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The Emptiness Inside

Have you ever felt so unwanted
That you can't decide
What to do with what you have
That you fall apart completely
Just thinking about the things
That once made you happy
Have you ever felt so alone
That even after asking
For someone to talk to
You just fall even lower
And can never get back up
Have you ever hated yourself
For no reason at all
And that itself
Gave you all the more reason
To hate yourself more
Have you known what it's like
To fall into a hole
You know you never will crawl from


Do you know what it's like
To be me?
I doubt it
This is but a taste
Of the emptiness inside

Author notes


Written October 9th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 30 of 30
  • rosebud86
    November 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i am sorry you feel this way but it will get better(sis)
    i joined that site that you told me to join but i have not heard from me yet.
    sorry i missed you at all and i wish i could hear from you.
    love your (sister)and friend rosebud86


  • penman gold member
    November 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    This is so piercing with the inner search that haunts many of us. And we do find too much emptiiness at times. Great poem.


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    October 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i havent felt like this for a while, and if i had read it when you posted it i wouldnt have felt like i could relate to it anymore, but now i can, either way the emotion was put across brillianty, great work
    laurax


  • Imperceptible
    October 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Great write. One thing that all readers and poets enjoy is being able to relate through emotions used in your words to describe and paint your own picture for all is see, feel and relate. Great job.

  • Gothicgirl12
    October 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    me and you write the same exact type of poems and I would like to know you

  • Gothicgirl12
    October 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    me and you write the same exact type of poems and I would like to know you


  • Valesha
    October 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    good

    this is a very good piece. i like the way the mood goes. very serious and wonderful.


  • golden falcon
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    hey discribes my life good job


  • soulfultia gold member
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Good

    An intense intimate self portrayal of your feelings, courageously penned for us to read and comment, a difficult but brave task. Your flow was good, causing pause where we needed to pause and think of what you have shared and to attempt to feel what you feel. I can only say that I have only reached a very low point, once in my life and I reached out to find an inspirational reason to breathe.... Without knowing what led you to this dark place, I can not guide you directly to the light, but can say that this step, this write, is a stepping stone to finding it. You have creatively and expressively allowed us to see a part of you and I admire that. Find the resilience you need to pull up and take a look around, you inspiration is nearby, you just have to open your eyes to see it and welcome it. I would hug you if you were near, but since I can not, I will applaud your courage this night. Bless you, and keep writing ~Tia


  • JustifiedChaos
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I'm not sure I can find anything to critique here. This just really slaps you in the face, even when you don't want to face the buried emotions-this puts them at the front of your view. You did very well with your words and flow. I'd be extremely interested in reading more of what you've written. And intend to do that after I finish this.

    ~Justice


  • another blonde
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    amazing ten thumbs up(hehe)

    this is a great poem.very emotional. i can relate to it. i really like it it was one of the best poems ive read on here keep writing.


  • Aurielle
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Really truthful peice

    Do you know what it's like
    To be me?
    I doubt it
    This is but a taste
    Of the emptiness inside

    Keep writing


  • Aurielle
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    So emotional the best emotional poem ever your so great with emotions.


  • Jesus Freak 101
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I love it, love it, love it, love it. It was genius. Your amazing, and I don't even know you.


  • Silvermoon Dragon
    October 9, 2006
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    Aawww, Em.

    While I must say that your dark poetry flows so much better than your happy stuff (and let´s face it, whose doesn´t?) I´m so sad to be reading this. I thought things were doing better for you hon?

    Some great imagery in this piece, especially the hole. But remember, even holes disappear in time, as the surrounding soil gets swept away by erosion, and when that happens, you´l be back out in the sun, and ready to stand up and make your way again.

    Big Hugs,
    Susan


  • HekatesMinion
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I honestly think that alot of people know what it is like to be you, as I cannot tell you how many people including myself have expressed this same feeling. I think you have a bad touch of depression. I also think that you did a wonderful job of expressing the emotions you feel inside in a nice well flowing piece of poetry. So I applaud and commend you, fellow poet. Merry Part and Blessed Be.


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I can relate very much to what you have written. But do know that when we are at our weakest, we are receiving a spiritual healing. Things will get better. Your words were heartwrenching and sad..I do hope you can pick yourself up and embrace the power within you. Stay well...Good luck..
    Soulful Woman


  • manoguru
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    yes, i know the sensation that you describe so well. the feeling down like there will never be an up. nicely done. i very much enjoyed the

    That even after asking
    For someone to talk to
    You just fall even lower
    And can never get back up

    part very much since i haven't found it anywhere else adn it desscribes the feeling so well. however some readers might find this self-pitying plain boring and silly.

    write on


  • October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I can say that I don't know what its like to be you. No one will know what its like to be you except for you. We all can have similar situations but each one is as unique as the next. I have been so low that I thought there was no point in living in this world and I should just climb under a rock and die because it would do me more good than not. This poem is very sad and so many emotions rolled into this poem. I hope that there will be better days for you ahead because I don't believe it could get much worser than this poem says. Well done on this poem. All4hugs

  • Lisa Haslett
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Great poem

    Goog work Very honestly,I liked it!Has a good source for reason!Keep writing!Lisa K Haslett Raytown Missouri!

  • acytra
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I know these feelings. I have the same, maybe for different reasons though. I am sorry for your pain. I read a few of the comments here, and sounds like we are not as alone in this place as we seem to be. Love to us All!!! and I love this poem. Thank you!


  • xPoisonxDollx
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    marvelous write. i love this...it reminds me of myself. you and i are very alike, which gives me all the more reason to like this piece. you sound like someone i could get along with very well. i look forward to reading more of your work...and if you wouldn't mind, would you take a gander at my latest one? 'enough is fucking enough'? i'd like to hear your thoughts on it.
    ♥ amy


  • PoetsAngel
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Brilliantly penned, the emotion is real and raw...I too have felt like this, I know what it's like to be me in this situation, I would imagine you feel similar


  • storeofhearts
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this one is really awsome. i love it. me and you sound very familar. i like how the step up is on this one. very very good indeed.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    ...and the Psyce says, "Well, Trilliana how does that make you feel?" 'I told you Doc, empty.' " I'm sorry I don't understand what you mean by empty." LOL
    Talked to a 'shrink' once, this was about the dialogue. Emptiness is a non-emotion, he wasn't sure how to deal with.

    One of my mottoes is, 'Hey, it's only temporary.'
    Chin up, Keep writing. G A


  • Angelsojaded
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing!

    I know that emptiness all too well and this piece has touched me. It was almost like reading your own work but though a mirror. Does that make sense? I love your style and how your words connected pefectly at the right time! This is a type of work that some people can only read about and some people can only feel it. I feel it! Please keep writing!


  • JohnWaynePalsy
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    nice writing

    pretty good writing there.i find this piece very entertaining and i think most everyone can relate to this to some extent.nice way of putting that shitty im lost and dont want to be found and nobodys looking for me anyway feeling into words.


  • Neptunian Scorpion
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Good & Heartfelt

    Phew... I must say that the picture you paint with your words is a dark one indeed. You have expressed yourself in a brilliant way, I like the setup and the flow was fluid. It squeezes my heart though to know that you are feeling like this. If you ever need to talk, I am here. Drop me a line and we can chat. I am a great listener. Apart from that, this was good.

    May Angels guide your footsteps...

    Take care
    Dimitri


  • MenschMariah
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    WHOO HOO!

    oooo this is a really good poem. and yes i know these feelings very well. you portray them very nicely
    love how u set your words up... keep penning!!!


  • Dirty and Broken
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    don't know what it's like to be you, but i know that feeling and it sucks....the poem is pretty good.....

1 - 30 of 30