Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

lands long ago

Once upon a time when the world was new


People were different to both me and you


Still in the glow of cosmic light


The Earth Sparkled such a Magical sight

 


Upon this Earth that was nearly all land


Lived four nations and this was the plan


Divided even for each to stay


all went well until this one sad day

 


Queen Madeline ruled to the North


She heard of the unrest and sent a delegation forth


Queen of the fairies with gossamer wings


They travelled with gifts, trinkets and things.

 


The lands to the South where full of woods


With trees that watched and Trolls with hoods


Mogo the king troll ruled with an Iron fist


But his bark had as much substance as a swampy mist

 


To the south were the Lowers that walked on all paws


Strange looking animals that lived with strange laws


The Body of a cat yet their fur was bright Pink


They talked with a growl and didn't blink

 


Then to the west was a powerful race


Humanoid in form but fuller of face


In tune with the magic that flowed in the air


They lived in their own world with out a care

 


Now the Trolls to the East and the Lowers in the south


Had started an argument after running off at the mouth


Calling a Lower a Substandard Beast


With the breath of a lemon encased in yeast


Who said what to whom and why


was long since lost when the delegation came by

 


Stones were launched and claws were out


By now each side had forgotten what it was about


The Queen made camp on the Boarder of East and South  


And sent forth messengers to tell by word of mouth

 


To King Mogo and the leader of the lowers named Fudd


To meet together deep in the enchanted Wood


As the life light from the fairies did blaze  


Lighting the wood with a bluish haze

 


The Trolls from the East entered the wood


They marched in a line all covered with hoods


The Lowers Slinked Passed the trees


As There long pink fur wavers in the breeze

 


Until they met at the Morlock tree


Where they starred  at each other uneasily


Queen Madeline fluttered her wings


And flew in to the centre to calm down things

 


Now Mogo and Fudd what is this all about


What is worth all this fighting and doubt


They started he said, they picked on our height


That's a Lie said Fudd they started the fight

 


Well, said the queen I'm ending it this very night


And with a wave of her arm there shot such a Light


The flash sparked a bang that thundered above


then out of the sky rained down fairy love

 


and in there posetion to there surprise


were the twin rings of compassion and compromise.


Author notes

Written October 14th, 2006

In a list

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • MoonStar005
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    Great idea!
    Just a few things:
    In verse 10 you switch from past tense to present tense and then in verse 11 you switch back to past tense.
    And it would be easier to read if there were quotation marks when people are speaking.
    And again, in verse 12 you say "there" instead of "their"

    Great poem and rhyme!


  • Net
    August 25
    Edit | Reply
    You tell a good tale!

    I enjoyed this very much. thankyou

  • Successful

    Nice poems and nice way to express it through a voice of a tree

    Special one deserves

  • Ammal
    August 3
    Edit | Reply
    hey, amazing! check mine out thankx


  • Ellis gold member
    July 29

    Edit | Reply
    "Why can't we all just get along?" Of course the pink guys in the South are always right.

    Tiki Cat
    Buy Tiki's Gourmet Cat Food
    "Too Good For Humans"

  • What a delightful poem!

    You do make my day worthwhile!


  • Titus gold member
    May 23
    Edit | Reply
    very enjoyable story, and for me, I usually keep away from them, I love trolls by the way.


  • fathom me
    March 25

    Edit | Reply
    It was so much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I felt like i was a kid eagerly eagerly waiting to get part by part an installment of this story everyday! Thoroughly enjoyed it! Maybe I am a kid :-)
    Great endline.


  • AnnD Moderators member
    March 18

    Edit | Reply
    oooooh BRAVO BRAVO!! I want more. this was just wonderful.


    Ann


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    October 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I write Children’s stories but I didn’t think it was very good I felt out of my depth a little thanks for the encouragement


  • wishintreeUK
    October 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    This is brilliant! this is the first poem of this kind I have read of yours... if there are more, then it won't be the last! you should put this in a book, children would be spellbound listening to it being read, or enjoy reading it themselves.
    Loved this bit, it made me smile:
    Calling a Lower a Substandard Beast
    With the breath of a lemon encased in yeast


    Also, this reminds me very much of how things are today:
    Who said what to whom and why
    was long since lost when the delegation came by

    much like two countries falling out over something today, it goes on and on until both sides have long forgotten what the fight was all about in the first place.

    I enjoyed this immensley, well done!

    ~Katie~


  • Veronica Leigh
    October 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is really clever! I liked a lot! The rhyming wasn't forced at all and the entire poem/story flowed very well. Thank you for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck!

1 - 12 of 12