Down the rabbit hole
Stuck in a place I cannot escape
Thorns shoot pain through me
Trapping fear in my soul
Watch me as I am torn apart
Zombies and ghouls
Matter not in the spiraling HELL
Take my breath away
Drain me from this WORLD
I am going down
The loop-hole of endless worlds
Where am I gonna end up?
When will I escape this death?
TAKE me....
Take....
TAKE me away....
Take....
Taken...away....
Watch me as I am torn apart
Zombies and ghouls
Matter not in the spiraling HELL
Take my breath away
Drain me from this WORLD
Needles and blades tear through
Bone's severed as I bleed to death
Everything, drowning in pain
Blood is spurting everywhere!
Tumbling South of Heaven
Claws tearing me inside
Something is trying to break free
Shattering what was my heart
Watch me as I am torn apart
Zombies and ghouls
Matter not in the spiraling HELL
Take my breath away
Drain me from this WORLD
Watch as this poor soul is torn to shreds by Nightmares, and cry yourself to sleep knowing that he is being ripped to pieces by the decisions you made. He was only trying to love you and you send him down the tunnel South of Heaven. He loved you and now he is shrouded by your lies and pain. Shadows reach in and make him bleed. Devils are slicing him as you only laugh at his pathetic cries. Hope you are happy making an innocent die...
AN INNOCENT DIE!!!!
Watch me as I am torn apart
Zombies and ghouls
Matter not in the spiraling HELL
Take my breath away
Drain me from this WORLD
Watch me as I am torn apart
Zombies and ghouls
Matter not in the spiraling HELL
Take my breath away
Take me naught South of Heaven!
Author notes
I was trying to not be as gruesome as possible. It ain't my thing....
The most gruesome I got was probably the person talking and the verse before that.
Written October 13th, 2006
A contest entry
- All Hallows Eve Deviance by Xxxxxxxxx.
666 points, ended October 24, 2006, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Celebrating 150 by intanglio2ring.
750 points, ended May 23, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
And I used to love the South!
I enjoyed the line: Take me not South of Heaven
You rendered a real feel for the absence of grace & a loss of well being.
Deeply felt like an ache!
Thanks for your entry & Good Luck in my contest!
Tang
-
Loved it! Your a wondeful poet! Good luck in your contest! My favorite lines were "
Watch me as I am torn apart
Zombies and ghouls
Matter not in the spiraling HELL
Take my breath away
Drain me from this WORLD
Needles and blades tear through
Bone's severed as I bleed to death
Everything, drowning in pain
Blood is spurting everywhere!
Tumbling South of Heaven
Claws tearing me inside
Something is trying to break free
Shattering what was my heart
Watch me as I am torn apart
Zombies and ghouls
Matter not in the spiraling HELL
Take my breath away
Drain me from this WORLD" I know that's a lot of lines to like, but this poem was very well written!
. Take care 
-
Whaddya know, someone who reads the box.
I had to incorporate some old Metal song name somehow... And south of heaven seemed perfect. -
Attempting to as gruesomeless as possible or not,it is still brutal. reading it makes me think of betrayal buy some saviour and cast aside to the bowels of hell.
(love the Slayer homage in the title)
thanks again for entering
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