and that's when
I said goodbye.
strangling the bitter silence
I gently placed my hand under yours
and cooed sincere questions
into your empty sharp eyes.
I forgot my enthusiasm
along with my name.
your twiggly outline
shook my
cold corpse.
don't you know?
I'm still d r e a m i n g
the sheets are damp.
and there's a gun in my hands.
please don't hurt me.
Author notes
First poem I've written in a while.
Written October 13th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Really good job with this. It makes me think of someone who killed a person, and then is crazy and thinks that person is going to hurt them. Like in Edgar Allen Poe's story of the heart under the floor board. Great style, and overall it was a good vision piece with many deeper meanings and illusions.
Blessed be,
LeFay -
Very good
Very descriptive I agree it was different and really painted a picture. -
this is really good. we haven't talked in so long. but yeah, this poem is really amazing and thoughtful, the emotions in it are weird though, but the words are really beautiful and the whole idea is too. great job.
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Very different indeed, mixed with many emotions, I really enjoyed reading this thanks for sharing, lovely work.
MxA
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I thought this was amazing. The mix of emotions and the sensations that ran through me while i read were awesome. Your writing is very thoughtful and this piece is beautiful.
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