When first i saw you i fell in love
Some girls they would drool
While others would shove.
To be your woman was my only gain
A wife to be And have your name.
You had beautiful brown eyes
And slicked dark hair
A firm puckered bum
That made women glare.
A stomach that rippled like
a six-pack of beer
A tanned hairy chest
And gold earring in ear.
Oh…. You where sexy then,
youthful and strong
Looking back my dear,
it’s been ten years too long.
In the afternoon when you rise out of bed
You stretch your arms, scratch your head
Break some wind and crudely said!
“Good old arse, I thought you where dead.”
You go to the bathroom
The mirror to view
Blood shot eyes
stare back at you.
Your once puckered bum
Becomes part of your thighs
Then I look at you and ask myself
WHY?...
Your hair has receded with every year
You’re once middle shade
Now parts from the ear.
Your stomach that
resembled a six-pack of beer
Is no longer there
It’s now a barrel my dear.
No more Mr Wonderful
that made women drool?
You’re like Homer Simpson
the a silly old fool!
Author notes
Bust A frigging nutt!
Men always complain about women who let themselves go after marriage and children. well this one is for all those men who let themselves go and this is where they end up take a look at you selves boys.!
Written October 15th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- ONE OR TWO OR THREE FOR THE LADIES(extended edition :) ) by tarcus.
555 points, ended July 10, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Whatever floats your boat.
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Had me cracking up! Hilarious, great write!
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gr8 one ......well i strongly support this believe of urs that men think women loose their charm after few years of marriage bt the fact is its bcoz of the company they r wid ....MEN...bcoz in their youth they stay wid their friends ...all pretty girls n so they luk charming n beautiful....bt wid men they bcome totally careless lik them........well all in all a very gud poem !!!
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lol you always manage to make me smile
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this is great
good job i enjoyed this alot
very funny also
goodluck in the contest =)
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This is really funny,
and very true!
I love it!
Good luck in your contest
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This is wonderful
Oh what a talent you are. This one is so great, I love it.
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HAHA, very nice, cute! heehee! Thanks for playin and good luck!
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While others would shove.
To be your woman was my only gain
why the fullstop/period after shove? ellipses too i notice here.
a good fun poem. i thank you kindly for entering your poetic piece and good luck to you in this contest - spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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wow this was funny and sad
i felt a mixture of emotions here
gret job -
*chuckles* And it's the fear of becoming this that makes some of us actually do something about it. Well said, and quite an amusing take on the issue it is!
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This is just great! How true that women tend to get the short end of the stick when it comes to "settling down" after marriage. Your piece has certainly turned the tables! Very well done - I snickered all the way through!
~Elora~
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Very entertaining! I love this thought, and it's so true! They aren't all male gibson after ten years of being married! LOL...very good.
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OMG!!!!
This is just fantastic!
it sounds like my dad! you have an amazing way with humour and im sure your husband is more than happy with this LOL!!!
wow, i just cant stop giggling!
Thankyou!
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ee' ken, thirs only yin answer tae this, am awa' tae hide yon mirror in the wee room, jist incase a see masell on a geed day. very funny indeed. love it.
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mike howes
Thanx for your comment, i hope this doesn't apply to you.lol. do i detact a little scotish accent there. thanx for your applause its much appreciated. Slán Dolores.
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a light-hearted funny piece of poetry here, a nice little beat going on there with it - just a note on the ellipses - to use them correctly it is three dots - it is a pet peeve of mine, i am seeing them used incorrectly so often it hurts lol - thank you for sharing your poetic piece with us, spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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Very funny write!
Bejaysus that was really funny...who gave you my description..that's what I want to know!...great poem ...very funny -
Hi americaniniraq, thank you so much for the comment, but really6 my hubby doesn't look like that thank god!! i passed on your spitritul message. i believe in Angels and pray to them everyday, they never have refused a request i have asked of them. are you a solider? Re:your name. Slan Slan Tsol.
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Excellent and Fun
Now Now I resemble those remarks. Very well written, It tis true men complain about a woman letting her self go. But it really never bothered me. I hope the site of him doesn't bother you -
thanx so much for your comment. Tsol x
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Glad i got you laughing, we are(women) always the centre of the jokes so i thought i'd get my own back on the PERFECT!! Not!!! boy's thanks for the comment.
Dolores x -
It's so true. Looks count for nothing. They fade. I wish more people would remember that. I'll tell you something, I have some ugly friends (I love them, but they know the truth) but they are the nicest people I know. I'd be happy to end up with any one of them.
Thanks for jesting at the pettiness of youth. -
Nicely done! Silly guys. We should demand that guys have to keep up their appearance at no matter what age! Haha. Take care. ~Mel~
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*dies laughing* omfg that is hilarious! WELL DONE AND PLEASE WRITE SOME MORE! that was hilarious...I am still dying laughing...wow...lol
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