I sit here with the razor you gave me,
Pressing it into my flesh,
I know when I’ve cut beyond a scratch,
When I feel the flesh beneath it rip.
The sharp pain,
And twisted desire,
Making me who I am,
Maybe not who you want me to be,
But you’ll never make me change.
I sit here with the plastic I stole,
Digging it into my leg,
I cut out a chunk of flesh,
And the blood begins to flow.
The aching pain,
And morbid fascination,
This is the monster I have become,
The monster that once you loved,
Turns out I’m not who you thought I was.
I lay here with this kitchen knife,
Thinking of what I could do,
Remembering my promises,
Worthless once I’m dead.
The stunning desire,
And yearning for Death,
Pressing the blade against my wrist,
Pausing now to remember,
All that I’m leaving behind.
I stand now with you on my mind,
Knowing that I love you,
Wondering if it’s worth it,
To get rid of this chronic pain.
The quiet uncertainty,
And questions unanswered,
Too many voices yelling out loud,
Too many choices all at once,
I drop the blade and flee in my mind.
I drift now in silent darkness,
Forgetting where I am,
My body is in a coma,
But inside my mind I am free.
The soft, caressing darkness,
Finally getting some sleep,
Now my pain is gone,
Then something reminds me of you,
And pain flares in my heart.
It turns out that nowhere is safe….
Author notes
I used options 2,3,4, and 5.....
Written October 14th, 2006
A contest entry
- Dark, Angst, Cutting,Morbid, Suicide, Depression by -Tears Of Pain-.
1000 points, ended November 13, 2006, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Oo the scars that one must live with.. having such an affliction.. constant reminders of the pain.. I like it
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thank you
i hadn't actually read this poem in forever, i had quite forgotten about it
thank you for reminding me that exists and for liking it
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I sit here with the plastic I stole,
Digging it into my leg,
I cut out a chunk of flesh,
And the blood begins to flow.
thats how it goes it think..one problem after the other. nice job with writing this. enjoyed.
blu
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you do know you've commented on this before, right?
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no..i didnt know that.
blu -
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you did...scroll down, you can see it
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I know how you feel......nice poem
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OMG! I was like I wrote this poem about what I'm going through!! I loved this with everything I have!! It reminded me so much of me that it was scary...And that's what I wanted...A poem that would remind me of myself...you did a great job!!!
good luck in the contest!!
~^&Sara&^~ -
It's okay then. I hate people who say that I'm too young to know what love is, too young to be able to love someone on a real level, too naive to know life after heartbreak. They don't know what I feel, so they can't tell m I don't love him.
Peace
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i don't beieve anyone is too young to fall in love...i did when i was thirteen...
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Ouch, this poem hurts. I can relate to this, at least to a certain degree. I started cutting when I split with this guy I loved (yes, I did love him, I am not too young to fall in love, if thats what you were thinking) and it's just turned into something whenever I'm upset.
It is an excellent write, and nowhere will ever be safe as long as you are your own worst enemy.
Peace
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very sad. try places without sharp objects or things that could make sharp objects.
seriously, drop the knife.
talk about it and maybe it will help you. hope it works out for you. good job. sad read but good.
blu -
pretty much, this is how i always feel.....
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nice poem.......but who are you talking about......if nowhere is safe then go there......what are you waiting for.......or is it, who are you waiting for.......anyways this is courtney......i'm really sorry, i truly am........i didn't know what to do, so i did the only thing i ever know how to do when i freak out......i will tell you but not this way, and not now.........i really miss you even though its only been two days, but thats not the point.....i really miss you and i really love you....i dont know why im saying this but i am and you better get better, or else.......i think i scared everybody at tesias, i dont know, but they wouldn't let me in a room by myself.......anyways when i said i was scared shitless, thats because of what i have i hurt physicaly and emotionaly and i dont know what to do and i dont want to talk to a therapist, and i think i scared chris, but anyway i feel like im dead i cant feel a thing and sometimes i wish i could, but i cant and i freaked out even more and lost it on chris and started laughing because of my pitiful and selfish little actions, but others may think that they werent i dont know, all i know is that i love you and want to be with you no matter what, you are my world and that will never change, i will allways love you, and i will always not know how to spell all the english words correctly........i love you....goodbye.
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Is this how u feel???
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