Living in the moment,
loving for all time.
Wanting every second
never to unwind.
Love me, leave me, hurt me, miss me?
Give me what you think I need.
Come back to me and love me true,
please don't make me plead.
It's difficult living down here,
walking on my knees.
Give me a little credit
for it's you I want to please.
Never did I ask
a single thing of you.
I just wanted to be loved
and held a time or two.
You left me to my sadness
because you don't have to be alone.
You didn't bother to write
and God forbid you use the phone.
It amazes me now
just how empty I can feel.
It came as no surprise
it was my heart you did steal.
Where did I go wrong
allowing you in my life?
I'll never wear your ring...
you already have a wife.
Author notes
Written October 13th, 2006
Nicole Cudworth
A contest entry
- break my ♥ again, bby. by juliex-exotic shine.
350 points, ended August 19, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
incredible
your poetry is such on a more higher emotional level than mine..and very well written..
much respect
mensch!
-
wow
good twist on the end!!
This is an amazing write, and I know a lot of people deal with this
thanks for entering my contest =) -
Wow strong poem. I asked that all poems were personal becasue I think it gives it more character. You done this very well and I seen you through your words. This is a great poem. Thank you for entering and for your kind words on my word. Take care and good luck int he contest x
-
excellent
Very touching poem with a message for all. very well written. It grabs me and brings me in close for the feeling of the write. I must say, you do have a way with words. -
Ummm, it's probably best for me to keep my comments to myself on this subject, because lord knows I'm no saint! I don't need everyone else to know, too! As for the poem, I thought it was beutiful. Words do not have to be complicated to exude true emotion. I'm assuming that Ocerus said something about the simplicity of the poem. I don't know for sure as it seems it's been deleted. But I loved it.
-
Excellent
Nicole,
Wow, what crawled up ocerus' leg and bit him in the balls?
I think this is a fine poem with universal appeal, written in a wonderful feminine voice, showing true feelings. True feelings, honest and full of emulation are to be admired. Do not let fuddy duddies like the above critic's critique bring you down. It does serve the purpose of thickening up your skin a little, but poets are sensitive by nature in order to write from the heart, which you have done, and a little toughening up goes a long way. Anything, anything we write that is honest is worthy of being called poetry, some styles lend themselves to the "tune of the day" more than others. We are, after all the conscious voice of society, and as such, our only caveat is to speak the truth as we see it. Pen on poet, unafraid, unpretentious and true! Bob
-
Fantastic !!!
I love the feeling and the emotions expressed in ur poem... and the way u wrote it as well... great work... keep up the good work, love and cheers, shuvi -
Thanks so much for the compliment... wasn't really sure after the comment I got from ocerus but I guess we can't please everyone! Oh well. Thanks for reading and commenting as I'm sure you had lots of entries
-
This is lovely piece! this poem explains it all cause I know where u are coming from but I'm sure things will get better!
keep up the good work and thanks for entering my contest!
GRACE -
Nicole....Read the poem....captivating,carried me through from start to end, and the last line~~~~ a beautiful twist to stir the mind.
Then read the first comment ...."sophomoric." ... for anyone to even bother contemplating using such a WANKING term spells total self indulgence to me....comments such as were made should be treated with the deepest compassion ~~~ for the obviously self - deluded person that made them.
Anyhow....enjoyed the read, thanks for posting it and thanks for the snippets of your life that you give us all.
Alan. -
Awesomely wrote.. again!!
I find this piece very relative to a situation at hand.. I think your writing is and always has been captivating.. Keep up the good work.. don't let Ocerus get to ya.. has he lived? has he experienced the things that this relates to??? or is he the married man that this should be titled to? -
Thankyou so much for your comment on my poem Deception! I really like this peice you have written, especially the last stanza - I had an interesting married man experience myself recently.... Luckily I got out of it pretty much unscathed though. Don't pay any attention to what ocerus had to say about it - obviously not blessed with an overabundance of intellegence!
By the way, I noticed that on your profile you mention you are saving to go to Ireland? Me too - I am obsessed with Ireland and all things Irish.... My friend and I plan to travel there in July next year - I can't wait!
Cheers! -
I liked the poem, I found it sad and touching, to the point and sincere. Ocerus obviously seems to think that ones form of expression should get more complicated with age, I wonder how he will be talking/writing when he's 50 (probably noone will be able to understand him by then. Heck, he might not even be able to understand himself, lol)
Dont let him get to you. He seems to think too highly of his command of the language but I've read his work and I can best him in a duel of words though why bother, its just energy expended in fruitless pursuits.
Keep up the writing and I will keep reading.
Regards
Previn -
Well, aren't you just a sweetheart! Thanks for your support.
-
bastard. Truly, I'd probably kick him in the groin one or fifty times.
-
Okay here's the thing. I am a 27 year old law enforcement officer in Indiana. I have quite a bit of "worldly experience" and if you find my work so "sophomoric" then just don't read it. As it happens this particular piece is something I really liked.
I understand that you must be so very intelligent in this world and in love to tell me to concentrate on something I know about. I would greatly appreciate if you would keep your crappy comments to yourself and if you have something actually constructive to say then feel free to let it flow, otherwise don't read my work.
Thanks so much and have a great night! -
Umm, this is entirely too simplistic to really be considered seriously. It truly comes off as quite sophomoric. My impression is that you are quite young. If you are, as I suspect, I would suggest you concentrate on things you know something about and not try to delve deeply into things you are inexperienced about. - oce
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
