In Ruad Rafhessa.
The mystery of ancient
ritual reaches out to you,
The Red One of Great Wisdom.
Who knows what magic
has been yours for history to claim?
In Ruad Rafhessa.
Lost in the tangle of time.
Powers, once supressed,
refuse to steal away, and
rise triumphantly in those
still open to what lies within.
To dwell beyond the boundaries,
of time-locked, structured lives.
The Red One of Great Wisdom.
Your influence is still perceived,
and will not disappear,
as long as there are stars and dawns
and spirits aching to be part
of nature's plan.
In Ruad Rafhessa
Author notes
In Ruad Rafhessa or The Red One of Great Wisdom was a Celtic Father God. I read that Welsh Kings would consult the Druid gods and use their 'magic' to 'help them out. In spite of efforts to eliminate the Druid creed, the faith has survived and indeed grows stronger each year.
Written October 11th, 2006
A contest entry
- *Intelligent title goes here* by masky.
1800 points, ended April 15, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Very, very interesting, indeed. I was impressed, I may say. (I was expecting some invention of the poem when I read the title, but...well, hence my general knowledge.)
O-kay. As for the dreaded (or not so much??) suggestions. Here we go!
I'll start off by telling you my favorite part of the poem:
"Lost in the tangle of time.
Powers, once supressed,
refuse to steal away, and
rise triumphantly in those
still open to what lies within.
To dwell beyond the boundaries,
of time-locked, structured lives."
Although this is my favorite part, I will have to ask you something I did not quite get. This line:
"Lost in the tangle of time."
Did you use it to describe In Ruad Rafhessa? Or the "Powers, once supressed"? Because if you used it to describe the powers, there should be no dot at the end of the line. Also, about the punctuation: don't you think it would sound better if you would added an exclamation mark at the end of every "In Ruad Rafhessa" and "The Red One of Great Wisdom"? Like, an evocation. But that might be subjective, after all. It's all about your vision on the poem.
Also, in the second to last line, I would add a word, like this:
"Of nature's master plan"
For the rhythm.
One final question: are you part of this Druid belief? It won't influence my judging, I am just...curious. There is lots of passion in this piece, or this is just the way it came to me.
Besides that (like I haven't already said enough!), I can only say thank you for entering this piece in my contest (it was truly a delight to read) and good luck!
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Thanks for your helpful comments. I took your advice.
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Very enjoyable, Celtic history has always fascinated me, perhaps i'm just an old pagan.
This poem would be a little easier to read if some of the capitals at the beginning of the lines were removed, i often forget to do it when i write on Word and paste onto here.
Barb -
a good educational piece of poetry here, for once i am happy to see the author notes as i was lost reading the poem on the initial reading but was more in an understanding on the second reading. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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Thanks for your great comments. I'll take a look at the line breaks, not sure why I do that, I think I was influenced by someone years ago. Thanks again and best wishes.
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It was the title that attracted me to this one. I will admit to not knowing about Ruad Rafhessa , but I do know about some of the beliefs and rituals of Druids. I thank you for sharing this-----as I am very interested and by this I was able to learn just a little more. I believe your author comment had the big impact on what I read (it helped understand)Sometimes an author note takes away from a write....because it closes the door on us just walking away with what we got out of reading, but in a case such as this it is and was very helpful
The line breaks seem a bit akward (one sentence sort of cutting off halfway and going to the next line) but that is something that you can always decide to play with at any given time (not change the words though), but even if you leave it as is......it is still quite enjoyable information
thanks,
reenie
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Thank you for the author comment. I wondered about the meaning. I think this is a great poem. The flow of the words is natural. I don't know what else to say besides very good. --->pixxie<---
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