tenderness and be strong enough to withstand the floods and torrents, emotional brushfires as well as the occasional eggings and rotten tomatoes tossed by jealous, frightened little people who are terrified by any and all who would stand up, stand out and be different from those around them.
Lastly, WELCOME! This is a wild and crazy world. This is kayaking through the rapids and dealing with all the damage that can do. But, I think the rush and roil of it is rollicking fun not to be passed up. For it is only during creation that we are truly in the moment, find we are so alive that if we dare stop being a vibrant creative artist, we are the walking dead. Be thankful for being brave enough to dare. Welcome.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Wow
I don't know exactly what to say about this poem. It left me speechless.
Your vocabulary usage in this piece is quite astounding, and the metaphorical language is very creative, IMO, since you are talking about something so everyday as reading. You do make it come alive.
I like that you ask (in the poem) the poets you read to use better vocabulary than the "norm"...
My favorite line is definitely this one: I roll sounds across my lips,
seeking luscious sensations to tease and tantalize
my lust for word magic.
It lends a sensuality to the mundane. Very nice.
I don't know if I have any suggestion for revision. I feel a bit intimidated, actually!
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I started seriously writing when I was sixteen. After many hiatuses I have started to get a handle on what I want to achieve. This was done because everyone was writing about creating and writing poetry and no one was writing about the joy and art of reading it. This is considered by some to be one of my best works. I promise a great deal of it comes with practice. Read lots of poets. I have my favorites. We all do. Never be afraid of trying to write in someone else's style. It is good practice and can only improve your skills. Watch out for those who would tell you how and what to write. Worse kind of critics. The want you to write like they do with no respect for your personal voice and creative strengths. Every art goes through periods. Right now it is minimalism. Fewer words, more power. A lot to be learned from it. But it is not the only way to write poetry. Just like, there is more than one type of music. Though I know many who only listen to one kind and look down at all the others. They come into my eclectic music collections and hear, "If you like this and this is good, how can you listen to thaaa-t."
Learn your voice. Learn the styles that let you fly and sing. Work hard at being really good at those styles. Try any and everything you want to try without remorse. Find something good to take with you from every effort. Learn your level of excellence and try to hold to it with each piece you create. Celebrate the efforts of those around you. We all create with greater skills and panache when we keep a large space of joy around us. Let others be small, a busy squeezing the last drop from the grape and all the joy out of the air. They run quickly for the shadows at a broad smile and caring hand or become your devoted fans.
I run on. Part of the cost of being fifty-eight and full of life.
Peace & Love,
Tom B. -
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Thanks for the advice and the background behind the poem. Your experience in writing definitely shines through in your work. I like older people with a child-like spirit. I'm a youngster with an "old soul", they say. So we meet in the middle.
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Most of my life has been spent getting as old as I look. But I am always younger. Even when many say I am the oldest soul they know. I understand I know it is real, but it is silly to get to concerned. Making sure you don't get run over in heavy traffic is a damn sight more important.
Love, Tom B.
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I truly enjoyed this poem.....I wrote a very spiritual
piece of poetry and another poet......
quoted several scriptures numbers, numbers, numbers...
which made no sense to me at all...or had the ability
to truly reveal his naked beliefs.
I find that this is a very spiritual poem too...
as we would not have the lords prayer
or many stories that have shaped and molded
mercy, compassion, forgivenesss
without their simplicity...
I have to admit I felt a touch intimidated....
by your masterful touch in this poem....
because I am a carpenters daughter
trying to expand and stretch
but reach the common man...who does not
understand complicated structures...
or be it pride...that damn irish tradition
that stands in my way?
hmmmmmmm.....
does not art always evolve and transform...
would then you stop to pause upon it's beauty.
ears/Seattle
I'm in a very reflective mood.
can you tell?
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Art, always has a personal component. Particularly when the artist is committed to denying it. Handle with care. I wrote this because everyone was writing about writing and I thought someone should write about how they want to be read. A good reader sees between and behind the lines and sometimes sees things we didn't even know were there, but when they tell us -- we know they are right.
Love, Tom B.
PS Good art touches us, great art -- transforms.
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A poem provokes a sense of promise, provides this reader with an opportunity for perception.
isn't it odd how each reader's perception can be different? you did a fantastic job on this entire write and left my mind reeling. thank you for sharing. viyanna rosemarie
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Thank you. Yes, part of the challenge in art is to try to create an effect or statement that touches people in a similar way. Still, there are times I am greatly suprised by the readers' response.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Wow, this is exactly what I needed to read. Sometimes it is too tempting to try and tempt a reader onto a certain path of thought and feeling, but I know that never makes for good poetry. What you have written here can be easily used as a guide for writing poetry. The proof that this advice works is within this poem. I am definetly going to bookmark this and keep it as an inspiration. "Wonder is not commanded, nor speechless awe produced
when expression is coarse, brutal or empty of devices to arouse the senses." Your approach to poetry seems very sensualist and full of wonder. Beautifully crafted poem.
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Again I must thank you for taking the time to do a more in depth review than most. It is very helpful and a joy to read. I had read so many poems on what it means to write a poem that in a moment of perverseness I wrote on what it means to read. For what is poetry -- art -- without the audience.
It takes practice to learn to show and not tell. I takes craft to evoke a feeling in a reader and have them express wonder at being so touched. I don't always succeed but I am thrilled when I do. Again my thanks.
Peace & light,
Tom B.
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Wow this piece is very intricate, it was so wondeful to read, and to identify with, I often tell people that I am a word junkie, and that going through the layers of somethingbeautifully written, with words that come together to make the soul sing, is like peeling back the tissue paper layers on an expensive box of chocolates, this was a real treat, thanks for sharing Tom, Godbles littlefishone
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You are welcome. This got written because I read so many for awhile on the reason people wrote poetry, but known on the joy we take from it. I am glad you enjoyed my celebration of a cornocopia tasty delights.
Love, Tom B.
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You have penned the magic within the magic,contemplation of aliteration and the food that imagination hungers for in our writes and in our minds. Thanks for sharing Tom, wonderful insight
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There was a time and still often is, when everyone was writing on why they write and why they give. I thought long and hard upon this theme and suddenly realized what was most important to me: the reader. Why else do I write, but to be read? Then I thought long and hard, what do I as a reader want most when I hear the words in my head?
Thanks for enjoying this poem. I think it is good to hear about what the audience we are writing for would want as they read. May you be gifted often with the quality of language your spirit needs.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Amen.
Print this on little pieces of paper and drop out of airplanes wherever English is written.
Thanks for this.
(glad I found it)
Tom
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Thank you. This is but my humble attempt to capture how the dance of words enthralls me. So much on writing but little on the joy of the reader and the gift of being able to appreciate art of any kind. Perhaps what teachers gift us with in sublime moments is some of their love of being enchanted by the magic of what they teach. No greater blessing then a moment sharing the joy received from the works of wonder around us.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Thanks.
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Germaine Lustigkeit ...
Indeed, the reading of the poet cogitates the way the brain shall throw it; such is one reason why I subscribe not to meter - a classic example of tongue in cheek I like to point out is the Anapestic Diameter of "assyrean" used by Byron in "...the Assyrean came down like a wolf on the fold...", which the meter demands be pronounced "ass-serene". But few would realise that, doubtless.
That free verse essentially lies in this, freedom from a regular meter - "away tedium of da-Dum-dee-Dum" - many fail to realise, taking it mean "do anything you want in that scene".
That an induction of regular rhyme, in firm or wavering waves of patterning, conflating with semi-rhyme and occasional disconsonant chiming, serves well to induce a trance of elevation of insight in the reader's mind may equally well be true of the poet, should he choose to channel his amorphous precognition into disquitions of delight or disgust discused onto the playing field of lays, punk rock style or minstralry's, is experientially verified.
I like to read my poems to my six enclosing walls - unfortunately the city in which I currently reside has a "once-a-month" mentality when it comes to live readings - both to find the natural flow and ill-conceived flaws induced by native
tongue's inherent limitations, which give
rise, in English at least, to tendencies
toward five syllable phrases which seize
the pattern, swerving around four and six,
but rarely longer, in a way which sticks
in the craw of poets more inclined to
become ink lined in freedom's splashing's
lashings of bountiful, bounty of fools,
bliss.
But how I do miss my auld towne where,
should I so care, reading thrice a week there
were of ease avail'.
Nice to read how tare
of poetry's weight in the ear seemeth thee,
poetry being a worthy subject for poetry,
and so I give thee two
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slap happy,
ML.
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I am often found upon a stage and poetry is what lets me preform my finest. Glad you enjoyed my simple words. Thanks.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Honorable...The Exceptional
Tom when I read your work sometimes I want to scream...it has such passion in it even when maybe it's seemingly reluctant...I was feeling better and now I'm feeling good. Your writing is the rule. Thank you so much and I'm sorry I didn't get around to reading it sooner.
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You know my work too well and are too in tune with the passion for being alive that inhabits my words. Yes, I was passionate about everything in this poem and meant to create a roller coaster of sensation as you read it. I am glad you caught the joy in this and truly that is all that matters, you sharing the joy. Time is but a constraint placed on us by our senses.
Love, Tom B.
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This manages to capture exactly what it is to feel words, and to completely immerse yourself within the amazing power of poetry. This is what i strive for and always find lacking in my own works and love to read in other's.
"I roll sounds across my lips, seeking luscious sensations to tease and tantalize my lust for word magic"
Words have to be said just so their true power and gloriousness can be understood. Your work manages to convey this in both sound and meaning. Wonderful
- Amy
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Honest, I learned it from hearing Homer read in the native Greek. Learned a little more from Langston Hughes and the music of jive in his muse. I danced in the colored language of Baudelair (sp?) and Rambeau who knew in their hashish haze the words to share that would amaze. Then after sitting still at the feet of other humans I began to spin out my joy feeling that I had my own sense of the world and word to employ. I am glad to hear you share in this joy, I hope to see more of you and if you have poems you would like to share, be sure to send your links here.
Love, Tom B.
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Amazing
The way you're able to form your words the way you do is breathtaking. Beautifully written.
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Welcome to my world. Thank you for finding it worthy of celebration. I only seek to share my vision of the world and hopfully open a few hearts in the process. It is, to me, more important to build from the soul all the ways to catch and celebrate the Light then to mope in dispair. Again my thanks for your beautiful compliment.
Love, Tom B.
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You have the knack for words...first paragraph, such wonderful alleration. When I finally get back on a roll, I will be writing what you love to read. Your thoughts and poems of love, tantalize me. Your random thoughts on life are so deep, I can tell you must sit and ponder. I do that often. Nature inspires me. I am very into "green". I do so appreciate the inspiration you give to all who read your works!
zzzzzzzzz
Shana
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This is one of those poems that caught a lot of what makes art art for me. I find the ability to enjoy it and appreciate it, every bit as important as the ability to create it. It has a lot to with our sense of wonder.
Yes, I do ponder, not to think deep and heavy thoughts, that is pretentious, but to learn and understand and learn somemore. I like to know how things work -- particularly the arena of human interaction.
Thanks for being touched by this. Even more for having the faith that I make a difference.
Love, Tom B.
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On Reading
I do not know, Tom, how I missed this one! Your poetic device and description of how reading works for you is wonderful here, articulating every nuance of what I wish to feel when I read someone's thought. Poetry is the color that flies me into the heart of a desire or an emotion, and could oft go unexpressed if soul did not manifest its path in such art. One comes back and reads again, because they know there is more there than letters on the page--that someone has left part of themselves there to share in a profound and individual way.
It is not for everyone to see the beauty of poetry the way you do, or the way you write: a gleaning of the meaning in life, but it is there if one chooses to touch the words.
Shewolfnative expressed with such insight what I would convey, were I to find the talent of less mundane expression. I think you and she speak the same language.
~K
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If asked I would have said you had read it. I am glad you enjoyed this. Shewolfnative is in love with it. I wrote it because at the time everyone was writing about why they wrote and I decided in a contrarian moment to write about what I wanted when I read.
Thanks for all the wonderful words and kind thoughts. This piece can always use the support.
Love, Tom B.
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Excellent
So true your words here . Keep up the good work and love the way you make the reader sit back and lanquish your everu thought with appreciation
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I have often read how poets write and I just wanted to take a moment to share about how we read. Glad you enjoyed my efforts.
Love, Tom B.
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new
i never once thought about this, strangely enough. your choice of words is just lovely and i enjoyed this very much.
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I have read many poems on writing but few on the gift that a good read brings. Nor on what a reader wants to recieve from those who bring words to be feasted upon. So one day, like any other day, I wrote this. I am touched that you enjoyed it happy that you took the time to share with me what you received.
Love, Tom B.
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Ah yes, poetry is an art and takes both artist writer and artist reader to appreciate it.
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I have read much on writing but little on reading. Thought I should look at what the writer demands. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Love, Tom B.
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I am still...
a novice but I whole heartedly agree with this assesment. Maybe I should feel lucky to have entered this forum (poetry) somewhat blindly because I have no preconceived notions of how or why something should be. This leaves me only one option, to become emotionally involved with each piece. I hope as I learn, I never lose sight of that fact. And I am so happy that you have chosen to shed a light on this. So many emotions have been lost in the frey because someone focused a word that doesn't exactly rhyme or the forgotten comma and miss the meaning being conveyed. That to me is very, sad and so unfortunate to miss so much just for the sake of dotting the "I" Awesome... Ithica
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Art is learning the rules of your craft, knowing you will break them when you wish to create a certain effect. You break too many of them all at once and it is difficult to understand what you are trying to say.
I love the art of Poetry and the way it affects me as a reader as well as the effect I wish to have on my readers. Like my taste in life I am omnivorous. I just like it done well. The first rule to writing is do it often and do it when you don't want to and it comes hard not just when it comes easy. Go to open mics. Talk to other poets. There is something volitale that happens when you are around those who are trying to be creative. Don't let other peoples negativity get under your skin. Listen to criticism that directs you to ways to improve but even there listen to youself about what feels true to you.
If I can be of any help. Ask. I will do as I can.
Love, Tom B.
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This is a beautifully written poem. The flow is amazing...I really just have no words! Well done!
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Thank you. May you be blessed with poems that touch your heart and light your imagination. Love, Tom B.
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Here is a lovely one doesn't see more often. I like how you dip your pen into the rainbow pot and paint such eloquent images for us. In many places, the words detail what our hearts long to say, but don't.
Though a bit more verbiage in construction than I like these days, you give
some pockets of 'air' so that we can breathe.
(to be massaged by metaphor, spoken to by symbols,)-- all your own, I'd say. Beautiful overall.
Thank you for your words that move us up.
Warmly, DB/cz
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Glad you enjoyed this adventure in what I want and respond to. It is something that grew on its on. Thanks for sharing your pleasure.
Love, Tom B.
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Tom,
Your words are always impressive. Cliche is something that your quill does not know and that my friend is a wonderful thing. The level of your creativity combined with the sensual nature that spills forth is wondrous. A true pleasure to delve within and absorb. Thank you for entering and good luck!
Blessings
Bel
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amazing, truly...
you have managed to put into words something that I'm certain that I've felt and can definitely identify with, but could not have even begun to express myself... you've captured this brilliantly... a very poignant composition! this one really speaks for itself!
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This was a gift. I had been reading all these poems about what it takes to write. I thought about how much I like to read and since I review many pieces here what it takes to delight me. Then, it just wrote itself. My good fortune. Thanks for sharing your joy. In this way I am blessed. Love, Tom B.
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This reminds me a lot of the poem Sound and Sense, by Alexander Pope, which is, in my mind, one of the most intricate and well written poems I have ever read (And I've read a lot)
A genius write, I must say. It definitely gives the reader the message you wanted them to receive.
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I am being put in grand company. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. May your future reads live up to your expectations. Peace & Love Tom B.
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This is already amazing by third line. massaged by the metaphor, I wish I felt this good from one. This is too deep for me at this hour unfortunately. I understand the basis of thought but can't fully take in the underlying truth of the words and begin to comment on them properly. Second to last line first stanza should be hole I belive instead of whole. Just my thoughts. I'm not patronizing you. why might you say that?This has thrown me off course, it doesn't fit with me or sit well in my stomach. Now the next line I fully respect, you don't find beauty in cliche' phrases. is be and spelled supposed to be seperated or conjoined? I think conjoined, not sure though so I thought I'd ask. The plot is nice, liked the prose feeling of it. Thank you for sharing your incite, Tom
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Thanks for the read. Wll talk more tomorrow. Love Tom B.
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The message of this write is very well stated, I particularly like this line "Do not serve me language so familiar it lays dead upon the tongue." But I think the structure/form of this piece is more prose than poetry, so works against the message, although well said.
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Perhaps more prose than poetry for you but then again the line is far from finely delineated and leaves much room for judgement. Thanks for sharing you pleasure with my words.
Peace and Love, Tom B.
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Well said, bravo.
Yes, glad I came to read this.
This is how a poem should feel..to evoke passion, love,
and intelligence. A poem should live beyond the page, and this does. So again, bravo.
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Thanks for the bunnies and I am warmed by the praise. May you find many poems that touch your heart in different ways.
Peace & Love, Tom B.
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I know somewhere in these 131 comments I have read this or maybe when I first joined Ap and was just a "lurker" and maybe not commented... As i read this, I have a better perspective, for with it comes a vast array of your works that have left me in awe, in splendor, in enchantment, in longing, in yearning, in hope and in commitment. I somehow feel that I am a better person for "reading" your words, as silly as that may sound..You have done much for me...and will leave it at that...for ...now
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this has got to be one of the nicest compliments i have ever recieved. We all want to feel that we have made a difference in this life. I am one of the lucky ones. You have let me see that, indeed, I have made a difference for you. Love with all my heart, Tom B.
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Incredible. The whole thing flowed so well and so wonderfully. "my lust for word magic." ah, i love it!
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thanks for taking the time to read and even more for taking the time to share the joy of your love. Peace & Love, Tom B.
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'I slip from my world into yours' how brilliant it is to do this......and to become deeply aware that someone has allowed you this kind of intamacy that you may never achieve with those closest to you. Yes, I love that deep gut flipping moment when emotive words wrap themselves around your heart and are transformed into tears. I also thank the poets that allow us to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves through their art......may it long continue....Thanks tomisb
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When I wrote this it gave me a feeling of joy. As time goes on I am finding it speaks to a far wider audience than I had realized it would. This is a wonderful thing. Thanks for all your kind words. Peace & Love, Tom B.
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first line, second stanza: *to/a
hmmmmm. deep. I am glad you wrote notes on this poem. It sums up your message.
I find this very interesting. I am goinf through a simplicity stage: few words, deep meaning.
--this is what I look for when I read poetry.
But because what you're writing is not just pointless blabble, which I tend to find quite often, or rather, because it is organized thought that I can follow, your message is effectively conveyed.
On the fine line between quality and crap, this poem leans quality.
Heck, I like it. It's a good thinker
Thanx for the quality write.
-Pap.
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What matters is how conscious we are of the choices we make. When reading we can just lap it up whatever it may be. We can get the gist and check it as read, or we can engage, become vulnerable to the art and then we can demand a feast. Thanks for beginning to nibble on this one. Peace and Love, Tom B.
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Words
Poetry is for the hedonist who seeks more than salacious gratification.
Art speaks of creation and fills us with a deeper understanding
which makes us thankful for the poem that allows us to express it.
Very well stated, the power of words and intentions manifest.
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Thanks. I am glad that this touched your joy in reading.
Peace & LOve, Tom B.
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cricket
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oh my.
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Wow
This really is an excellent piece and I can certainly see why it was recommended for the Featured Spotlight. Loved the wonderful alliteration in this piece. Truly a pleasure to have read and enjoyed. ~Pamela
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Thanks thought something on reading should also be an example of what i love to read. I like haikus as well but it was difficult to show that too. Thanks for sharing the joy this brought to you with me. Love, Tom B.
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This was a beautiful decadent read.I'm an avid reader and books were my first love.They comfort me and give me great joy.Reading gives us so much to ponder and digest.When we read we are exploring that particular poet or novelist's perception.I would be lost with out my books.Your poem was a feast for my eyes.
~Helen
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I had fun writing this. I am glad you had fun reading it. I have read heavily since first grade. I could run raptous all over again. But instead please accept my thanks for so joyously sharing you love. Tom B.
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This has taken me a while to get to grips with. I am not usually a fan of too wordy descriptive stuff, but ithink it adds to this poem because of the subject. I had wanted to write about reading, how it grips and sucks you in, and love the comparison for lust, it suits well. The one but last stanza is the hookfor me, the joy of reading, especially poetry is the use of your own imagination and how it will never be seen or read in the same way by two different people.
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I think it was Robert Browning who said you read my poem and give it meaning it becomes your poem. If your meaning and mine are close than we share the poem and I can declare it as good. Thanks for struggling through and for finding joy in the piece I wrote. But most of all I appreciate you taking the time to share this with me.
Love, Tom B.
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deep and powerful write....amazingly put in! congrats for the honourable mention! flow was amazing too...basically i love everything in this piece!!!! Good Luck for ur future writes....Madhumita
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Thanks for the joy. It is always multiplied when shared. Peace & Love, Tom B.
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mmm, I like how you describe poetry as a sensual, physical event, something that actually reaches out instead of being lifeless words upon a screen. I liked the phrase "to listen to how each word breathes"
one thing that seemed a little jarring was "be spelled" I suppose I'm used to seeing that as "bespelled" but this is a minor critique. -
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Thank you for the kind words. I have always felt that art is an experience. If it does not create an experience for us then why should we care? Thanks for sharing we me the pleasure you found in this piece. Peace & Love, Tom B.
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'meaning empty' caught my eye, as I thought you were defining 'deserted' for a bit.
what does a roll sound like?
'luscious sensations' == cliche
same w/ tease & tantilize. Nice job with 'lust for word magic', now we're talking
provokes a sense of promise -> provokes a promise.
opportunity for perception -> with perception. Keep it shorter and more active if possible, less future-maybe tense.
cohesion of the whole - needs a comma or a newline after it.
'force me lockstep' felt redundant, and extra space after 'to'.
'so familiar it'... -> 'language that is dead on the tongue'.
choose not to be told VS Don't tell me, interesting choice.
nor == too olde english, felt out of place.
'when expression is' = wordy, just 'in coarse expression' maybe? Last stanza is all a bit long/wordy, try simplifying it some. Great meanings though...
Beautiful poem, I enjoyed it a lot which is why I was very nitpicky Lots of potential!
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words roll off the tongue. I guess it was a colloquilism i grew up with. I think it might come from theater. Never thought about it before. some of the others I will have to try out and rethink. Thanks for the critque. Peace & Love, Tom B.
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"I roll sounds across my lips,
seeking luscious sensations to tease and tantalize
my lust for word magic."
I have often tried to describe my passion for words to friends, by telling them I treat words as a fine wine, rolling them over my tongue to taste them. Your words are far more accurate, sensual, and lovely.
"Create for me such a palate of wonder that intoxicated and be spelled I slip from my world into yours to listen to how each word breathes."
You have done the very thing you describe, I only hope one day I can also achieve this!
I am bookmarking this finely crafted piece. It seems redundant to say but, well-done.
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The joy you share at my sensuous words makes the effort well worth the time. I love, Dylan Thomas, Whitman, Neruda, Baudelaire, Rambeau, Langston Hughes, Wallace Stevens, And ST. Vincent Benet. Their language is rich and lyrical, demands being read out loud. I am always thirst for this. I long to be filled by it.
I had been reading pieces on "why I write" and I thought well someone needs to speak to the yang and not just the yin so I spoke to the recieving, the one written for. You have made me feel filled with the joy you share you have recieved. what more could I, the writer, ask for? Be blessed.
Love, Tom B.
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I think the last line hits home for a lot of us.
I like your piece. I find it too stoic and verbal for my artistic taste, but the meaning behind it pleases me greatly. Also, I would like your permission to throw around my favorite line here while critiquing:
"Do not serve me language so familiar it lays dead upon the tongue."
That is one of my favorite things ever said.
Ever.
*swoon*
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As an artist you know we must pick a mode and style that we feel best allows us to make that statment. I can be very brief, highly lyrical, sensuous or combinations, but it is always about what I wish to communicate.
I am touched deeply that you took the time to share your adventure with my poem That you feel in love with my phrase is no small gift to me. You are always permited to use the line, if you cite me on occasion so much greater the gift.
Peace & Love, Tom B.
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"Wonder is not commanded, nor speechless awe produced
when expression is coarse, brutal or empty of devices to arouse the senses.
Poetry is for the hedonist who seeks more than salacious gratification.
Art speaks of creation and fills us with a deeper understanding
which makes us thankful for the poem that allows us to express it."
Wonderful penning, Poet. I am seduced by etymology at every turn of the page; originality is a must...depth of heart is mandatory. As a former librarian, reading is very dear to me; as one with a voracious appetite, I enjoy seeing it promoted by others, as well. You dance divinely with the language, my Friend. I'm not surprised by Carol's dedication to something she is well known for; her own writing is immaculate, consistently. Grand thoughts poured upon this page, Tom. Congratulations on your HM. Wanda
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Oh Wanda this was but a feast returned for gifts received from many words lustily read. I may never dance in the army of great writers but I certainly value all the gifts they have showered upon me.
Love,Tom B.
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How important to be read.... *smile*
This piece is a must read for anyone who loves language and poet's who know what it means.....
I have given you 300 points to promote this in any way you can...get it out there!!!!!
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