We recount our stories,
leaving out the pauses in the memories
where we can't fill in the blanks.
We keep going,
traveling along a path that diverges
and doubles back on itself
until we are stuck.
The colors and laughter swirl
into an ocean of confusion
that washes over our skin and leaves bruises.
We can't explain how it happened-
we have been gone for days,
floating somewhere above the Earth
in our own worlds of thought and reminiscence.
The road begins to straighten
slowly
and we start to come back into reality,
hovering in the distance
until the puddles of memory dry up,
releasing us into the cracked Earth.
Author notes
Written as a free-write, then turned into a poem and submitted to my school's literary magazine. I owe a thank you to my best friend and former Creative Writing teacher for their help with this.
Written October 16th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is definitely a great write. I'm pretty sure that the writting I have been reading on allpoetry has progressivly gotten better since I've joined. This deserves to be in your lit. mag.
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Very Nice
This is very nicely written. I love your half rhymes that almost lay hidden and waiting to surprise. When read aloud, it really has a nice affect and the hidden rhymes become more evident. The images you evoke are also very useful and strong. I do like the idea of becoming so wrapped up in your feelings that you feel as if you have been floating above the earth. Usually I am able to find something that I would change, but this is very well written, with very nice layers of meaning and also, I must say, seems very thought out. Well done.
j -
i like the imagery... it's different than a lot of the poems on here and the way you write it kinda makes me feel like i'm still in the dizzying swirl....
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Amazing!!! I often feel that I am caught up in the swirl - sometimes I think I just don't know how to drift back down into reality - into the present. This is wonderfully penned! Such a beautiful confrontation to the past... I truly enjoyed this piece!
[Line 14...thought] -
Wow that was awesome, really descriptive and pretty images. My kinda poetry
Nice one
Loved it
Mollxxxx -
interesting i liked it
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