Fireman cuts me down
From my tree
And sheds an honest tear
It plummets to the ground
And crashes into the grass,
Just standing there
A lonely tear
As I was a lonely person
Carrying me down the ladder
He takes off my back pack and looks inside
A hand written note
My suicide note
As well as all my poetry
In my binder
My suicide note explains all
Maybe too much
It tells people
"I don't want much
Now that I'm dead
Just to be appreciated
Unlike when i was alive
And a fitting tribute
Is for anyone who knew me
To be able to go around
The tree that I committed
The dirty deed ageist myself
And pray, to Alpha-Omega
I wouldn't want much more
Just for the rest of the year
For a couple poems
To be read a day
Over the loud speaker at school
To see the ruined person's thoughts
That once walked among them
For them to find others like me
And prevent this from happening again
As they couldn't take it
The area is so bare to death
It would devastate
All in which know me
And those who saw me
Those who had no clue i existed
I would've forgiven them
For ignoring me
For fearing me
In such a matter
As to lead me to this
My own death
By my own hands
I went through much
But it never prepared me
For high-school
I couldn't survive
The only thing
That would've stopped me
Is someones love
If someone loved me
For who I am
Not what I could be
As what they couldn't see
Is my past hindered me so much
At night it hurt me
The razor blade's bite
Without the scars
It hurts from the inside
I would've considered them
Before taking the plunge
On my tombstone what I want
It to say is everything it normally has
And then for a quote
"The stronger they are
The harder they fall to fall""
Author notes
part 2 of "My Suicide?"(http://allpoetry.com/poem/2205928)
Crazy-Dan production
In a list
A contest entry
- † No one tells you about us. † by Victorian Shadow.
300 points, ended November 14, 2006, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me Everything you are... by ForgottenxMe.
700 points, ended December 26, 2006, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rather Feel Your Pain Then My Own. by Nightmare-Anatomy.
925 points, ended December 27, 2006, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Poetry Freaks by Hated..
360 points, ended February 8, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - inspiration by burning alive.
450 points, ended February 22, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anyone and Everyone! Come One and All!!!! by dragonRider15.
525 points, ended March 1, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options For All, I Want Emotions! by okadadokie.
550 points, ended March 20, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mire of Malady [a dark poetry contest] by gasolinequeen.
435 points, ended March 22, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Depressing, Dark Love, Lust, Prewrites allowed! by KittieLyyn.
450 points, ended March 28, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can You Write Dark Poetry??? Prove it! by sparkling-assassin.
345 points, ended October 13, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark and Depressing #2 by XHollowXEyesX.
750 points, ended June 18, 2007, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Crying... by near1202apocalypse.
450 points, ended January 14, 2008, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - September is Suicide Awerness and Pervention Month by FallenFromGrace1102.
2620 points, ended October 3, 2008, 70 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Wow..
The only thing
That would've stopped me
Is someones love
If someone loved me
For who I am
Not what I could be
As what they couldn't see
Is my past hindered me so much
At night it hurt me
The razor blade's bite
Without the scars
It hurts from the inside
I would've considered them
it's like you took the words right out of my head.Hope your feeling better.loved this poem
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I agree with Fallenfromgrace; those were my favourite parts too; a very effective [and impacting write!] here!
Nice job, and best wishes,
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Awesome write. keep up the great work. i wish you the best of luck in my contest. and thank you for entering. i really liked the lines:
"The only thing
That would've stopped me
Is someones love
If someone loved me
For who I am
Not what I could be
As what they couldn't see
Is my past hindered me so much
At night it hurt me
The razor blade's bite
Without the scars
It hurts from the inside
I would've considered them
Before taking the plunge"
*~*bee*~*
-
This is so sad.
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omg, I loved this, but the thought of you thinking like that makes me cry. I never want to hear of you being like this, or seeing like this, ever. I just...no clue what to say but, if I ever saw you like this I dont know what I'd do,
lovely poem all the same
keep writing``
~Ashley~<3 -
awesome write
This poem is awesome I loved it...good job, I really feel for you.I enjoyed reading it. -
Powerful and it brought tears to my eyes!
Such a heart felt piece of poetry. Having lost my first husband to suicide I know the pain and anguish that those left behind suffer...your words touched my very soul!! Best wishes in this contest!!
Shannon
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this was a great write..i really enjoyed reading this..i could relate to this and it flowed really well keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
wow this is an awesome write. I mean absolutley depressing and scary, but breathtaking at the same time. the way in which you wrote about your death is so...realistic, you described it to the readers so..detailed and with great use of language and imagery. its quit scary to think that these sorts of things actually happen.
A very deep and emotional write that I could read again and again.
Great work
Thanks for entering and goodluck
P.S Although you did not add your option number in your authors box I am not going to DQ as it is quit clear to which opiton this poem belongs, but please becareful next time.
All the best -
hey! this was a really great write..i really really enjoyed reading this poem and can relate..i absolutely loved the way you formated this and the words you choose were powerful and emotional keep writitng your talented
xXTashaXx -
thanx for entering good luck.
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A very strong emotional poem. Such feelings put into words, wow. Great job. Good luck.
~Oka
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woah... thats intense shit man. You know what.... I almost commited suicide once... but i guess 'almost' doesnt count. I had the note ready, the razor in hand, everything was perfect... until my mom walked in. I know I'm not ever going to kill myself, so, I simply wait for death. OH sorry, I always get off topic... Good luck in the contest.
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wow i like it a lot
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Wow! I can totally relate. Not that I've attempted suicide, but having my poetry in a binder, feeling ignored, and not surviving school.
I also looked at your profile, and, even though I'm 13, we kinda have a lot in common. Weird, I know...
Otherwise, this piece was one of the best I've read. Very powerful. Keep up the awesome work!
-Lyrik -
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that's honestly one of my weaker poems, i write nothing but strong stuff.
If you want to read one of my marginal poems, in which is depressing as well, read "No Happy Ending"
Its made people i showed this to at school litterally shit their pants. So be prepared.
(no i'm not overexagerating)
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this is really good. sad though. i liked how you opened it,you got right to what you were trying to say. the scenrio all played out in my head,and it broke my heart in such a way,that i myself wish that this person was loved enough for somone to heal her. a very touching and sad poem. a true rminder to help those who need us the most. for they're in desperate need of our help. so thank you for entering,and good luck.
*autumn* -
damn.....
wow... that is SUCH a good poem... but so hearwrenching.. unfortunaly... i know how you feel. i hope that this isn't how you reaslly feel and if it is i'm sorry... i'm here to talk if you'd like... but i LOVE this peom.. its so good like... i can't describe it. it made my heart wrench. it was uncomfortably good lol wow god write and keep writing!
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Excellent write.
It was very longing.
I enjoyed the power it expressed.
Thank you for entering my contest!
.†. Miss. Jade -
and although I've already commented on this.. I don't think I commented my fullest thoughts about this.. so I will write some more
.. This poem is one of the saddest, deepest, most revealing things you ahve ever written. It is horrible yet wonderful at the same time. ANd I know you can survive. You have the stregnth to make it through anything... don't just give up. If you left this world too early, there would be many people crying. PLease.. remember.. I care, and alot of others care as well. But besides the message and the borrendous implications it has, this poem was amazing.. deep and explicit. Great job.. and wonderful write.
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you seem so.....so human in the poem. more than ever in this than any of your other poems. you aren't tough, you aren't "screw the world." don't think like this. don't think that you have to go to be appreciated. think of the people who love you now. what about your friend? karen, right? i'd miss you. heck, i really would.
it's heart-wrenching to read this, only because.....i don't know, i can't explain just how.
listen, you're worth the world. and this weakness in you, it just makes you all the more human. high school is just four years. you'll survive. you will. you have to. -
You can bet that tree would be ringed around with poetry and flowers as others come up close against their own despair and humanity here.
I think a lot of people, when they are young, and especially if they are artistic, feel this way and as they grow older they can begin to process it through reading and writing (or painting...) in a way that pleases themselves and allows them to become self-sufficient, if that makes any sense, so trust me on this and hold on. -
i don't mind being told that, everyone looks at it differently
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Must admit I don't usually read dark/sad stuff ~ my poetry's totally the opposite, but I'm going to add you to my favourites. You probably won't want to be told this, but there is something so vulnerable in your writing ~ it breaks my heart.
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actually, on the contrary, its why i write. I've eliminated negative feelings from myself, and the only use i have for negative feelings are for venting.
My poems are all negative, but I don't have any positive feelings in life either, except for when in love which is why when i am over come by love i write as well. I'm not very emotional in real life, but an excellent actor am i.
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wow.. powerful
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