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*Slipping Satin*

Slipping Satin

Oh the pain that
fills the world
sliding out as
Slipping
Satin

Oh the pain of
children’s
cries

Bearing

p
 a
   i
     n

        untold

Slipping
Satin take my
pain away
into the
night


Children crying in their
room seek freedom
from their
pain

Parents that would
take their lives
and send them
to their
graves

Tortured by those that they
loved knowing no
other way

Slipping Satin take me there
to where I’ll
feel no
pain

 Valerie Peterson Brown  

Author notes

Just this morning on the news there was a mother that smothered her 9 month old twins because they were crying, she then turned over and went back to sleep.

A man that had kept his nime year old son imprisioned, no school, medical attention, only allowed to go to the bathroom once a day, if he had to go more he was told to hold it.

Such pain and horror for parents to inflict. It is inhumane.
Children do not deserve this treatment.
Written October 12th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Found an Angel
    December 8, 2006
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    I like it but I would have liked the emotion in it to be stronger.


  • SilverButterfly gold member
    December 6, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I can hardly bare to read these kind of stories anymore. Not because I do not care, but because I feel so helpless as what to do but pray for everyone involved. It tears at my very being to hear of yet another child abused, torchered or even worse..killed because of bullies and such.
    Thank you for posting this to keep me aware that it goes on still. GBY


  • Tam
    December 6, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Oh...how very sad and powerful!!

    Such a sad reflection on mankind...the world today...how children are discarded as though objects...
    Your write is powerful and touching...revealing hard truths many would prefer to simply pretend do not exist. You have tackled a painful and truth filled topic with grace...very well done.
    Blessings! Tammy


  • -LilacThOughts- gold member
    December 6, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Extremely sad to read...I don't have children as yet, and I had a very loving upbringing, so it is hard to grasp that there are mothers and fathers out there producing young, bringing innocents into the world to torture and kill...this brings a lump to my throat to read...I do know it goes on but I haven't personally come across it in my life, only what I read...there are so many childless couples that desperately want children and can't, it doesn't seem fair does it?

    A very moving poem you have written and along with your notes tells a tragic message...

    All the best
    ~Lilac~


  • WolfHeart
    December 6, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    So Moving!

    I was one of these children and thinking of it happening to others just breaks my heart. Thank you for pointing out this heinous problem that we might be more aware. Your technicals were fine - but your story was riveting...just so painful to read. This was done with skill and passion. Excellent!

    hugs Wolfie


  • Molassis
    December 5, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Emotional... moving.. heartbreaking... wow.

    I can't believe parents hurt their children like this... I just don't understand how or why they could... kind of makes you wonder what they went through as children...

    I like the thought of slipping satin... it really fits in this piece...

    My goodness what a sad poem... I like the way you gave emphasis to certain parts of this... makes it more powerful...


  • ShelleyA gold member
    December 4, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Powerful

    Hi Valerie. There are no words. A heartrending write and message. Strong alliteration. Very good imagery, flow and tone. Deep expression of pain and sadness. Vivid descriptives. You have captured the horror of parents taking the lives of their children, children who don't deserve this abuse, and yet we see more of this every day. A moving piece. Well crafted. Shelley


  • annamoy
    December 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Sad but so true.

    You have said so much in this short poem, without the need for graphic details. We only have to read the tabloid newspapers or watch TV for that. I like the layout, it adds to the tension and sensitivity of the poem and the background is so beautiful. Well done.

    Ann

  • meena krish
    December 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I cannot understand how parents have the heart to do
    such things to their own flesh and blood! Its outrageous and
    painful to know that there are still children out there who
    suffer and die when they have to be treasured and cherished. A moving write..
    take care.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    October 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Valerie~ this is heart-wrenching~ no child deserves to be neglected or disaffected,abused or used and any explanation is an excuse for abuse~ my soul cries for all those beaten,mistreaten,filled to the brim with low self esteem til it has the urge to escape by the soul wrenching scream that says why,why,why, forget the lie of the alibie,there is no why just what came to be as a result of an abusive reality~ and I have heard the children who have grown and are now women and men,they tell me of their chasms of pain and memories from which they are unable to refrain,and let no one dare blame God and ask just where was He,for gave man free will and therefore personal responsibility~ thankyou for sharing your caring~ love and light,Yvette


  • M0ofi3
    October 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    What is equally horrendous is how those who survive such parents will probably grow up to be like them, for that was their first impression of how people should be. They will either grow to live in fear or apathetic to the needs of others. This is our legacy of sin passed on to our progeny.

    The answer against the apathy of this world is the love of God that can change even such dark souls as these. This love can be found in His Son.

    Your write is eloquent and timely. May it provoke the reader to seek the solution so close at hand, for those who need such.

    May the Lord protect the innocent and defenseless...


  • Momma Majeski
    October 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    perfect

    sometimes parents just dont understand what it takes to be a child nowadays... and i dont say this because im still young and im rebeling.. things arent the way they used to be.. everyone isnt nice and there is more stress in the world.. and parents just add onto that.. beautiful poem


  • Haunted Doll
    October 13, 2006
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    really sad what parents put their children through. growing up and realizing the harsh world outside is bad enough. people like that should be castrated.

  • unrepentantsoul
    October 13, 2006
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    this is a very powerful and emotional subject to tackle... you did it very well. I think in anyway harming a child whether it being physical or emotional is one of the lowest things a person can do. Once again, this was an amazing poem tackling a difficult subject!

  • catcrawford22
    October 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is great i can totally relate to this from events that happened in my childhood, you have captured something emotional and honest in the words


  • troyias
    October 13, 2006
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    Susi,

    Thank you for your thoughts I do not know how anyone could even think of doing anything except love children. When I hear these things on the news it's like a knife through my heart. thank you so much for your coments.

    Go with God My Friend,
    Valerie

  • Susan E. Pennycuff
    October 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    first let me say there is absolutely NO REASON excusable for the killing of a child. There are plenty of folks like me that will take them in...I currently have five foster children in my home and am expecting a newborn in a couple weeks. If there is any parent out there right now that feels like harming thier children please, I beg of you PLEASE tell someone, ask anyone, a neighbor, church ...anyone for help, even if only a break for a couple weeks, just do NOT harm the children.

    as for the write...It is one outstanding piece of poetry.
    thank you so much for tackling this subject and for doing it with such grace. I firmly believe that you get folks attention when you make them think, not when you yell or scream your message. You have done a fine job of making folks think with this piece. It is soft and yet direct. Thank you again.

    Hugs, Suzi

  • troyias
    October 12, 2006
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    Trina there is just so very much of this going on today, it should not be happening. Children are special Gifts from God, and should be treated that way. God loans them to us to train and nurture, not torture & Kill. This was not God's Plan! Thank you for your encouragemnt on this. I changed the form a little. I didn't really form it, I was at work at the time and just needed to get the thoughts down.

    Go with God my beautiful AP Niece,
    Autnt Valerie

  • FindingFate
    October 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Let me say that last year a foster mother killed her nine year old son. Her husband buried the body. She hit him in the head with a hammer. When the husband came home she told him he had fallen and hit his head on the pool. The pool was not and had not been up. The next day the father was going to take him to the doctor and the mother grabbed him and said she would do it. They were gone for two to three hours. When they returned there were no stitches and the boys hair was still matted to his head with blood. For days he could not hold himself up and would not eat. After a week went by the father went out to the gas station. When he returned home and went to check on the son he found him blood covered and his wife was screaming..."I did'nt mean to do it!". So what does his rotten soul do...he helped her get rid of the body. The mother took the bloody t-shirt her son had been wearing before they buried him. She cut it into strips to use as baby wipes for the other children. It is disgusting! It makes me absolutely sick to my core to think of it. I am glad you are spreading the message of what happens to some of the children in this world. I did not mean to ramble but I just read an update on this trial in the paper and then logged on to read your wonderful piece. Thanks for the entry. As for the poem itself I believe you could play with the form a bit. The message is a wonderful message to get across. Best of luck...Trina

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