Prism points in
Fairy tale tremors of
Dragon dance to
Fire and fragrance
Rain in dreams as
One-day-green
One-day-brown
Begins again
To usher in
A gust and rattle
Dust to mud
Beyond a farmer's blade
Into the rush of
Gold to winter white
Or is that cotton
Empathy atrophy
Gives up to dreams of snow
And hot chocolate
By the fireplace
Weather channel musings
Of Arctic blast
Breathes in a wall of dirt
And wind chill
Final fallout to
Eternal evergreen
Flap trap and snap
From field to market
In a sniff of fresh pumpkin
And not so vine ripe cantaloupe
Green cheese to
Harvest moon
Winds growl low to the
Rhythm of the cavern dripped
Stalactite
Temper proof
Fall in
Frown up
Turn row
Seed shed to
Amber rise of
Disguise
Discussed
In musts or musty
Mixed with oilfield.
Author notes
Ahh, the smell of autumn in the West Texas oil fields, where summer and winter prevail and fall is mostly a date on the calendar.
Minimal punctuation intended. Comments on clearer linebreaks for clarity and rhythm welcome.
Written October 10th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- What Does it Look Like? by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended October 13, 2006, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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wow
very interesting. it made a type of confusing sense. the type of sense that you can see right in front of your face but don't understand until you least expect it. Great imagery. Thank you for your comments.
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Beautiful
i would have enjoyed this poem a lot more if my english were better..
for what i could understand, which was barely everything out of it, i really got the chance to visualize this place.
the smell of the pumpkin, the hot chocolate near the fireplace.. just beautiful.
there's surely a lot we all have to learn about whats freedom, but im sure you got quite a nice view out of it.
as well as im used to write and read poetry that is.. longer in every line (i dont know how to express it in english) it was kinda confusing, but thats just me, i really should start reading some more poetry from you, i will tame my thirst for poetry.
keep it on, you'll always have a fan down here in Argentina.
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Beatiful
This so descriptive and it's full of imagery and symbolism as well, Excellent write!
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This is nice. I didn't like 'or is that cotton[?]' (I know you aren't after punctuation, but I'm assuming it's a question) as it has more of a 'talking-to-self' feel than the rest of the poem. Nice internal rhymes, perhaps you could keep them going in one or two places? Good luck in the contest
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Hello..oh yes a perfect poem, love this, way you styled it is perfectly fine also, difference is so much needed in poetry.. very nicely done.. MM
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intense
This swept me away. Why fix it if it ain't broke? Wonderful
imagery and another way of looking at freedom.
hugs Wolfie -
Texas is one of my favorite states. I really liked this. You just made this a tougher contest to judge.
Into the rush of
Gold to winter white
Or is that cotton
These are brilliant lines. -
No alteration required, though i am a punctuation person
I really like the feel of this and the smell of it, not so sure it has made me want to come and visit at this time of year though
Barb
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