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jazz

Swirling fog, textured smoke leads to fire
electricity etches its path 
the promise of storms stirs an urge to run
laugh as the sky pummels with rain
the heat rising from the skin
body’s sweat
a sudden punch of sax’s cry
against the bottom of a bass’s moan
brush strokes against the skin
rhythm, a swish and a purr
back beat syncopation
fingers trace the arc and curve
music growing out of epiphany  improvisation
lips clasp the reed feel the vibrations
understand the need
hands on the conga make it growl
the pace picking up
the horns rising to a howl
trumpet holding a note
twisting and turning
keening a cry
opening a scream
high hat sizzles, then crash
drum sticks keep a simpler stronger beat
brass flashes
gleams in the light
short bursts of hot notes

grouped in gasps
the music is over
breath held in the pause
“Baby, if you love me,
play that song again”

For Lane

10:33 PM
Oct 8th, 2006
Alexandria, VA

Author notes


Written October 8th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 128     1 2  next >  (show all)
  • Lamp
    November 19
    ?
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    Honest to God, I love your creative mind. Such well chosen, refreshing, unspoilt imagery.


    • tomisb
      November 20
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      Honored

      You have truly explored my poetry. This was a dare to myself. I love Jazz and all other types of music. But to write a poem called Jazz. I should be ashamed of myself. Except, when I read it with jazz musicians backing me up, they loved it. Miracle of miracles!!
      Love,
      Tom B.


  • Lowell Poe
    September 15

    Edit | Reply
    Ha!
    Love it!
    I being a musician by trade in NY,
    I found this unreal...
    The freedom of jazz could not have been stated more poetically.
    You choose an unbelievable and what i always thought to be an unexplainable
    feeling....
    i think this so far from what i have read of yours...this.....
    is truly a masterpiece.
    Only a true poet can convey....
    to take a feeling and make it a visible tangible experince...
    this should have been gold.....
    there are few here that have your insite on matters of emotion from what i can see...
    i of course would not change a thing....
    i never say this...
    but i think we may have perfection here.
    Even your comment was extremely articulate...
    you have reason to be very proud of this...
    i think you can safely call yourself a writer and a poet..
    I know after reading this I will.

    Thank you brother,
    for sharing your gift,
    Liam.

    • tomisb
      September 15
      Edit | Reply

      Hell of a compliment.

      Louis Armstrong's house is now a museum and one of my best friends, we did poetry and jazz together, is the head librarian. It is worth the visit and near by to where you live. Everything is near in New York.

      Out of the imperfect hearts of humans an vision of perfection can be seen. I am not sure that this cannot be improved by someones system of what a perfect poem is. But, I don't know what it is. This was a gift from a spiritual place I touched and everything flowed. Some are gifted with being in touch with this place far more than I.

      Thanks for the compliment. I think this definitely caught fire. Coming from a musician makes it mean much more.
      Peace & Light,
      Tom B.

  • kdom
    August 19

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    Great! I loved how you have intertwined two situations and perfectly described each of them at the same moment and with the same words. BRAVO!

    • tomisb
      August 20
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      Thanks, this is one of my favorites. I felt gifted to catch the jazz, the sense of improv, exhilaration, fire, passion that a moment brings both to music and a relationship. Spontaneity is a gift, when we are alive in the moment without all our mental filters, editors -- just, grooving. Again my thanks.
      Peace & Light
      Tom B.


  • sahdana silver member
    August 3

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    ooooh-weee....jazzzzy

    I just don't know WHERE to start with comments about this fantastic piece-I WAS RAISED ON JAZZZZ cause my mom hung out with some of the greatest...she's even on the album cover of one of Miles'....anyway, this piece s w i n g s in more ways then one.....great! It makes me sway on......lovn' it all!!!!!

    • tomisb
      August 4
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      Jazz

      The music, the feeling, it is in the air. Taste it and let it run down your skin. Whisper it into the heart of another and you immediately know if they are going to be a real friend. Often it talks to me. It talks to me so loud that once at a Pharaoh Sanders concert in a club called the Etc. the connection was made across the room. We were in a conversation.

      Glad, you enjoyed. Cool.

      Tom B.


      • sahdana silver member
        August 4
        Edit | Reply

        gave it 3...

        FYI, I gave 3 applauds for this and don't understand why it isn't showing up...anyways...great work!

        • tomisb
          August 4
          Edit | Reply
          I don't know why that happens either. I complain to the moderators. Just so Kevin knows things ain't perfect. . May a course of imperfections provide the right inspiration.
          Love,
          Tom B.


  • adumbpuss
    May 23
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    Thank you for sharing this with me, it is an enjoyable read.

    • tomisb
      May 23

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      Thought you might enjoy a brief visit to the land of improvisation and conversation.
      Peace & Light,
      Tom B.


  • Joseph Hollis
    December 22, 2008

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    You've created such a wonderful atmosphere with these words. I can imagine sitting in a dimly lit jazz club listening to the rise and fall of music in the air, swirling around with the smoke and sounds of feet tapping the floor. Well done.

    • tomisb
      December 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I have always loved music and even more so when it is live. Jazz speaks to me in a special way. So glad to hear you enjoyed this effort.
      Peace & Light,
      Tom B.


  • spirit rising
    November 17, 2008
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    wow this gave me goose bumps, i could hear it all merge together in my head, so uplifting!

    • tomisb
      November 17, 2008
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      Thank you. I felt gutsy calling it jazz. But, my musican friends are in love with it. Glad it touched you. I can ask for no greater compliment.
      Love, Tom B.


  • thejollytinker
    September 29, 2008

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    Aw, HELL yes! Whenever I hear good players, especially in a small venue- I can't stop smiling and stomping (off beat, of course). Plus, I like the picture- reminds me of somebody I know.

    • tomisb
      September 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      They steal your heart and chew up all of your good sense.

      Nothing compares to some of the live preformances in clubs I know. Even as a audio junkie, albums don't sweat. Glad you enjoyed this.

      Peace,
      Tom B.


  • Emerald Dog
    September 20, 2008

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    More!

    This work howls hot horns at the soul. You capture raw both the subtleties and power of a live jazz performance as it couples with the personification of the sexual energy it exudes. This is the perfect jazz dance, the sweet duet between soul and body. You most certainly nailed it here.

    • tomisb
      September 20, 2008
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      This is a moment of insane courage, trusting the truth of what lives in the soul and just letting the words go. Thanks for enjoying it. When you have been in the room with the music running hot and the bodies swaying, persperation a gift, part of the togetherness -- you know jazz can rule and speak clearly with purtity of things that most can only muddy water at the thought of.

      I run on.

      thanks for enjoying my moment

      Peace, Tom B.

  • poetrycall
    September 11, 2008
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    This was wonderful.
    I could really feel it.
    I want to go listen to some jazz.

    • tomisb
      September 11, 2008
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      Music lives when it no longer has to dance you. When you become the music it is yours to express what ever you have to say.

      Thank you for being willing to improvise with me. Joy shared is joy multiplied.

      Love,
      Tom B.


  • logorrhoea
    September 5, 2008
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    together.

    I like the merge.


  • LadyDementia gold member
    April 18, 2008

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    Congrats on the HM!

    Wow I am beginning to see what luckynsincere means now about sensual can be about anything. This is fantastic! So wonderfully written. Congrats on the trophy


  • LaMerci
    October 19, 2007

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    All I had to see was "jazz"

    and I came a running. I'm one of the biggest jazz lover's ever and I see you be diggin it too. I knew I liked you for a reason tomisb, something about your spirit. I agree with the musicians who told you that were on point.

    • tomisb
      October 19, 2007
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      I felt I was taking my life in my hands to call a poem jazz. I was fortunate, I lived up to the name. I teethed on Stan Getz and Charlie Parker because they were my fathers favorites. My musical tastes are omnivorous because of all the influences in my life. Jazz is just where when certain muscians, Pharoh Sanders in particular, play it is like they are talking to me and I understand the language. Glad you enjoyed.


  • Ithica silver member
    October 4, 2007

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    Way to blow...

    You've captured the contemplative essence of Charlie Parker to the cool and complex archectural Miles Davis logics. You are definately a fan of jazz as your words sang a powerful image... Ithica

    • tomisb
      October 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I read this once with jazz backup. The musicians, whose opinion was all that mattered to me, felt I had nailed it. I have spent a lot of time around the music and my tastes run from Dave Koz to Fusion to Big Band to Pharoh Sanders and Sun Ra. This has a be bop feel, probably cause that was what I grew up with. Duke Jordon, Charlie Parker and Max Rosch. Still Charles Loyd, Jarrett, and Yuseff Latiff play a little in here. Glad to see you are aware of the gods of sound. It will help greatly when you put your lips to your pen and blow words across the page.
      Love, Tom B.


  • ellipsist
    July 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    intense very in tune

    and vividly in touch with senses visual and filled with imagery...

    the scene that you've created here is very "alive"

    ...I am very immersed in the moment while reading this piece...

    • tomisb
      July 10, 2007
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      I read this at an open mic with Jazz backup. The muscians loved it. I felt like I was taking my life in my hands to present it, because of the title.

      Thanks for saying it gave you an alive feeling. I wanted that feeling of the emotive immediate power of the music to be there. appreciate deeply your review.

      Love,Tom B.


  • FlamingoCroquet
    June 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this was very good. Your beginning could have been stronger, I think, but definitly wasn't bad. I like good jazz music, and I think you really summed it up here. It's powerful stuff. Your last line was used very effectivly, in my opinion.


    • tomisb
      June 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      This is just for the joy of it. Glad you were able to get into it.
      Peace & Love, Tom B.

  • dandelioness
    June 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    u made it rain
    way cool


    • tomisb
      June 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Glad the notes shimmered as they feel and you could be cool in the rain of sound. Love, Tom B.


  • FaireWeather
    June 7, 2007

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    A good poem over all, but it didn't fit the style requested in the contest rules. I loved your last line, but, unfortunately, it just wasn't what I was looking for. Thank you for entering.


  • trumpetfalcon silver member
    June 5, 2007

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    As a lover of jazz, and a musician as well, I can say with all honesty that this piece has truly captured the beauty of jazz.

    Like Langston Hughes, or one of the early beat poets, your use of meter, alliteration, and onomatopoeia, instantly brings to mind the smoke-filled annals of a crowded lounge, or the lighted rooms of a bandstand.

    Punchy and honest.

    • tomisb
      June 5, 2007
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      you put me in good company. i just wanted to catch the sexy cool of the be-bop Charlie Parker era of jazz. From your description, I think I succeeded. I have read this at an open mic where I had jazz musican's backing me up. They dug it.
      Peace & Love, Tom B.


  • Shakari
    May 16, 2007

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    I was blown away! Wow...I loved the metaphors, personification, and the sounds that rang through my ears through your words. I could just imagine it all taking place here. You have really wrapped your fingers around your talent with words. You have done a fantastic job here. Keep it up and congrats on the HM! As for Maddy, I hope that she returns home safely, too.

    • tomisb
      May 16, 2007
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      Certain words feel dangerous. You have to be sure you are big enough to fill them. I wanted to write this poem for about a month before I finally did. I have always been so happy that people feel it and sing to it. Best of all my jazz musician friends feel it lives up to the title. Thanks for enjoying this so much.
      Love, Tom B.


  • xSallyxDollx
    May 7, 2007

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    God I've missed your writing!
    I love how you worked music into this and made it weave in and out through the words tantalizing the reader coarsing them forward.. just amazes me.

    • tomisb
      May 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      You honor me to no end. This was scarey to title. Jazz being so vibrant and alive. but it appears that the poem runs its own rifts. I have been lucky and maybe talented as well. Most of all my heart sings at the praises you heap upon me. Love, Tom B.

  • pruedence
    March 16, 2007

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    I love this...jazz to me is from your soul then out again...wonderful words..I felt like I was in a little place with not alot of people...the words are like music to my ears...nicely done.

    • tomisb
      March 16, 2007
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      This was, for me, a gutsey attempt at catching the music with words, letting the feelings erupt from between the lines. Thanks for sharing your joy and pleasure with me. Love, Tom B.


  • poetryality silver member
    February 12, 2007

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    Oh my! Could I ever hear the "jazz", feel the "vibrations", set the mood... This is musical, lyrical, and reminds me of how much my father loved jazz. Excellent! What fun you must have had penning this one my friend. This slips and slides like a wondrous vintage dance. I adore this poem! I wish you the best in the challenge. This is so worthy of placing.


    Much Love ♥

    Renee

    • tomisb
      February 13, 2007
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      Thanks for hearing the music. I felt like I was taking a major risk to call a poem jazz. It is a lot to live up to. I read it for the first time to the public with a jazz band backing me up. They loved it. Thanks for sharing your love. Tom B.

  • tomisb
    February 10, 2007
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    Style

    This ability to sound like no other. Sometimes, I question if style doesn't overrun content. Still when it causes someone, like yourself, to immediately expect quality and a feeling they love, perhaps it is no bad thing. By the way . . . it's Tom, not Tim.
    Love, Tom B.


  • poet2angels gold member
    February 10, 2007

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    beautiful!

    I know you
    Your style is like no other, Tim...
    I can hear the sound of Jazz music playing as I read this, and it is so beautiful and sensual...THe end really got me...

    "short bursts of hot notes

    grouped in gasps
    the music is over
    breath held in the pause
    “Baby, if you love me,
    play that song again”

    LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Lynda


  • panegyric ink
    January 25, 2007

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    Makes me want to XM Jazz All Week!!!!

    "body's sweat
    a sudden punch of sax's cry
    against the bottom of a bass's tone"

    For me, this is simply a rythmed mastery of what jazz is so much about. Eclectics chosen only for their spare of the moment creatives!!!!!
    ...And I haven't even gotten started on the rest of what I loved about this tribute to one of America's few real inventions!!!! Overall? STUNNING.
    take it easy,
    -fallower.

    • tomisb
      January 25, 2007
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      Hell of a compliment

      I appreciate it. I felt courageous or very foolish calling a poem Jazz. But it appears I have caught something and I am blowing my own rift an it seems to fit. So thanks. Love, Tom B.


  • Cannonsfire
    January 22, 2007
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    Sometimes you hear the expanse of music in your heart and mind when you are with the right person, making love can be violins or rhythmic electric guitars to the beat of drums, yet we can also hear the sadness if it disappears in the haunting piano or wailing sax. Music is the rhythym of life.

    • tomisb
      January 22, 2007
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      Music is the flow of life

      you and i both know. You got your highs and you got your lows but with music you dance and flow with the world while you go where you got to go. Like it is said, "it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing" better than being dead. So dance with me and we will see if there are any fish in the sea.
      Love Tom B.


  • Spiritvision angel
    January 16, 2007

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    All the lines are beautiful and I cannot pick only one or two out of this one as a favorite or to pull it together. The words flow and feel like the act of love intertwined with the magic of music. Sensual and loving music can be as two beings together could. Love jazz. Grew up in Louisiana *angel

    • tomisb
      January 16, 2007
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      Music is part of the whole

      Art ties it together. We look and the creative force is always around us, expressing itself in all of our behavior and thoughts. We are unconscious most of the time. When we breathe it in, we are blessed. When we breathe it out, we touch the world.
      Love, Tom B.


  • Touchof1der silver member
    January 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You had me engulfed in your words from beginning to end. As soon as I read the title, I knew I would be lost. As a hopeless romantic, jazz can be heard playing from my stereo most hours of the day and night. I lose myself, body and soul, in the beat, the rhythm and the sway of the music. You have captured that same feeling here with your words. I had a little Kirk Whalum playing in the background so it set the mood to a real nice groove. Thanks for the delightful journey.
    ♥ Touchof1der

    • tomisb
      January 16, 2007
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      My gift,

      I am glad to hear that I lived up to the title. I am a strong music lover, what poet is not. The complexity and yet simplicity of jazz as an art form made this a daring feat. It seems that I have at least touched on a little of this magic with my words. Thank you.
      Love, Tom B.


  • bw43
    January 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i like how you dedicate all your pieces at the end.... and you put a date and time stamp... and even your location... that's really.... unique.


  • SurelyWritten
    December 30, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, I think I am the only person my age who really enjoys jazz music, which is why I clicked this as I was browsing through your poems... I however found a different meaning for my appreciation. This is gorgeous, I found a metaphor that I personally adored... So many types of music are altered and no longer music, just like the definition of love and pleasure has been corrupted.. But it is so pure and clear in your writings... I love that, it truly is a gift of art Tom.

    -shirley-

    (sorry if i do not make sense, i am slightly drugged because of a flu bug, --sigh, forgive me for my pathetic comments lately, i'll be my normal self soon) -s-

    • tomisb
      December 30, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      thanks for appreciating the risk

      Jazz is such a deeply centered music. To be able to improvise, it has to be. The interplay of everyone within the band cooperating to maintain a whole was central to my using it as a sensual metaphor for making and recieving love. Thanks for making me feel that I have recreated or provided a definition for sexuality, sensuality and physical love that restores the idea of a deeper more spiritual connection. It has always been my intent since the first piece of bad erotica I read. I think I am finally beginning to get there.
      Love, Tom B.


      • SurelyWritten
        December 30, 2006
        Edit | Reply
        lol, your welcome, i hate un-graceful erotica, but i never have to worry about it with your writing.


  • Lady Ireland gold member
    December 27, 2006

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    Spent!

    Now this is what i like, good old clean poetry, this has to be a winner!
    i find it the orgasm of senual erotica. i enjoyed it from start to finish, but seriously...ther'll be no need for me to ask you to play it again..i'd have it on repeat. lol. the metaphor was very clever and the last lines was like a grade A a in chat up line.
    You have penned a brilliant poem here i hope it takes you far. god bless.
    Slán Dolores.

    • tomisb
      December 27, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks for sitting in and blowing your horn

      I like the mood you brought in. I am in love with music. To call a poem jazz and not let it swing would have been a sin. I am glad you enjoyed the tune. Thanks for stopping by and sitting in with the band. Love, Tom B.

  • eyesofgreen
    December 26, 2006

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    God!
    If I were a seashell and you put your ear up to hear my ocean, it would sound like jazz. the improv, the notes behind the music, so sexy, sensual, makes heat rise from my body and begs to be touched/played like an instrument...
    This was fantatstic!

    • tomisb
      December 26, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      Just want to dance

      I like to improvise and be advised the range of the horns is huge and the underlying melody can cause you to weep and scream. But hear is something that should be music to your ears.
      http://allpoetry.com/poem/1871843
      Lov, Tom B.


  • honey bear
    December 22, 2006

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    exelent

    this is a very exelent piece, it takes a brave man to try to do what you have done here and yet you have succeeded i know little of jazz as it is hardly ever heard here but i know i will love the sound (feel) of those brush strokes as they swish away in my brain from now on great work ,very unusual

    • tomisb
      December 22, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      The external is a vision of the internal

      Or is that life is and endless echo of itself. These twists in time are without rhymn and the reason is an accessory. This just is because I found a moment laying around and filled it with sound and a vision of it translated into sensuality. Love, Tom B.


  • ennovy silver member
    December 14, 2006

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    Memories of Sweet encounters

    unfold with each line I have read..Jazz is the true music of poets each note dipped in gold, and poured out in this piece. I could hear music in your words. I was sitting in a little culb in Greenwich Village grove before I finished this read. What a awesome vision you gave me man. I loved this prose. Excellence at its best! Loved it! Jazz & classical beats with my heart....ennovy

    • tomisb
      December 14, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      I like the bop, I like to hop and swing. . .?

      Slow the pace. Two bodies spinning at a unhurried step, trace the line of the spine, feel the others thighs and sigh. I love dancing.
      Have to create a poem about dancing like this one about jazz. Didn't think I would ever be able to write this one, so why not one about dancing. Glad you loved this. Reading it in the right place. While in New York, visit the Louie Armstrong Archival Library. It is now housed in Louie's old house. There, say hello to Michael Cogswell, head librarian and my friend. Tell him that Tom Burson sent you. Go ahead. Love, Tom B.


  • Danna Hobart
    December 2, 2006

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    Nice Imagery

    This is a very good poem. There are only a couple of suggestions I could make. You have very good imagery going on in it. You can bring that out even more by tightening up some lines and changing some of the present participles to action verbs. Let me demonstrate:

    Swirling fog, textured smoke leads to fire
    electricity etches its path
    promise of storms stirs an urge to run
    laugh as the sky pummels with rain
    heat rising from skin
    body’s sweat

    • tomisb
      December 2, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Re-read it with what you suggested in mind. Used it in a few places. You are right it tightens it up with out losing the rift and flow. I guess I just got ing-itis. I am glad you like the swing. 'Cause it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing.
      Love, Tom B.


  • grannyeri gold member
    December 2, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful song you h ave played for us through your well chosen words - they just flow from line to line and when read out loud the beat, the heat is easy to feel and share with others. Jazz is hot and heavy, or can be cooler and light, and this poem takes us from one to the other and back again- very sensual - think this is one of your best ones- they are all good, just I like this one very much.

    • tomisb
      December 2, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      It's just that old black magic

      From Charlie Parker, Stan Getz, and Louis Armstrong I have grown up on jazz of all types. It carries its own signature. Glad you could get into the swing and hear how it sings. Thanks for sharing with me the joy you received from this piece. Love,Tom B.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    December 2, 2006

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    Tom,loved the sensuality of this piece of poetry.Appreciated the tempo,teasing and cajoling the senses until the cresendo.Indeed,if music be the food of love,play on...
    A well written piece that was a delightful interlude,beautifully penned,tastefully created with metaphorical momentous moments that poetically revealed semi quavers of semi quivers.
    Well done,love and light,Yvette

    • tomisb
      December 2, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      Good to hear from you dear

      semi quavers of semi quivers. I would say you caught my drift. I got the inspiration while reading anothers poem and I had always wanted to write a piece I could call jazz, but it had to live up to the title, of course That I got to use sensual innuendo made it more delightful and caught the underside of the music that had it be accused of being in league with the devil or called shameless
      I am glad you caught the fun side of it to. Love is bright and brassy at moments and if there isn't laughter in it, then it isn't love, just melodrama. Thanks for the review. I enjoyed it. Love, Tom B.


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    December 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    There's so much in this that I adore... the fact that you are able to describe the way that music can make you feel, and the way that you can use the words and feelings in more then one context.
    It's sexy and makes you think about the way that music can affect you
    ♥

    • tomisb
      December 2, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      She's a woman for me

      I relate to music physically as well as emotionally and spiritually. jazz truly moves me and so do women in a lot of the same ways. To make this sensual and play with the duality of sensations made it all the more luscious and challenging to write.
      Thanks for noticing. Love, Tom B.


  • bottleddreamz
    December 2, 2006
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    {{Visions of notes}}

    All I have is visions of little notes playing in my head, dancing to a beat of a jazz symphony. It's brilliant. A truely masterful peice of work. Describing a stormy peice of jazz with words, that takes talent.

    Excellent work,
    Keep dreaming in ink,
    Jessica

  • in-the-twilight
    December 2, 2006

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    OMG!!!!!!!

    Oh My Gosh... I loved this!!!!!!! I am a total band geek and I love jazz... I totally heard the music playing here!!!!!!! The descriptions were absolutely amazing and this was an awesome explanation of what Jazz really is!!!!!!! Rock ON!!!!!!!
    xoxo
    Meg

    • tomisb
      December 2, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      For someone who can read the sheet

      This is really sweet all reet. I have worked with a lot of musicans and can really appreciate the depth of the compliment I am given here. I have wanted to write a poem called jazz for years. I finally got it right. Love, Tom B.


  • luckynsincere
    December 2, 2006

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    a perfect piece!!

    I love this... wowowow!! I love the sensual wording... very subtle... Tom... you amaze me every time


    • tomisb
      December 2, 2006
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      Knew you would like it.

      glad I could share the pleasure
      Love, Tom B.


  • mjseattle silver member
    December 2, 2006

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    Very Nice

    Elegant & sensual, you carried me along with your flow of words, tantalizing with each turn of a phrase, leading up to the satisfying conclusion..."Baby, if you love me, play that song again"...ready to fall into love's arms once more, and begin the passion all over again. ~Mark

    • tomisb
      December 2, 2006
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      Lovely review

      This is one of those poems that leaves a satisfying feeling after it is written. I am glad you enjoyed the last line. It was tricky. I didn't want to sound too cute. Thanks for all the kind words.
      Sincerely, Tom B.


  • Dalaney gold member
    December 2, 2006
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    Smokey...sultry...wonderfully and beautifully sensual -this captures the essence of the man you are and the man I am constantly amazed by. This work is now on my homepage - I am so honored it was written for me. My love, Lane

    • tomisb
      December 2, 2006
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      No question

      Rifts rapid righteous unmatched by the smile that abides in the crash of the morning tide. Listen. Heart beats 'cross miles of countryside.
      Love, Tom B.

  • poetryality silver member
    December 2, 2006
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    WONDERFUL!

    I am sitting here with the flu! Feeling pain in my joints, and coughing something awful (I have bronchitis as well, and need an inhaler).

    So, I decided to put on some Jazz! I have Eddie Harris' CD "PUG ME IN" in the background, and I read this aloud with the cut; "Lovely is Today". Man do these word, and that jam ever mix and match as if they were meant to be. I love the sensuality and the wonderful tones that are made with your words. I also find this tastefully written. I click very quickly off Erotica that borders on pornography. Your writ is quite soothing, and etches itself from head to toe with pleasure.

    Brilliant!


    Always ♥

    Renee

    • tomisb
      December 2, 2006
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      Fun to share

      It took balls to call this jazz. I wanted a sensual mix, something that caught the sexyness of the music and the music in sex. Jazz seemed to be the only answer. I infinite respect and love for jazz wether it be bebop, cool, dixeland, modern, you name it, it sings to me. I feel fortunate to have been able to catch a small part of the mood that jazz and create, so that you can't tell if it is really sexy music or just what it is. Felt I did the creators of this form proud. You know, that soft husky voice saying, "It's cool, baby. It's cool"
      Love, Tom B.

  • tomisb
    October 18, 2006
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    Read this tonight with a jazz band for backup. The reception by the audience was wonderful. Remember, when we revel in our senses it is music for the soul. Love, Tom B.

  • surreal realist
    October 18, 2006
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    This is seriously cool!


  • Kei-Aira
    October 17, 2006
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    Wow! what an original way to write an erotic piece. I think this works really well and is definately an enjoyable read.


    Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck.


  • tomisb
    October 11, 2006
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    Hell of a compliment. Glad you felt the need to pay it. Bless you. Peace, Tom B.

  • tomisb
    October 11, 2006
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    This is part one of two parts. Part two needs help We do the best we can. I am glad you picked up on the erotic rythmn at the end. I wanted to do erotica musically and subtlely. I think I succeeded, but that may be pride speaking. Peace, Tom B.

  • tomisb
    October 11, 2006
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    I know what you mean. I went to school with several and they re-enforced my love for jazz. Taught me to appreciate the use of brushes. Peace, Tom B.


  • PhoenixGodwin
    October 11, 2006
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    wow!

    wow...just, wow. I was expecting to just skim through it, but I was sucked right in to the form. Great write!


  • ohsweetie970
    October 11, 2006
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    wow! this is such an amazing write! i like how you are describing the jazz that is taking place it is unique and interesting. i also like how your lines get shorter towards the end making the poem seem to move faster and pick up the beat and then it just stops. such a beautiful write...good luck in the contest. i really hope you win because this is very good.

    ash

  • Revwilliamfoos
    October 11, 2006
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    very nice write it is hard to find a good drummer and not just a banger music as with jazz is food for the spirit and soul keep doing well
    love the papa

  • tomisb
    October 11, 2006
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    Thank you for your compliments. I just wanted to share some of my joy connected with music and other sensual arts. Glad you where able to find it for yourself. Yours, Tom B.

  • tomisb
    October 11, 2006
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    Thanks for your wonderful comment. When I decided I wanted to write and erotic piece called "jazz" I had to decide if I could write a piece to live up to the title. It seems to me you really got it. So, I must of succeeded. Blessings, Tom B.

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