Silently you whisper
sweet nothings in my ear.
Blanketed in love,
with you I feel no fear.
Your fingers trail across my face
sending shivers down my spine.
My heart can soar high and free
because I know that you are mine.
Feathering sweet kisses
lightly over my chest.
I tremble in your arms,
tonight we will not rest!
The way you look inside me,
the intensity of your deep blue eyes,
steals the very breath from me
and makes my body sigh.
Rolling over together
under the covers on my bed.
You fill me so completely,
you're even in my head.
I wake up crying softly,
wanting to shout and scream.
You were never lying beside me,
it was just another dream.
Author notes
Written October 9th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I love how well this flowed. Thoroughly depressing, but great poem!!
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This was sad, however very good! You seemed to pull me in with this tale of what feels like a deep love to end this with a dream...ya big tease! ha! Very good! I will keep reading the old, until I finally see a new post...come on now, I know ya got it in ya
Always a pleasure to read your work ~Tia
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very good
Soft at first , then ended sadly... well writen
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mmmmmmm
you had me at Silently you whisper,
beautiful -
Many dream empty dreams like this, until they find someone else to fill their dreams with reality instead. Sentiments well expressed in these lines - easy to read and understand, Flows well and has good rhythm and rhyme as well.
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Oh
Nicole
there is much longing and the last line lends heartbreak to the whole poem.you create haunting and true to life images and I believe most can relate to because at one time all have trod down the road you describe...
Stop hurting love
Sam
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damn
all that passion...and blu eyes..brings back some memories i for once can say im over
i used to have these little queery nightmares and wake up crying when i found out he wasnt there. used to tell myself it all was a nightmare..but eh..in the end found someone new and more..umm fullfilling in sooooo many ways more than one.
heres hopein alls right on your end of the net!
mensch!
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Dreamy
This poem seem so real, even though it is a dream.
A sad dream at that. The imagary is nice.
Your flow is excellent. I really like this poem because
in the beginning it doesn't seem like a dream.
You have penned a good one here, keep them comming.
~Snappy~
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Tragic at the end
It started beauituflly, gorgoues descriptions and exquisite rhyming
The end was really sad though, ylou built up such a beauitufl scene and then it was broken
But I guess that's what dreams do
An amzeing write
Well done
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This is really awesome, anyone who has loved and lost can realate. Your last stanza reminded me of dreams i have sometimes where i wake up screaming, a great poem.
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wow! this is an amazing poem. the beat of the poem alone is wonderful nearly perfect (though nothing can ever be perfect). this is very detailed and allowed me to feel and see what you were feeling and seeing. this is a wonderful write i loved the line
Rolling over together
under the covers on my bed.
You fill me so completely,
you're even in my head.
that is just a powerful stanza and gives the poem that strength. and the ending gives the poem that bittersweet taste of unrequited love that we all must feel sometime. an amazing write i am blown away by your talent.
ash -
Adjusted the flow a little to hopefully help the beat. Hope it sounds better now. Thanks for the comment!
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Nice work.
Detailed image...
Liked.
Alan. -
Thanks so very much for your critique.. I am looking into ways to make it flow just a little better. I like constructive criticism and appreciate your comments.
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Excellent
I love the dream of your true love and need within,I think a dream that many may share, to be loved truly must be the most wonderful dream of all within this life.
I see you tried very hard with the rhyming, well done the beat was lost in some places but thank you so much for entering.
Edited on Oct 09, 5:41 because ''.
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