Love!
I will not trust it again.
Love!
I will not trust it, and
I will not be so quickly seduced by its guise.
In fact...
...I will hear it.
I will hear it!
Through all the crackle
of a two-hour phone conversation.
I will hear it!
In those unwhispered words
That unknowingly reach my ear.
I will hear it
And I will be galliant to gag it.
Before it speaks to me again.
...I will see it.
I will see it!
While it tries to remain concealed
Behind a gorgeous set of eyes.
I will see it!
When it perches itself
On a pair of perky breasts.
I will see it
with a military mind
set to seek and destroy.
...I will capture it.
I will capture it!
Not like a bug collector
dressed with fancy suit and net.
I will capture it!
Like a child with a jar
Sneaking up and snapping the lid shut.
I will capture it
And subject it to to interogation
But the glare comes solely from my eye.
...I will cage it.
I will cage it!
But I will not clip its wings
For it must suffer knowing limitations
I will cage it!
And I will take its picture
And plaster its wanted posters on the town.
I will cage it!
And place it so deep beneath the ground
That only Demons will dare to view it.
But, the question is...
Will I feed it?
Author notes
Just getting stuff out. What do you think?
Written October 14th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Amazingly Natural Flow of words
beautiful free verse with so much to say. The concept of letting your guard down, or being taking in. You have done an amzaing job on this piece...and getting ou of a relationship.....write on!....ennovy
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Hey Richa:
Thanks for the comments. Things are doing what they will do. I don't know what they are going to do though. Time will tell, when it wants to.
Anyhow, thanks for the comments. I am glad that you enjoyed this one. No suggestions??! Come on, that isn't like you. LOL
Talk to you soon.
John -
hm...
always here John... hope things are sorting themselves out...
write once in a while sweetie... and take care
btw, the emotions are raw, and jagged in this poem... i actually liked i -
ah yes u r right. there is imagery here, but it's overpowered a little but all your overt statemnts and that weaknes them a little from my perspective. i'm guilty of the same weaknesses in my own poetry so i giess that's why i'm pointing it out to you. perhaps i'm just pointing it out to myself, lol.
thanks for your kind response to my insensitive remarks. -
LOL you are too funny. Well, have a drink for me too and we will be just fine. NO CRAFT!!! Come on now...be nice. No imagery...how cruel!
Just kidding.
Have a good day. -
I am glad you liked it. Thanks for the comment.
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Thank you for the comments. I appreciate your critique.
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oh well, it's just getting stuff out of your system isn't it? there's no craft or sense of imagery or balance or insight in this. it's just an outpouring, with a tinge of poetry atached to it, a a whole lot of emotion & self-pity.
it probably didn't take much time or effort for you to write it, which may be why i didn't really warm to it very much.
but then i'm drunk (!) so what would i know, lol.
seriously - all the best to you. i hope things work out ok, eventually.
oh dear, i hope i haven't been too harsh. just disregard my words. i'm a harsh jusge of poetry and i rarely say good things about poetry unless it really moves me and the writing shows that the poet spent years working on it. -
very good
i like the way you enchanced your actions
by using the senses
hear, see, capture (feel), feed (hunger), speak (sound)
an interesting take on a basic human emotion (love)
and, also, the ending
survival (will i feed it?) -
Beautiful!!!
very very good...very realistic and true to life... i think it is a very soulful and heartfelt poem... ur words and grasp u and just refuse to leave... very nice i loved the way u wrote... i mean, i havent seen sumthin like this befor... very well done...keep up the good work, love and cheers, shuvi -
Thanks for the critique. I appreciate it.
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Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate your comments.
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Thanks for the comment. Does it have any poetic merit though?
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Very nice piece, filled with your emotions. Nice rhythm and flow and your thoughts are captivating. Great work, keep your pen forever flowing!
Bunny
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Love is fickle at times, and eludes many for a long time. Just when we think we are in love, we find that the one we love does not return our feelings, and we have to start all over again. Many times we are heart broken, so do not want to try it again. Sounds like this is that time, where love was lost, and now you are hesitant about finding it again. Easy to read and understand; sentiments well expressed in these lines. Good to get the stuff out rather than keeeping it inside where it eats away at one's soul and makes life miserable. Keep writing...
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i think this is great, Its quite obvious in your poem that something bad has happenend to you recently... and you obviously very upset....and youve channeled your emotions into this very nice poem,...good job
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