Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

THE RISING SUN - A Pantoum

The rising sun has broken night;  
some call it dawn, some call it day.  
Whilst in this morning’s growing light   
the dark of night creeps quietly away. 

Some call it dawn, some call it day,  
as with my pen this verse I write.  
The dark of night creeps quietly away,  
the moonlight and stars fade from my sight.

As with my pen this verse I write 
a multitude of thoughts flash thro’ my brain.
The moonlight and stars fade from my sight,
and I’m aware that it’s dawn again.  
 
A multitude of thoughts flash thro’ my brain;
best words in their best order I search out
and I'm aware that it is dawn again,  
as waking birds spread their song about.

Best words in their best order I search out,
whilst in this morning’s growing light,   
as waking birds spread their song about,
the rising sun has broken night.

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Fourthaxis
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved how different "and I’m aware that it’s dawn again" sounded when the phrase was repeated.
    Anansey


    • Shenton silver member
      July 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thankyou for reading and commenting and for your generous applause.

      Best wishes from 'down-under'.

      Shenton

  • ecrivain01
    July 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Very nice ...

    and thanks for entering.


    • Shenton silver member
      July 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thankyou for reading and commenting and for your generous applause.

      Best wishes from 'down-under'.

      Shenton