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Hark Ye Fare Gentleman (Ballad)

 

Hark ye fair gentleman

              From where do ye come? 

Your feet pounding a beat

              Into the earth like a drum; 
 

 

I see from your worn boots

              That ye come from a land far away; 

So let me extend to you an invite

              To come into my home for a night’s stay; 
 

 

Hark ye fair gentleman

              Why do ye travel by night? 

When you leave, take my lantern

              So the darkness may be cast away by its light; 

 
 

I also extend to you my horse

              That it may give you safe travel; 

May he guide you to your destination

              Over a rode covered in gravel;

 
 

Hark ye fair gentleman

              Why do you lie in bed with my wife? 

Your travel ends here tonight in my home

              For death I give to ye with this knife;


by Sharcu (Tim)

Author notes

Option: "Write a 20 line ballad, must rhyme, use a repeated line or phrase, tell a story, and have an unexpected ending."

Creative enough for you? This is the first ballad I've ever tried to write. It's also one of the first poems I've posted since I joined the site that is aligned to the left. With this poem I tried to step out of my norm of poetry and write something a little different. This poem reminds me of the saying "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." It's also relatable in the fact that I'm sure we can all say we've extended some sort of compassion or kindness to someone else just to have them turn around and spit right back in our face. Hrm... possibly also a spiritual perspective here as well where God tries to give us everything we want, but then we just turn right back around and shove it into His face. I put this into the humor category because I thought the ending was kinda funny (as did a couple of my friends from school when I read it to them).

But anyways, enough rambling. Hope you enjoyed reading it and I appreciate you taking the time to do so
Written October 11th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Lady-Pegasus
    February 14, 2007

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    You've Just Been Hood-Winked, courtesy of Poetic Bandits

    wow, certainly a surprise ending, very well done! I adore doing that myself hehe. I am going to suggest that some of the lines are off tempo and can easily be redone with the same ideas, just cutting some of the words to improve the flow. I do comepletely love the story and the old english language that adds to the feel of this write. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Peg


  • -Ink Artist-
    February 14, 2007

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    Wonderful work, my friend! This was a pleasure to read! I haven't read a ballad here at AP forever. You took a good repeating line and an interesting beginning to the tale and gave it an unexpected and mysterious ending twist. Not the way I figured it would conclude! Super work, Tim! Loved it!


    ~Lori


  • RevHead
    October 15, 2006
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    lol this is kool! and yeah that ending was definately unexpected lol. great job, hope you do well in this contest NMNM


  • Invisible Comfort
    October 11, 2006
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    ps. you need a space between fair and gentlemen in the last stanza
    xx
    Edited on Oct 18, 4:36 because 'spelt stanza wrong :S'.


  • wings of an angel
    October 11, 2006
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    very nice poem you had penned here


  • B Chandler
    October 11, 2006
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    Hmmm
    This was not only intriguing but at the same time allowed the reader to be soaked in --surmerged [actually] into the story like ballad while presenting that kindness being bestowed. Keep penning Tim

    Rae


  • masterblaster gold member
    October 11, 2006
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    Hi, I like the idea a lot, I think it should be fair not fare? and invite instead of invitation I feel is too modern but I could be wrong on that one,lol, the main problem is the metre, for example the firt 3 verses run, 6.5.6.7-6.9.10.10-6.7.7.11, it would enhance it if you could work it to a set meter, 6.7. or 6.8. would suite this kind of poem or even 8 all the way through, the story is great and it would not take too much to turn it into a great ballad,the computer will not let me correct the hickups in this message sorry, Di


  • ennovy silver member
    October 11, 2006
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    magnificent

    Well he gave them so much, the use of his home, horse and surely food. Yet he drew the line at his wife. I loved the surprise ending. "Tis refreshing to read thy words of yore. Twould be wonderful, if more poets composed posey's as so. Thou doth well! Tis but a glimpse of shakespear, Bravo!"
    write ON!..............ennovy


  • Tirrell
    October 11, 2006
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    Fun Tune you have penned!!!!

    Ballards should be sung, this has tight spots when you try to sing with it...Yet the horrible noise is my singing not your poem. I like it, the ending with an un-expected twist. Bravo. --Cheers! Robert


  • Invisible Comfort
    October 11, 2006
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    Definately creative A great write and I love the unexpected ending! Rhymes well without seeming forced, thanks for entering and good luck!
    Susan x

1 - 10 of 10