The sun has risen for a day I shall dread,
Today has come and I shall dress the dead.
I so love you dad, you were the best,
I shall prepare you for your lasting rest.
I mourn for you, for you shall sleep eternity in your bed.
A fridge holding life's gift,
This is where fact is no myth.
Death no longer hides it's fermenting stench,
Your bare body lays upon the iron bench.
Your frozen in time, your souls in heaven to freely drift.
This shall be your last razors shave,
This haunted image my mind shall save.
Disease has eaten , there's nothing left of you,
You suffered, I am so sorry there was nothing I could do.
Your warmth, mind and smile I shall always crave.
No more pain etched upon your face,
You are free from life's unkind race.
I dress you into your burial suit,
You lay so cold and mute.
This is my last kiss goodbye, as I place you into your wooden case.
Author notes
OPTION 1
A memory I shall never forget
RIP DAD passed away 8-04-2006
Written October 14th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- In memory of those you miss :) by LeilaJayne.
300 points, ended August 4, 2008, 28 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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once more, thank you for your entry. I am sorry for your loss, I knw it must have been a hard one.
Thanks again. and good luck. -
First off i just want to say that I am very sorry for your loss. Its hard to lose someone close. I agree with Side Salad it is very hard to comment on these writes because they are so personal. I hope you got some closure being able to write this poem. I know that I dont know you, but if you need anyone to talk to im here. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampireblood~~~ -
Excellent
It's hard to comment on these writes - simply the experience itself is so emotional so personal - criticism is left redundant. If I am to take the poem as a poem - I would say it is uneven in places, but the sheer ability to put something down, so raw, so personal, so haunting means that the imperfections are meaningless and I can only say, wow!
What a brave and honest piece of writing
James -
Wow what a powerful piece. It was extremely well written and the emotion behind it was well conveyed. You did a good job with this poem.
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Wow...This is amazing. Sorry to hear about your loss. You're in my thoughts and prayers...
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I'm surprised you can talk about your loss in this way, I know it's painful. I wish you the best, thank you for sharing this.
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Great poem
I am so sorry to hear this,I will say a prayer for you,and your father!This is a very great piece of work,very sad to,but alot of emotion,God bless you!And,very well written nicely done!I liked it very much so,I bet your father is looking down thinking what a beautiful written poem and how much he loves you and misses you!Lisa K Haslett Raytown Missouri!
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