And on that field and in that hour
Figures emerged of the darkest power
Those whose names were lost to time
Whose hands with darkness did entwine
Eyes a sparkle with cold contempt
Countenance of evil like something dreamt
Apparitions floating in dusky stillness
Undeterred from cause relentless
And past the stream and through the brook
A valiant vow they undertook
With hands gone weary, cold and old
Hands of the young, those of the bold
To leave the hills and mountain lair
To leave the woodland, green and fair
To pluck the stars from whence they ride
Unleash a fury long to abide
The tyranny and dominion of ancient foes
Whose rule nobody had dared to oppose
When light and shadow danced on the plain
And shadow in cunning did the upper hand gain
Flesh was reaved from bone with claw
Hearts devoured in a ravaging maw
When screams in terror silenced the night
Lost souls condemned to unforeseen plight
They strode the earth, the grass bent low
The light shall reap though the darkness sow
A conquest foretold in tale and song
Was awaited patiently, awaited long
For travesties and horrors long had they bore
No longer the afflicted would have to endure
For prophecy and hope in their warriors vested
Would vanquish their demons though they'd be sorely tested
And to that field did the warriors come
To face their opponents and defeat them as one
Grand battle was engaged with steel and thunder
The earth itself was rent asunder
Spells lashed out screaming defiance in rages
An epic battle spoken of through the ages
When finally the dust settled on that day
A promise long made did justly repay
The toils and labours of a forgotten race
Who once more reclaimed their rightful place
In casting down their enemies born of dark
Thus overcoming the insidious mark
Of a stark devastation wrought on their land
Through honouring the vow of a final stand
They threw off the mantle of a faceless slave
Everafter their names did history engrave...
Author notes
My inspiration is various fantasy novels I've read, including A Wizard of Earthsea, books by David Gemmel, the Dragonlance series etc.
Regards
Previn
Written October 13th, 2006
A contest entry
- Give me your best ! by vasi.
700 points, ended March 10, 2007, 123 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling All Rhyming Story Tellers! by Sgt B.
525 points, ended May 28, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sick of being Serious! by Dageek2.
350 points, ended August 16, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MY HUMONGOUSLY AWESOME KINDAH FANTASY CONTEST! by HarvesterOfHearts.
700 points, ended September 7, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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i love this piece it is just the typeof fantasy i love. i crave. it wa so dark and mysterious. and told a story. i love it when poems tell a story! this is exactly wha i look for in a fantsy poem. it has all the attributes!
best wishes
~lostelvenchild
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Good job! Good luck in the contest~!
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Loved this Story!
The flow was effortless, rhyme was great. Great job! Thank you for entering it. -
I thought it flowed pretty well and it was well written but for some reason I just found it too drag on somewhat. ( Sorry I mean no offense by it.) Maybe I wasn't too into the topic. I felt there was a lot of strong lines though that really helped the poem. If you need me to point them out tell me so when you message me for your score. Make sure to include the name of your poem. Thanks for entering.
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You are a very talented writer. Amazing! this magical theme, this dark place, wondering about in it's midst. Beautifully written.
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Milady your praise humbles me. Thank you kindly!
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First I wondered what this had to do with a missing muse. Then I saw how long it was and sighed. I am so glad I didn't pass this up for either reason!
I believe I got inspiration from many lines of this poem. Regardless of my muse or lack thereof, your poem is remarkably inspirational and encouraging for me. I loved the rhyme you used which just made the entire piece beautifully drawn together, and the form was perfect for it. I don't believe I've ever read this long a poem in this form and enjoyed it as much as this one. Thank you so very much for entering this in my contest. You are truly a great poet. Hugs, Patricia -
V.Good
Tales of the People - The Prophecy Children by Loremaster
First off I would like to thank you and everybody who entered my competition since it can take a lot of effort to write certain poems and some this time around have been impressive. All the entries have been carefully looked at by myself and ‘the dude’, so you can rest assured my normal double marking regime is still in place from my previous competitions, nice and fair averaged straight down the middle.
I am not sure but I think ‘Singer from the Sea’ might be one of your inspirations and perhaps one David Gemmell’s various fantasy novels, Druss the Axeman books maybe. I have not read the ‘A Wizard of Earthsea’ but I will see if my library has a copy since I like reading different authors. Your poem was very descriptive and I enjoyed reading, soaking the details you must of considered a lot.
Good luck and remember my view is not the force of divinity in this competition, so if I really praise you that’s no guarantee.
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The rhyme rhythm word choice all beautifully done. You have a wonderfull talent in creating imagery. Keep writing all well done once again this was another remakable write.
A
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I am in awe. Well written, and portrayed. I was swept away from my desk at work into this land of magic. I very much enjoy fantasy and have read Earthsea - all books and seen the movie. Love this poem. I wish you every ounce of good luck in this contest
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A wonderful poem with excellent rhyme and flow a joy to read Thank you and good luck in the contest
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Thank you kindly, your praise humbles me!
Really appreciate the feedback. -
Thank you so much, I really appreciate the feedback!
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Thanks for sharing this, it's a fascinating read and captures the mood of fantasy well. Great imagery and a rivetting story.
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This is an exceptionally well-written with wonderful flow that adds greatly to the power of your words. I wish i could in my own words tell you how great this piece is without having to borrow from others.What an intricate piece,
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i prefer the harder science fiction to fantasy but i do have a lot fo fantasy books here, robin hobb and the like, a great piece here, darkly wonderful. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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Thank you!
I appreciate all the commentary, it really helps.
Take care.
Previn -
This is such a fantastic poem!!!!! Well described throughout and creates some excellent imagery too! The rhymes are consistent and therefor create an effortless rhythm too! well written! Blissful Princess
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